Need to know if AIBU. Because I feel a bit like murdering my DH at the moment!
I was bathing DD earlier and doing bedtime. Asked DH to pick up the delicates laundry pile from the bedroom and put it in the machine (this in itself pisses me off because he would never have thought to do it himself). Specifically asked him to put it on a wool wash and use the delicate detergent because it had DD's cashmere shrug in it, which is technically hand wash only but is ok if washed carefully.
This he managed to do. Great.
He also managed to somehow get one of my underwired bras in there with the clip unfastened. Shrug is now ruined with a massive hole in the cuff. I haven't checked my work dresses yet which were also in there. Can't face it.
DD doesn't have very many 'fancy' clothes, what with being 3, most of it is from supermarkets. But I loved this shrug and it was expensive for us (£40). I've looked after it carefully and it would have fit her for another year at least.
I am cross. I think normal grown ups give laundry a cursory check as it goes in the machine, especially when dealing with delicate fabrics, for exactly this sort of eventuality.
He thinks that is an unreasonable thing to expect and doesn't see why he should have thought to check the clothes, hence not his fault.
I have to check every bloody thing that goes in the machine because he never empties his pockets and our stuff gets covered in tissue fluff or we have coins battering round the drum while it washes.
So, AIBU or is he?
(This is pretty trivial, obviously, and not the end of the world, just one more thing on a long list of other things like this I guess).
AIBU?
AIBU about DH and the laundry
Cheby · 17/07/2016 21:08
Never even heard of fastening bras to wash them! I would have thought they would come undone. I put mine in mesh bags for washing.
£40 shrug for a 3yr old 
None of this is his fault. It sounds like the shrug should never have been put in the washing machine in the first place - you should hand wash it.
Thanks for the responses everyone.
I see I haven't been clear about the bra. It shouldn't have been in the laundry in the first place. It's underwired as well and definitely not ok to be in with delicate fabrics.
It's not clear how it got in the pile in the first place. Quite possible either one of us did it; me when I put it down earlier or him 'helpfully' collecting it into the pile. It's also fairly possible that DD moved it. Of course neither of us thinks we did it.
I wouldn't have expected him to know to fasten the bra, i put my bras on a wash together with nothing else and I do it myself, don't expect him to know the ins and outs of washing them. I think if I had asked him to wash a bra I would have explained about the hooks.
I think bra gate will have to get chalked down to experience, I accept I am probably over reacting. I'm just fed up of having to walk him through the basics when we are both grown adults. He absolutely does pull his weight with the house stuff and childcare, it's just that he needs telling with everything, so I carry the weight of organising it all. It gets tiring, mentally.
Anyway, DH has just dealt with a dead mouse in the hall (thank you cats) so he has redeemed himself somewhat.
My life is stress free because I wear stretchy bra tops without a fastener. 
Also, my DH doesn't do laundry. He actually phoned me at work once to ask how to use the washing machine, when he desperately needed a certain item to take away with him the next day.
Did I miss the point of the thread? I think perhaps I did. 
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