That teachers do NOT always get it right.

[callherwillow]

1. This is not teacher bashing. Teacher bashing would be criticising people just because they are teachers.

1. I am a teacher. I know children misunderstand things, a lot. I know what can sound awful was actually nothing after establishing the facts. I would never recommend a parent goes in 'guns blazing.'

1. I know teachers work hard. I know it can be thankless task, knackering, the odd mistake can be forgiven and indeed expected and so on and so forth.

Now to the crux.

Whenever someone complains about a teacher on here there are so many replies that assume the parent is unreasonable, that assume the teacher is right (because they are a teacher) and it's getting to the stage where I know opening a thread where someone asks about a teacher (which will happen a lot as so many have school age children) will have numerous pages insisting that whatever they are concerned about either didn't happen at all or that if it did, it's fine and excused on the basis teachers work hard.

No.

Teachers lie. I had a teacher tell a lie about me that could have been very serious indeed. Luckily, enough students were brave enough (and it was brave of them) to be truthful. The teacher in question was their head of year and it was a horribly awkward situation. I have known numerous Headteachers and senior teachers lie. They started their careers as ordinary classroom teachers. Do not kid yourselves teachers won't lie. They might lie out of awkwardness, out of anxiety, out of misplaced loyalty or just to be spiteful.

Teachers do sometimes take against a particular child. I haven't seen this happen a lot - only a handful of times - but it does happen. Again I am NOT saying if you think this is the case to go in 'guns blazing.' I am saying that while it's rare and probably is not the case, it is nonetheless a possibility.

Teachers don't know everything, that should be obvious. However, if you have real concerns about the education your child is getting, it does not stand that because the teacher has a degree and a teaching qualification that they know everything. I nearly missed out on my university place due to not being taught a vital part of the curriculum on one of my A levels. I am sure the teacher did not mean this to happen, I am sure they felt really bad about it. But still, if the university hadn't let me in anyway, that would have altered the course of my life. It certainly affected some other students in the class. It is acceptable to ask questions, to ask on here first and then raise concerns with the teacher. It is not acceptable for a load of ITS A TEACHER DON'T BE DAFT NOW RUN ALONG.

Teachers sometimes make a bad judgement. Nine times out of ten it's probably just a normal human error and I'd say let it go. If it's upsetting your child - raise it. A good teacher won't mind talking to you and sorting out whatever the issue is.

It's the end of term. Teachers for the most part do a brilliant job, but amongst them as well as the kind, intelligent, supportive and enthusiastic are the sinister, cruel, lying, bullying and incompetent. Rare? Yes. Never heard of? No.

Mumsnet is a great resource for sharing ideas about children's education and I think parents should be able to enquire about it without angry teachers slating them for having the gall to ask.

Hope dressing and undressing is a good example because it could be used by teachers for co ordination lessons. In EYs of course. There are many daft parents who dress their children to save time or whatever. They probably feed them too. Teachers USED to have the time to help them. There is something very wrong with the education system now.

The advice from posters generally seems to be "why not check with the teacher first" rather than assume he/she is a homicidal/power crazed/child hating member of the profession! ( and I presume there are some teachers who are, just as there are some doctors/lawyers/shop assistants with similar tendencies)

In my case, yes - in part.

Having to live up to expectations, work hard, get results, read and re-read feedback in order to improve, be able to show anyone who cared to ask how improvements had been nurtured, facilitated, documented by me the teacher but never the student was the sole reason I stopped teaching.

I can do the job, I got good results, but the students whose attention was elsewhere and didn't do as well as A N Other expected were always my fault and as I worked in a specialist sports college that fed junior national teams and professional careers, I had a few of those!

That SMT always supported the complainant and made all staff prove they had taken on board all criticism and were improving their customer service as sell as results made the job untenable. So I left.

As I understand it this can be par for the course in many Academies... so prepare to meet the phenomenon if you haven't already done so!

No. Those 18 are because people are leaving for a variety of reasons.

Where did I imply it was because of nasty parents?

There is a tendency on MN at the moment to try to minimise a lot of things, and also to compete to be the first to trivialise an issue (bonus points if it can be done in a condescending and patronising manner).

It is not a minor issue for a child to be left thirsty for a couple of hours. That's a long time, and apart from the issue of the moment (thirst) could easily lead to a breakdown of trust between pupil and teacher. Yet on the thread, as previously mentioned, posters were tripping over each other in the rush to point out all the ways the child could be at fault. It's horrible to see, tbh.

Of course teachers are not all perfect. They are, after all, only human. Some nice, some nasty (and of those, some deliberately so, some carelessly). It's the same as any other profession.

I personally had the misfortune of knowing 3 teachers who were sexual predators. 3. And that's in two small schools.

As a parent I've had the lovely experience of having a teacher tell me to write off my child's entire future (dd1 has SN, and when I challenged the teacher to give me proof that she had learned anything at all during her time in the school (she hadn't) the teacher told me that I was expecting too much from dd1, I should accept her as she is, and accept the fact she would never learn anything. Oddly I removed dd1 that same day, and found a placement where the teachers were interested in helping her. She has gone from strength to strength).

I am also regularly lied to by dd2's teachers, and repeatedly told that she is receiving the help outlined on her IEP when I know she isn't (tip: if you're going to lie, at least try to keep your story straight!)

Ds is starting school in September. He has ASD, and the school has decided he needs some 1:1. All good, supposedly. Except they have, in their wisdom, decided he should come out of class to receive this 1:1. Ds' only problem is social settings, and it makes no sense whatsoever to separate him for his extra help, rather than utilise the 1:1 to help him overcome his social issues. But yet again, the school are not listening and will forge ahead with their plan, which will ultimately be of no benefit to Ds at all.

So, in a very limited sphere of experience, I seem to have come across a shockingly high proportion of crap teachers. I wish I could believe that I was just unlucky, but sadly, I know I am far from the only person to have had hear experiences.

The thread is about the fact that on MN, at the moment, it is difficult to have a sane discussion about a problem at school due to defensiveness, insistence the teacher MUST be in the right and numerous other posts that state teaching is hard. To state on this thread that many teachers at your school have left seems to imply that the reason for them leaving is because of parental complaints. If of course this is not the case I wish those teachers well, but I am unsure as to the relevance of bringing it up here.

Pearlman, when I was a head of department of a core subject in a medium senior school, complaints were very rare, quickly dealt with and usually relevant enough. I found most parents hugely apologetic for bothering me. Even when once a teacher was absent for an entire term it was only tentatively and apologetically parents approached.

I've worked in five very different secondary schools and I've only had one really horrible parent in that time. I had one parent who was difficult to start with but she was more upset than horrible (her DD was being bullied.) I had one weird complaint that I was shouting at a kid for leaving his pencil case behind (I didn't, I called him back to return said pencil case!) and one weird complaint last year that I embarrassed a girl by asking her name but that's it.

Maybe I've just been lucky but the harassed teacher fielding numerous complaints doesn't tally with my personal experience at all.

Where personal experience is involved, it is impossible for anyone to be objective.

It is not a minor issue for a child to be left thirsty for a couple of hours. That's a long time, and apart from the issue of the moment (thirst) could easily lead to a breakdown of trust between pupil and teacher. Yet on the thread, as previously mentioned, posters were tripping over each other in the rush to point out all the ways the child could be at fault. It's horrible to see, tbh.

The last half of that is absolutely true, couldn't agree more... but many teachers and other posters took issue with the first bit... was the child told no water? Or had something else gone on and he had missed various instructions, reminders etc... which may be why he was referred to as 'the most disorganised boy in YrX'... and suddenly, when all bags were in the luggage hold and they were off, for example, suddenly remembered his bag and water...

Many posters just took that bit at face value... as I said at the time (possibly even on page 1) it sounded odd, so OP should go and ask the teacher what her take on it was... and then act accordingly. That seems to be the message that is still being lost... if any parent has an issue with a teacher ask them about it.... don't just assume you have all the facts, ask... then you can complain as much as you like - no reasonable person, teacher or not, would argue with a well informed complaint!

The thread is about the fact that on MN, at the moment, it is difficult to have a sane discussion about a problem at school due to defensiveness

Both sides are guilty of this though, as this very thread highlights.

I absolutely accept that, but do you see how upon insisting that YOUR experience is correct, you can end up with a skewed view?

This thread is not about water or losing children or the other threads, the point is that the parents of those children have every right to politely ask on a parenting forum about this.

If someone says 'YABU. No real harm done, and at least he got the bag back!' - fine, although personally I don't agree, but that's different to 'the kid is a little shit and the poor, POOR teacher had to get his bag for him. No wonder I am leaving the profession!' type of posts that appear with boring regularity whenever someone dares question a teacher.

My main objection is to parents who come on here complaining about a teacher, without having spoken to them first to ascertain the facts.

Don't you think it's better for them to ask if their complaint has any grounding first? Or should they STFU?

Maybe rather than asking on a parenting forum, they should ask the teacher. Just a thought.

Yes, so they should STFU? :)

So your child tells you something at 7 o clock as you're putting them to bed and you think 'that's weird!' ask on MN - no? That shouldn't be allowed?

Of course it should be allowed, just as people should be allowed to defend teachers.

All teachers?

All teachers?

If they want, free speech, different opinions & all that.

So your child tells you something at 7 o clock as you're putting them to bed and you think 'that's weird!' ask on MN - no? That shouldn't be allowed?

That's twisting it, though.

Come and ask on MN, vent your frustration at not being able to get to the bottom of it NOW.... but you also have to acknowledge that vent, rather than demanding 'heads will roll' or stating that the kid is lying and the teacher is a saint....

If a parent - any parent, feels they have cause for complaint then they should approach the school. Asking a bunch of total strangers on the Internet when you only have one side of the story anyway is not, IMO, very grown up. Also IMO, most people post in AIBU for validation. A great many do not want to hear that they are being unreasonable.

OP, as a teacher yourself, how would you feel if a parent made a complaint against you and backed it up with "and lots of people on an anonymous Internet forum agree with me". You'd think they were a bit odd, wouldn't you?

Approach the school and voice your query in a calm way. Depending on what you hear from that you may need to move to a formal complaint.
Please do not undermine the teacher by bad mouthing him or her in front of your child, because whilst your queries/complaint is being investigated your child will remain in class with the same teacher and your child may read your comments as a green light to be rude and uncooperative. Hard to believe but true. Be prepared to hear a different story to the original one that came your way, keep and open mind and always be polite. There is no need for threats, abuse ever. And don't think that some crappy little present at the end of term buys you special privileges!
I speak as a teacher ( in fact as a member of SMT dare I say) and as a parent.

in those schools, good teachers wither and die inside, if they can recruit them in the first place. There are serious problems within teaching, and we should educate ourselves as to what they are Well I left and it wasn't anything to do with parents or pupils. I relished solving problems with parents and pupils, It was my job to sort it out. Other teachers... not so good sometimes. However water in a bus story was a story imo. It really got my back up.
There's a spectrum of teacher bad behaviour just like in all other professions. Ranging from the criminal to a bit petty.