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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should my friend replace sunglasses she lost?

108 replies

Onesieisthequeensselfie · 20/07/2016 13:30

More of a WWYD.

I left a pair of designer sunnies at my friend's house the other day.

Friend has just phoned to say terribly sorry but she borrowed them and has lost them. Sad

She was hugely apologetic but hasn't made an offer to replace them.

I don't know if she realised that they are quite expensive and that's why she hasn't offered.

AIBU to think that she could have at least asked how much they were/offered to contribute towards replacing them?

OP posts:
Shinyshoes2 · 20/07/2016 13:31

yes I think she should pay half the cost
It was your fault for leaving them there but equally she shouldn't have borrowed them without your permission and lost them

Doggity · 20/07/2016 13:32

I don't think YABU. Did she ask to borrow them btw?

Original poster
Onesieisthequeensselfie · 20/07/2016 13:33

No, she didn't ask whether she could borrow them.

I accept it was my mistake leaving them behind in the first place.

OP posts:
Littlecaf · 20/07/2016 13:33

Yes she should pay, she lost them!

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/07/2016 13:33

I agree with going halfsies. You left them, she lost them.

Hensintheskirting · 20/07/2016 13:34

No YANBU she lost them, she borrowed them without your permission. She's being tight not to offer to replace them.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 20/07/2016 13:37

If someone left something at my house, how is it in any way their responsibility to stop me from losing them? It's not hard to put them to one side for you to collect them another time! If I left my purse accidentally I don't think I should have to worry about a friend borrowing money from it.

If you haven't already, I would text something back like 'You're joking! Those cost me £X00!' and then see what she says.

Arfarfanarf · 20/07/2016 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RNBrie · 20/07/2016 13:39

Can you reply saying they were really expensive and is there any chance she could claim for their loss on her house insurance as you can't afford to replace them?

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 20/07/2016 13:42

People are rubbish these days. If I ever damaged something belonging to someone else, I replace it - or at least offer to do so. But I seem to be in the minority now.

I stayed at a friend's once. Friend woke in the morning, somehow mistook my phone for their's, and promptly ripped it out of the case, breaking the case. Merely said "sorry, I thought it was mine". No offer to replace. Even if she thought it was her's, like to know how on earth she could break it like that.

Another friend asked to borrow my case for her ski holiday (mine being bigger than her's and on wheels). I'd only used it twice myself. Came back broken. She offered to have "the blokes at work have a look at it" but I had a look at it and it was not repairable and quite frankly, as it was almost brand new and unused, a bodge-up wouldn't have been on. She didn't damage it herself, I am sure it will have been the airport luggage handlers. But in her shoes, I'd have apologised profusely and immediately offered to buy a replacement.

101handbags · 20/07/2016 13:44

She wore them without your permission and lost them. It's entirely her responsibility to replace them.

Scarydinosaurs · 20/07/2016 13:45

She borrowed them and lost them- I would reply and say: "They cost me £100, are you absolutely sure you cannot find them?"

HereIAm20 · 20/07/2016 13:45

She lost them - her responsibility! (Home insurance).

Re suitcase - travel insurance??

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 20/07/2016 13:46

She should replace them, what a cheek, I'd be furious!

Propertyquandry · 20/07/2016 13:49

No way is it the op's fault. No wY should she pay half. She accidentally left something at s friends house and now she's half responsible for that friend wearing them without permission and losing them? Really?

Op, I'd call her and ask if she can see if her insurance would cover them as they were expensive. Sees what she says as she may them say 'gosh, really, of course I'll replace them.'

facepalming · 20/07/2016 13:49

YANBU - she should offer but If it was me I wouldn't accept. These things do happen.

Propertyquandry · 20/07/2016 13:50

So I leave my car at my friend's house as I've had a drink. Leave my keys too. Friend decided to joyride and writes off car. Is that my fault?

Voteforpedr0 · 20/07/2016 13:51

Whats worth more ? Your friendship or the sunglasses ? People are more import than material possessions.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 20/07/2016 13:51

Here A lot of insurance companies seem to need you to register the damage at an airport desk and get paperwork. She didn't spot the damage properly until she got home (it was internal with the telescopic handle thing). Besides if you're in a group back from a skiing trip and all in one car, one person isn't going to make the others wait for hours to get that sorted for a £70 case. It's just too much faff and then to do all the forms. I'd have just paid it.

twilightcafe · 20/07/2016 13:52

YANBU. She borrowed them, and lost them. Doesn't matter whether you left them at her house. I wouldn't expect a friend to use my stuff like that, and vice versa.

Don't borrow an item if you can't afford to replace it.

acasualobserver · 20/07/2016 13:52

To not offer to put things right is pretty shabby IMO. For me, this might rather sour the friendship.

MyKingdomForBrie · 20/07/2016 13:54

I would write back 'Christ, do you know where you last had them? They were bloody expensive'

Arfarfanarf · 20/07/2016 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CatNip2 · 20/07/2016 13:57

I think she borrowed them, liked them and kept them. She's now hoping you will let it go and she will get them out next summer and pretend she bought them.

Sorry, I am a such a cynic.

CatThiefKeith · 20/07/2016 13:58

Bloody right she should replace them. They weren't hers to wear!