DH said "oh look at you saying anything to justify your existence"

[dArtagnansCrumpet]

AIBU to be upset?

I'm a sahm to a 2 and 3 year old, 3 year old has SN. Husband works full time.

I suffer from low self confidence, self esteem and possibly depression which DH knows.

This is the conversation. I was tidying up before youngest went to bed, DH was on his phone. I said "don't you help will you" in a jokey voice. He said "I'm busy entertaining our daughter". Me: "I always manage to tidy and entertain her". Him: "Well usually I do help tidy yesterday I hoovered and tidied" (he did Hoover but i tidied again before youngest went to bed as he sat and watched me). Me: "right ok even though I tidied". Him: "oh look at you anything to justify your existence" . I left it at that clearly upset, i carried on cleaning and tidying around he followed me and said he was only joking and huffed and puffed. I stayed quiet as I could feel tears and didn't want to cry in front of dd. He then kept bringing dd to me and saying "oh look mummys ignoring me, mummys mad" several times. I explained I wasn't ignoring him and was carrying on tidying trying not to get into an argument. He half apologised about 10 minutes later "if he upset me".

Maybe I'm overreacting. I already struggle with self worth and that comment made me feel like I was worthless and had no use. Aibu, shall I just get over it?

Rinoachicken, would you say 'In a minute' to a colleague at work when told you had placed something in a place that interfered with health and safety, or indeed would you casually drop something on the floor or on a work area at work the way you might at home?

You are saying 'In a minute' in someone else's workplace. You are saying it to the person who is de facto in charge of that workplace, the person you might even call the manager of that workplace.

It's like he never gives me chance to do it my way, it's not fast enough for him or done his way therefore is not good enough. Now to me that is emotional abuse as well.
Well yeah.
He spends all day dealing with small children. This is enough to drive a lot of people nuts. Frustration levels can get very high. They are unreasonable and irrational and messy. You might or might not get a chance to go to the loo all afternoon. You certainly don't get a chance to finish a thought. Then you - a grown adult - swan in and drop something on the floor.

The hell is what you described emotional abuse. I have lived with emotional abuse and so have many women on this thread.

Treat your H like the professional homemaker that he is, and show some respect for his work by respecting his workplace.

OP, I think your H resents the fact that you are at home. I think he is feeling terribly sorry for himself, poor man, having to shoulder the burden and imagines you sitting on the couch watching trash tv and stuffing your face with bonbons. I don't think he appreciates you.