Daddy won't let dd have her hair cut

[ChicagoBullz]

She's 10 and has long hair to her bum, she wants it cut into a bob but she's worried because exh has told her via text he'll 'go mental' if she has it cut Grr need to vent he pisses me off so much, trying to be objective, am I pissed off just because he's an ex? Because he's teaching her long hair is attractive??

Its her hair. Let her get it cut and then you need to remind him should he be abusive to your daughter you will be stopping contact and seeking advice.

He has no control over her hair and you need to teach her that men cannot control her apperance.

What kitty said

10 is old enough to make up her own mind. She's the one who has to look after it and brush/wash it.

Her hair, her choice. He can go all the 'mental' he likes!

Let him 'go mental' if he wants. If he's so obsessed with bum length hair he should see if he can grow his own! If he has difficulty growing his hair down to his arse cheeks tell him that hair extensions are also an option.

A ten year old is more than old enough to decide how long or short their hair should be.

Totally old enough to make up her own mind about hair that will grow back if she changes her mind.
I am guessing one of the reasons you left was because he was a controlling arse.

Easy way round this, get him to wash and dry it! I used to have similar length, thick hair - took 5 hours to wash and dry. My dad was very sad when it got cut (into a poodle perm - was the late 80's!!) but understood the practicalities (I was going on an exchange trip and couldn't expect the host family to look after it!

Ridiculous! My 5 year old chooses how she has her hair cut, because it's her hair!
Your ex is being controlling and abusive - tell him that

Not that simple though, he's scary when angry.
I need to talk to him about this. She hates the long hair now & I don't blame her

She wants a stylish not a Mohawk. It's a perfectly normal style that she should have if she wants. Don't give in to your ex. Don't teach her that men get to tell her how she should look.

Is he scary as in shouty or scary as in likely to smash things?

Her hair her choice. Why is he so adamant aboht a little girls hair, whats wrong with him?

Shouty

Let her cut it. He sounds like an abusive tosser

Maybe it was just his idea of a "jokey" phrase? Humour doesn't always translate well in text form.

You probably know better whether it was just a badly phrased "joke" or is more likely to reflect his actual view on women with short hair.

'She hates the long hair now & I don't blame her'

She should tell him that having hair that long is just far too labour intensive in terms of washing and drying time.

Good decision on making him your ex by the way.

It's her hair. Take her to get it cut then tell him after you've had it done.

Get chopping! Depending on the mood I was in I'd either tear him a new one or explain sternly that it's not OK for men to seek to control women and girls like this, and that I was keeping the text as evidence in case of any future episodes of controlling behaviour.

Lots of things portia

It makes me uncomfortable that he's so bothered by it but I don't know if that's beyond already dislike him iyswim

Hes scary when hes angry

You maybe need to talk to him about his anger and how that is affecting his child.

Sorry but there is no way on earth i would let a man scare my child in to looking how he wants!!!!
Tell him shes had it cut and tell him if he starts he wont see his chd. Why the hell would you want this man who your child is scared of anywhere near her?

I can see why he's an ex...

Her hair, she gets to choose. Don't let her go down the "we mustn't upset daddy" route.
My dad was very upset when I had my hair cut at a similar age but he wasn't shouty or mean and my mum gave him short shrift so he soon stopped being silly about it.

Do you think talking to him ahead of time will actually do any good? If so, do it. Otherwise I think I'd probably send a brief text or email after the chop saying that I took DD to get her hair cut and that if he has anything to say about it, say it to me but that he'd better leave DD alone or I'd have to rethink her visits.

I think it's really, really important that your DD learn that no female (or male for that matter) should tailor their appearance to any member of the opposite sex.

If he's that scary when he's angry, should she (or you) be around him at all?

I let my girls have whatever style of hair they chose on the premise they'll maintain it. Their hair their choice I think I let mine at about aged 7ish. Long hair is work to maintain.

Tell her she has autonomy over her own body. And what she wants is not unreasonable.

Besides which hair grows, she'll probably have a million and one hair styles throught her life and she's entitled to.

Get it cut, and warn your ex if he's abusive he loses contact till he apologises to her and treats her with kindness.

I feel really strongly that DC should have autonomy over their own bodiehttps. I felt sad when DC wanted their hair cut but I respect their choice.

Hairdresser booked for Saturday & she excitedly text him to tell him 🙄
He's never said that before but mentioned many a time how much he loves her hair & how beautiful it is.
He's usually a calm person although can get angry about random things.
It's more her I'm worried about bearing the brunt of his mood because she's there sat pm till sun eve