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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay SIL to look after DD

130 replies

smileygrapefruit · 20/07/2016 22:21

Arranged with PIL's for them to have DD (2.5 years) for a few hours this Saturday. They have messaged DH today to say they need to pop out for an hour or so and SIL (aged 17) will stay with our DD and we should give her babysitting money. Aibu to think you shouldn't have to pay family to spend time with family? All her food etc will be provided by us.

OP posts:
Cosmo111 · 20/07/2016 22:23

What's a tenner for doing abit of baby sitting.

Hassled · 20/07/2016 22:24

Would you have done it for free aged 17? I don't think I would have. She's doing you a favour - and not necessarily a favour that comes for free, family or not.

AlpacaPicnic · 20/07/2016 22:25

Actually I think the PILs should pay her. They are the ones who've 'booked' her as it were.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 20/07/2016 22:25

YANBU. I have done loads of babysitting for family in my time. Never ever occurred to me that I should get money for it!

DH's family once mentioned that a cousin could babysit when our first was born, then mentioned money. We didn't take them up on their offer as we have a babysitter who will do it for free. I'd never think that family should be paid.

Wheelerdeeler · 20/07/2016 22:25

But the pil agreed to have her. If they can't then they should pay the 17 year old

ApocalypseSlough · 20/07/2016 22:26

I think teenagers are the exception to the general money not changing hands for favours in families rule' I've just made up Grin

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 20/07/2016 22:26

Yes you should give her a few quid. She is doing you a favour.

littlepeas · 20/07/2016 22:26

I think its fair to pay a 17 year old. We have a niece of similar age and wouldn't ask her to babysit without offering money. I wouldn't expect to pay an adult sil though (beyond uni age).

FuzzyOwl · 20/07/2016 22:27

I think it is fine and normal to give someone babysitting money for looking after your child, especially if they are a younger member of your family who you know could do with the financial help. However, if your PIL said they would look after your DD, it is a bit unreasonable for them to say they can't at the last moment but unfortunately people letting you down happens.

sue51 · 20/07/2016 22:27

She's 17, give her a few quid.

NellyMelly · 20/07/2016 22:28

She's trying to earn some cash and you should pay her for babysitting - she could do this more often for you in the future. Always good to have options on babysitters

ItsMeTheMummy · 20/07/2016 22:30

At 17 I think she should be paid for babysitting but as others have said, your pil should pay as they're cancelling so they're the ones causing you to need the 17 year old babysitter.

Marilynsbigsister · 20/07/2016 22:30

No. YABU . Pil babysit out of love for their GC. Therefore are not paid. They are not available ( for whatever reason - not important - default is you because they are YOUR children. ) SIL has been blackmailed/coerced/ requested to step up. She has agreed for a price. I certainly would not have volunteered free babysitting for my brother at seventeen. ! I would have FAR-better ways to occupy my time ! How much will it cost ? Stop Being tight.

DiggersRest · 20/07/2016 22:31

Pay SIL, and then don't ask PIL to babysit again as they can't be relied on.

expatinscotland · 20/07/2016 22:33

She's 17, bung her a few quid, FFS.

gallicgirl · 20/07/2016 22:35

Are you happy for SIL to babysit?
I wouldn't be chuffed about that scenario. If you wanted SIL to babysit, you'd have asked her in the first place.

usual · 20/07/2016 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AtSea1979 · 20/07/2016 22:37

Agree, she's 17, pay her. Technically your PIL booked her so it's tricky but would your rather PIL cancelled than ask SIL?

harderandharder2breathe · 20/07/2016 22:37

Pay SIL cause she's only 17 and probably only agreed cause PIL said you'd pay

But don't let PIL babysit in the future if you can help it... Though I appreciate you may not have this choice

DonkeyOaty · 20/07/2016 22:38

God yeah bung her a tenner

She's a good kid or she'd have said no way, get real or whatever teens say nowadays; reward that

Canyouforgiveher · 20/07/2016 22:40

She is 17. give her a tenner.

shopaholic999 · 20/07/2016 22:40

Am I the only one that has read this right? Pil have agreed to babysit and obviously double booked something which means they have to go out, op isn't asking sil to babysit therefore shouldn't have to pay anything!

Xmasbaby11 · 20/07/2016 22:41

I'd pay her and wouldn't think twice. If your PIL look after the dc a lot you are probably used to free childcare, but I wouldn't expect a 17 year old to babysit for free.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/07/2016 22:41

I would be more annoyed that the PiL are letting you down, but then they have done a good job of diverting your ire.

SharonfromEON · 20/07/2016 22:42

Aibu to think you shouldn't have to pay family to spend time with family?

You make it sound like it is a treat for her..

Yes I think you should pay..You never know when you may need her help again..

I do also think your post is a bit misleading..How long are PIL's looking after LO... A few hours and out for 2 suggests they can't do it.

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