AIBU to not let MIL

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Look after DD overnight? She asks constantly, has even "jokingly" told her other GC they can't stay over until DD has. She's 4 months old-I'm not ready to leave her, and even if I was ready I'd want it to be with my mum or sister first because DD sees them more often.
I get constant pressure to leave her and they tell me that i "need to do it soon before she gets too used" to being with me all the time. So AIBU?

Crappy that the other GCs are being dragged into her rants... and making that threat about not having them over till their cousin has had her turn is definitely a rant. To children. To children who can't fulfil her demand! Maybe you could concentrate on that aspect of her behaviour, because SIL and her DC will be potential allies. If MIL tries to change the subject back to her demands, you can dismiss that briefly with an "it's too early. In the meantime, you want DD's cousins to get to know and love her, too, not resent her!" If she repeats her FB rants, comment that it sounds like favouritism and will alienate her own DD (SIL) and the other GC.

Pressuring you by making it clear the other children in the family get deprived of Grandma visits until you give MiL what she wants, guilting you, trying to shame you 'she'll get too used to you' - bloody hell, what a lovely person to entrust your baby to!

There was a poster a while ago who's MiL was pressuring them to hand over their baby alone overnight and when the poster explained that the baby would be distressed by being separated from her parents, MiL said something like 'that's all right, I'll enjoy comforting her'.

Utterly self centred. It's about 'I want a baby to play with' and to heck with how the baby will feel about it or how the mother will feel. You do not have to indulge this kind of selfish demand, particularly when it's being made this rudely. You do realise too that the first time you buckle and let her have dd overnight the campaign will then start for regular overnights?

they were told not until DD had stayed over. Dnephew commented that would be ages away and mil said "well you can't stay again into dgd has".

How childish can you get? my god, someone needs to tell her that she shouldnt be using the other grandchildren as weapons... bitch

You do realise too that the first time you buckle and let her have dd overnight the campaign will then start for regular overnights?

I do-she commented when I was pregnant that "the baby might as well stay at our house the days we have her when you're back at work"- she already had it all planned before I'd even had her.

What did you say to that? Sounds like she already thinks she is your work childcare??

I think I must be wired up differently because I couldn't wait for our DC to sleep out overnight . In my defence we had three DC very close together and I spent about three years in state of either zombie or shellshock, so I saw an overnighter as a blessed relief.

If you don't feel comfortable though then she needs to stop badgering you about it.

I just told her I didn't know what I was doing about work. We haven't even discussed childcare yet-She's just assumed she'll be having her for at least a day (not sure how she plans on fitting it into her ft job though!)

Champagneformyrealfriends what a nasty cow your MIL is

When my 3rd baby was a few months old AND sleeping though my MIL insisted laid down the law that she was taking my older 2 DSs (4 & 2) to the beach, then it turned out she was keeping them overnight.. what a night!! I couldn't sleep a wink kept imagining all sorts and swore it would never happen again!

She never took any of our DC anywhere again, mind you we've been NC now for years (psycho bitch abandoned her own kids when they were young, then thought she could come in and take over ours especially our oldest).

On the other hand FIL and his wife have never had our kids stay overnight, even though they have a DC the same age. They never offered and we never asked, even though I trust them completely but just simply because we never needed too.
My own DM, FIL or friends stayed with our kids in our own home when I was in labour.

Just because you eventually allow your DD to sleep over at your DMs or DSs it does not mean you have to allow it to happen with your MIL.. just stick to your guns and don't make the same mistake I did that day/night!
Also if they mention again that you have to leave her anyway to go back to work just say that's even more reason to keep her with you at night time

Just for the record all my DSs have stayed at Beaver/Cub/Scout camps with no problems at all even though DH and I are leaders and do most camps if we're not there they still have no problems staying or at friend's houses for sleepovers!

Enjoy your time with your little DD, time really does go too fast

Wow happy your mil sounds dreadful-I bet you were worried sick when you realised they weren't coming back until the following day
I do want DD to have sleepovers etc when she's older but I just don't feel
ready to pack her off yet, and certainly not just because mil says I should.

I know if we want her to stay at my parents she'll have to stay at MIL's house too though-I just want to feel more comfortable with leaving her knowing that she won't be kept in her routine while she is there.

No. Just because you allow DD to stay with your parents, does not give MIL a right to have your DD overnight. Your DD, you decide if and when and who she has sleepovers with.

As others have said ignore your mil and I would just tell her straight. It won't get any better unless you start sticking up for yourself and telling her dd won't be staying overnight any time soon.

My son is 3 beginning of September and he has never stayed anywhere overnight although he is comfortable being left during day with various family members. I have never felt the need for him to sleep out and he is not the best sleeper.