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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if this is what people mean by gentle parenting

670 replies

pleasemothermay1 · 20/07/2016 13:36

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3699191/Outrage-parents-allow-child-toilet-Morning-floor.html

Not sure why a one year old wouldn't have a nappy on as she clearly is not Notts trained at that age my one year old would be become destressed to be constantly wet

And what's the no medication about surely social service would become involved if they got very ill and parents did noting

Very odd

OP posts:
Claraoswald36 · 21/07/2016 12:57

I'm well up for reintroducing species. Beavers are ace. I doubt that's what bamboo means though

derxa · 21/07/2016 13:01

Wolves would be great, especially for sheep farmers...

mouldycheesefan · 21/07/2016 13:04

They want other people to donate 100k to them so they can be self sustainable!!!!! How ironic. And they can't spell sustainable on their website.

HeyRobot · 21/07/2016 13:12

I think they've introduced wolves somewhere in the uk quite successfully.

Claraoswald36 · 21/07/2016 13:21

I light donate to some re wilding fund thing. But not these quacks

HeyRobot · 21/07/2016 13:24

Yes I don't think these guys have reintroduced any missing species to Brighton!

CalmItKermitt · 21/07/2016 13:25

What tiresome people.

drspouse · 21/07/2016 13:44

they can't spell sustainable

Were they unschooled too?

SouperSal · 21/07/2016 13:45

In fairness plenty of schooled people didn't bother learning aren't good at spelling or grammar.

drspouse · 21/07/2016 13:56

That was slightly tongue in cheek.

derxa · 21/07/2016 14:04

I see a TV series coming up. Supernanny visits the Allen house. Wee Olastra pees on Jo Frost's feet. Jo shouts, 'That's unasseptible!' Parents throw Jo out of the house. And repeat.

Mycatsabastard · 21/07/2016 14:06

So both the parents are writing e-books which they will give away to anyone who donates to one of their crowdfunding pages. (I think the Costa Rica one now has £47 which may get them to the airport).

So how exactly off grid are they? Do they get housing benefits for their rented flat? Do they get tax credits, child benefit and anything else? Because it seems that neither of them work at all (unless you count writing a blog or some weird yoga thing actual work).

And I don't care if they co-sleep (it's normal), extended bf (also normal) or want to home educate the children (although picking flowers is hardly educational if that's all you do). But the lack of medical care is worrying. And those kids should be vaccinated.

And some boundaries for that 5 year old wouldn't go amiss. He's basically allowed to do what he wants, when he wants and seems to be in charge of the daily routine. He's 5. I can't imagine the chaos in this house when both these kids are 10 years older than they are now. Let's hope the chaos happens in Costa Rica rather than a local Costa Coffee.

jellymaker · 21/07/2016 14:14

Sadly, nearly every child that I have encountered whose parents are like this, are very unhappy. Small children can't handle too much choice too soon. It makes them very insecure. They need boundaries consistent with their age.

Claraoswald36 · 21/07/2016 14:24

Mycat - agree with all of your post

mouldycheesefan · 21/07/2016 14:40

The parents are fantasists. There is nothing to suggest that they have the skills or experience to achieve a self sustaining lifestyle. They could do that in the uk if they wanted to, plenty of people do. I wonder if they ever have been to Costa Rica?
The fact they need other people to give them £100k to achieve it says it all. They are basically beggars with a big dream and no common sense.

8misskitty8 · 21/07/2016 14:47

What I find disturbing is that they have openly admitted they don't treat their sons asthma, instead using herbs etc. And that they will treat any illness/disease with herbs, roots instead of seeking medical help including cancer. They allow the baby to just pick things and eat it, she could be ingesting anything.
To me that is neglect, so why have they not been reported to social services ?

And they are so off grid that they have blogs, Facebook, etc. Despite writing about how wifi is damaging to health they use it !

pleasemothermay1 · 21/07/2016 14:55

A five year old not being able to count is fine if they have a educational issue

It's not fine because the adults cannot be arsed to teach them

I know what scorn it put on the traveller comminty because they won't teach there girls to read and write and rightly so it's awful

But because Allan and fucking Allan are middle class white folk it's all ok they won't teach there children to read Or count

I have a 16 year old and the idea they will learn what they want is farcical from the ages of 3-10 children love learning from teen age in wards of they did what they wanted one would imagine they would be getting an A in XBOX and snogging his girlfriend

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Idliketobeabutterfly · 21/07/2016 15:05

I'm personally wondering how you can unschool a child that has never been to school.

pleasemothermay1 · 21/07/2016 15:06

poster 8misskitty8

Because they are white and middle class

They why ss haven't been round

There are many things they do that would be flagged up but because they are middle class and can disguise there neglect it's not noticed

Working class mum- not seeking aproprate pre natel care

Mrs Allen - free birthing

Working class mum- not sending her child to school or educating it in any way

Mrs Allan-in schooling

Working class mum - providing Inaproptate boundires

Mrs Allan - allowing the children to explore there own boundires

Working class mum- not providing children with appropriate medical care

Mrs Allan - treating children with herbs and oils

Working class mum avoids ss,teachers ,doctors ,hv
Mrs Allan -wishes not to be observed by athorites

Working class mum is negleful child is removed or put on cp register
Mrs Allan - crunchy , alternative

OP posts:
SouperSal · 21/07/2016 15:13

No.

ss haven't been round because SS don't know they exist. (They might now, but the parents haven't actually broken any laws.)

derxa · 21/07/2016 15:14

The parents are fantasists Yes. Have they any idea how hard it is to farm or even grow anything. I expect she just wants publicity though. And all of her parenting ideas are not even original.

Fullyloaded1 · 21/07/2016 15:16

Witsender I agree well said 👏

pleasemothermay1 · 21/07/2016 15:18

Child neglect is a law

And that's exactly why they avoid don't want to be observed because she clearly knows that most professionals would take issues with what she is doing the same way people who do other shit to there kids avoid schools , doctors ect
As not to draw attention to there neglect

She clearly states she's wishes not to be observed

OP posts:
pleasemothermay1 · 21/07/2016 15:22

Ben fogal did a series about lives in the wild

And they had some people on there like this

Tbh the lives looked grim they seemed as if they were existing the kids were board And were unable to get the simulation or socialisation they needed in there teens so they eneded up sending there teens to bording school

I think living in a remote location with only a sibling for comapy is fun up until about 10

OP posts:
witsender · 21/07/2016 15:31

Unschooling is different to deschooling. You need to have been to school for the latter, but not the former.

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