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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should my friend replace sunglasses she lost?

108 replies

Onesieisthequeensselfie · 20/07/2016 13:30

More of a WWYD.

I left a pair of designer sunnies at my friend's house the other day.

Friend has just phoned to say terribly sorry but she borrowed them and has lost them. Sad

She was hugely apologetic but hasn't made an offer to replace them.

I don't know if she realised that they are quite expensive and that's why she hasn't offered.

AIBU to think that she could have at least asked how much they were/offered to contribute towards replacing them?

OP posts:
Propertyquandry · 20/07/2016 13:58

What sort of friend wouldn't offer to pay or at the very least say they couldn't afford to pay right now but would as soon as possible?

amusedbush · 20/07/2016 14:01

I don't agree that it's partly your fault because you left them there. It's not like you left them on a bus and lost them that way! She should have let you know and put them somewhere safe until you collected them.

It was cheeky as fuck for her to wear them and she should pay for them in full.

Original poster
Onesieisthequeensselfie · 20/07/2016 14:09

Thanks for all your replies.

There's part of me that doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, but another bit of me is really annoyed.

I did say: "Oh no! Shit. Normally I wouldn't care too much, but they were horribly expensive..." hoping she'd get the hint but she just paused and said "oh dear. I'm so sorry onesie. I'm really embarrassed."

I'm afraid this is probably going to affect our friendship one way or another as pp have suggested. Sad

OP posts:
Propertyquandry · 20/07/2016 14:11

Ask if she can claim on her insurance for them as they were expensive.

WannaBe · 20/07/2016 14:11

Confused at the posters saying that it was partly the OP's fault for leaving the glasses at friend's house. So should one assume that if you leave stuff at a friend's then it's their's to do with as they choose until such times as you go to collect it?

If friend had accidentally knocked the glasses off the side into the bin and they'd ended up broken or similar that would be one thing and I'd say that the OP had left them there and it was an accident. But the friend deliberately borrowed them, took them out of the house, and then lost them. She is entirely responsible and I'd expect her to replace them.

Original poster
Onesieisthequeensselfie · 20/07/2016 14:18

I think she borrowed them, liked them and kept them

Shock
OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 20/07/2016 14:18

Follow this up. Send a text along the lines of, 'Yes,this is very awkward but I need them for X in 2 weeks so have to get them replaced and they cost £y so I'm going to have to ask you to claim on your home insurance or contribute £z towards them as I just can't afford to replace them myself. I really hope this isn't going to come between us, can you let me know what you decide? Love, Onsie'.

Depending on how much they really did cost and how old they were she should be giving you at least half the cost.

ADishBestEatenCold · 20/07/2016 14:21

"she just paused and said 'oh dear. I'm so sorry onesie. I'm really embarrassed.'"

I think you should phone/text her again.

Say that you've been thinking about it and you really can't afford to loose x amount. Say that you need her to check to see that they are covered by her house insurance, but thought that before putting in a claim she should retrace her steps and check to see if they have been handed in anywhere on her route.

tictactoad · 20/07/2016 14:22

She's a cheeky chancer and it's backfired.Doubt she'd have breathed a word about "borrowing" them if she hadn't had to 'fess up to losing them likewise if she'd damaged them.

She should definitely pay at least a percentage depending how new they were in the first place.

ADishBestEatenCold · 20/07/2016 14:25

"she should be giving you at least half the cost."

I don't understand why you think the friend should give as little as half the cost, Matilda.

She didn't take borrow just half the sunglasses.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 20/07/2016 14:25

I can't begin the fathom how she has the brass neck to not to replace them.

Just because someone left something at her house didn't make it her property to use, lose or break.

If the OP had left her purse by mistake would it be ok for the friend to borrow and lose the cash inside it?

blindsider · 20/07/2016 14:25

what is this bollocks about you should go halves??

If you left your car at someones house and they took it and used it without permission you wouldn't be agreeing to go halves on that. You haven't lost them, your friend has. She should replace them, it is utter madness to suggest otherwise and she needs a slap for not immediately offering.

NoCakeLeft · 20/07/2016 14:26

I agree with CatNip
I think she kept them.

EttaJ · 20/07/2016 14:28

YANBU. I am bemused by people blaming you OP. Ridiculous! People leave things in error all the time and the friend should not use them and even worse, lose them! She should replace them without a doubt and really should have offered.How bloody rude.

AyeAmarok · 20/07/2016 14:29

The thought she liked them and kept them crossed my mind too.

But she borrowed them without asking, then lost them. She should 100% replace them.

MatildaTheCat · 20/07/2016 14:30

i don't know why she should pay half the cost, Matilda

I know, I agree with you Grin

Just seems more likely than getting a new pair out the cheeky cow friend. And we don't know how old they were.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 20/07/2016 14:31

Absolutely ask her about claiming on her insurance now based on her response. Friendship is probably fucked though.

AyeAmarok · 20/07/2016 14:31

Could you suggest her claiming on her insurance for them, as a way to broach it that the cost of replacing them is hers to bear?

dustarr73 · 20/07/2016 14:32

Ask her to replace them and i bet they suddenly turn up.

pictish · 20/07/2016 14:33

I think this one is pretty clear - she took your sunnies without permish then lost them, so she ought to step up. She owes you a new pair of sunglasses.

diddl · 20/07/2016 14:33

I wouldn't worry too much about the friendship-she doesn't think much of you!

Uses something you accidentally left behind, doesn't take care of it & doesn't seem bothered at all.

sparechange · 20/07/2016 14:34

I can't see why OP should be claiming on the friend's insurance
Surely she should claim on her own insurance, as she left them there in the first place?

Sunglasses aren't worth more than a good friendship. They are just sunglasses ffs

ThatsWotSheSaid · 20/07/2016 14:35

Unless shes rich your friend may not have the money to cover them either. She made a mistake she's apologies profusely. IMO you should take the loss. Surely your friendship is worth more than a pair of sunglasses.

pictish · 20/07/2016 14:37

AyeAmarok is right. Broach it by helpfully suggesting she try claiming for them off the household insurance "to save you the cost of replacing them".

Thus making clear she is responsible for both replacing and paying for them.

blindsider · 20/07/2016 14:37

Surely your friendship is worth more than a pair of sunglasses

The old one way street argument Hmm