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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if this is what people mean by gentle parenting

670 replies

pleasemothermay1 · 20/07/2016 13:36

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3699191/Outrage-parents-allow-child-toilet-Morning-floor.html

Not sure why a one year old wouldn't have a nappy on as she clearly is not Notts trained at that age my one year old would be become destressed to be constantly wet

And what's the no medication about surely social service would become involved if they got very ill and parents did noting

Very odd

OP posts:
Gowgirl · 20/07/2016 22:42

unschooling seems to me lazy parenting and bordering on deny a child an education. HE would never be for me but it is an education.
Everything seems to bejust about publicity for the blog and beggingjust giving page!

Gowgirl · 20/07/2016 22:45

Did everyone see the beautiful baby photos.....complete with placenta in a colander!

"no darling I don't need an ultrasound, midwife etc, just grab the colander and pop it in the washing up bowl"

FinderofNeedles · 20/07/2016 22:49

If I'd tried to give birth on my own, without any medical intervention I would have bled to death. Fact.

Love the theory of their ideas; couldn't carry it out in real life though.

ProfessorBranestawm · 20/07/2016 22:50

Admittedly haven't read/watched it all but generally I find articles like this give home education a really bad name! Like we are all letting our kids go feral.

ElspethFlashman · 20/07/2016 22:53

OMG the comments on their FB page are epic.

FinderofNeedles · 20/07/2016 22:54

And why so many photos of her BF her 5 yo? Is that in case we miss the point? Or is she an exhibitionist? Or are the DM just pandering to the voyeurs among their readership? I think we should be told...

MypocketsarelikeNarnia · 20/07/2016 22:56

Redshoe they are also in the daily fail article. It's just so 'look everyone - look how shocking this is. Yuck, we're so shocked. (And turn to page 14 for some photos of celebrities in bikinis)'.

Prurient weirdos getting their kicks out of despising people for being a bit different. So a child pissed on a floor - is that seriously news?

Gowgirl · 20/07/2016 22:56

I'm fflicking between here and their fb elspethGrin I'm assuming she isn't a mumsnetter....

goddessoftheharvest · 20/07/2016 22:57

Damn right I judge non vaxxers.

I read a comment on their fb page from a girl who has links to Costa Rica. Apparently vaccinations there are mandatory, and they won't be let in to the country without them

Gowgirl · 20/07/2016 22:58

I have yet to see a photo of her feeding her little girl, admittedly I haven't read the entire blog.....yet....

ElspethFlashman · 20/07/2016 22:59

And I've also noticed that she rejoices in posing breastfeeding her 5 year old - even on their bloody Fund Me page which I presume they uploaded themselves.

Yet no pictures of her breastfeeding her 1 year old!

Shes so thirsty!

Mind you, I saw She but actually her silent husband is just as bad.

I suspect a yoga teacher and a blogger are going to get the shock of their lives scrabbling in their field in Costa Rica.

Oldraver · 20/07/2016 23:01

and we washed and wrapped the placenta everyday to keep it clean and placed it in a waterproof pouch. aka a carrier bag

lljkk · 20/07/2016 23:03

tbf, Adele said the tot had a nappy on it just leaked... maybe they didn't realise cloth nappies tend to be rubbish on older tots, plus she was obviously taking a dump in that clip.

I must know almost a dozen families currently or recently HEing and they all seem to scoff at unschooling. They say it's idealistic nonsense at best, but mostly rubbish. Dunno if that's just my weirdness attracting only the weird HErs, though. Wink

MilnersGold · 20/07/2016 23:14

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

The parents obviously love their kids to bits & want the best for them, & they are happy to put the time & effort in themselves. A lot of kids don't have that.

However I cannot see how they are equipping their kids for normal day to day life. I feel sorry for the kids.

I have a dear friend who has gone down the very free range parenting path, totally influenced by his wife.

I love him to bits, but the last time I hosted his family (3 kids) here I said never again. I'm laid back but the wreckage was epic :( This is someone I have known for 20 years.

All I can do is hope he comes out of the small children "bubble" soon. Once they are teenagers they won't listen to anyone, no matter what you do!

dolkapots · 20/07/2016 23:16

I can't get worked up about anything they have said. I think it is fairly obvious that they are a pair of smug attention seekers though. Their GoFundMe is hilarious. They have donated £5 to themselves Grin They also intend to give a copy of their not-yet-complete ebook on self-sufficiency free to donors.

Mrsfrumble · 20/07/2016 23:27

The anti-vax stuff is bollocks, but I can't get worked up about co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding.

As for the unschooled / illiterate 5 year old? He's 5 FFS! Most of his peers will have only learned in the last 9 months or so. My 5.8 year old can't read or write either as we live in a country where children don't start formal school until the August after their 5th birthday.

Snazarooney · 20/07/2016 23:33

I love how it says they're migrating to Costa Rica!!!

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 20/07/2016 23:37

How are they "off grid"? They live in a GF flat in a terrace??
Growing a few bean sprouts doesn't make you off grid however much you fancy the title. Bet they still have mains electric and water and drainage etc.

"cheap" land in central america is cheap because the locals know bloody better than to live in the middle of nowhere with no security!

dolkapots · 20/07/2016 23:37

Snaz it is probably intentional. Common folk emigrate. they are unconvenshunal, doncha know?

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 21/07/2016 00:00

What I find most annoying about them is they're not doing anything that unusual, but they're convinced they're the next 18 kids & counting family (i.e. that they're gonna make a nice bit of money out of it)

So they draw you in by saying they're more radical than they are (they're not "off grid", THAT would be interesting) - they're just like every other permissive unschooler… but "gentle parenting" is not that media worthy - they're 10 a penny, so IMO they're trying to inflate what it is they actually do.

BFing a 5YO isn't that unusual, trying to get on the "media circuit" about it is

If I was part of the HE/extended BFing/vegan parenting community I would be PISSED OFF at this lady for deliberately trying to sensationalise it so she can make a bit of money from all the "media chaos" she mentions on her FB which is CLEARLY of her own orchestration

BlueLeopard · 21/07/2016 00:12

Lets see how principled they are when they twig that moving to Costa Rica requires mandatory vaccination. Hmm

This kind of bollocks about natural birth pisses me off. Without medical intervention, both of my sisters and I would be dead. It's as simple as that.

I fucking sailed through pregnancy, textbook all the way, did the hypnobirthing and yoga and was fully convinced that I'd deliver naturally. Well, DS and my body had other plans, and I don't care. We all came out of it alive and healthy and that is all that matters. I refuse to be shamed by a parent who looks down on my EMCS.

It's all very well to play hippies with your own lives. Choose not to get medical treatment yourself. Choose not to get vaccinations or wear shoes or whatever. But until your child has the choice themselves you choose the best for them.

My DP had asthma as a child. Even now, he cannot leave the house without an inhaler, such is his fear of an attack. Yet in the 20 years I've known and been with him, he's never had an asthma attack. He says its one of the most painful, terrifying things he's ever experienced, and this is a bloke that's had building site accidents and pretty much every bone broken in his body playing a physical sport.

To deny a child relief from that pain and panic of an asthma attack for hours until it got so bad they had to go to hospital is neglect. I'm not one for rushing to the GP every time there is a sniffle, and I'm a big believer in the ability of the body to fight off minor things. I breastfed until he self weaned and would have quite crunchy leanings. But I vaccinate because its my duty to my child, and would bring him to the doctor.

I take risks with my health, as is my right as an adult. Its not my right to take risks with my childs health so I can pat myself on the back.

yellowgladys · 21/07/2016 00:13

a five year old breastfeeding borders on incest to me
What a very ugly comment. It's so sad that Mumsnet is becoming a place for BF-shaming. Indeed so much ugly, judgy intolerance on this thread - what's wrong with you all? I'm not a crunchy parent, but hell, they take care of their kids, they have a value system which isn't that way-out, why does it bother so many people?

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 21/07/2016 00:16

Off-grid parenting is a term used to describe a style of parenting which seeks to adopt a natural, self-sustainable, unconventional and intuitive approach to all aspects of child rearing. Off-grid parents usually step outside the system when it comes to their children’s medical care and education and opt for alternative health care, alternative education such as unschooling and adopt alternative child rearing praices.

FFS, no it doesn't
Off grid literally means OFF THE NATIONAL GRID - i.e. not connected to the electricity and water/drainage GRID!
That's what it MEANS

There's nothing off grid or self sustainable about these people. Most off grid people are too busy tending animals and repairing solar panels dusk till dawn to update their blogs and whore themselves out to whatever media will bite

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 21/07/2016 00:19

It's so sad that Mumsnet is becoming a place for BF-shaming

Actually I think the person here doing the BF-shaming is the mother

I personally support extended breastfeeding although it's not for me personally, however this couple are trying to sensationalise it for financial gain - doing all other extended BFers a disservice.

People up and down the country will have BF their 5YOs to sleep tonight - she's the only one trying to make money from it! The more unusual she can make what she does sound, the more she seems to think her family brand will work and bring in the £££s

Snazarooney · 21/07/2016 00:20

dolkapots I have visions of them all flying there like birds.