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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are we really disgusting?

411 replies

TransformersRobotsInDaSky · 17/07/2016 17:22

I love to have deep, hot baths and DH and DS do too. To enable us to have them really deep and not feel too bad about wasting water, we share the water, one going in after the other (or sometimes one of us shares with DS). I happened to mention this to my DSis who thinks its absolutely disgusting.

Obviously if I'm shaving then I'll go in last or if anyone's particularly dirty they go to the back of the queue, but this is normal behaviour isn't it? Does everyone else share bath water or AIBU to share bath water with my family?

OP posts:
MerchantofVenice · 19/07/2016 19:41

Somebody said something sensible a while back (can't remember who but it certainly wasn't polly pocket or whatever). Basically, we all have our 'we' things, and they're not always consistent. So someone might throw a fit at using their husband's towel, but think it's fine not kiss the dog.

What's not really fine is going 'ew, gross' to something perfectly mainstream and then quoting a load of pseudo-science to 'back you up'. We all know that those apparently terrifying numbers of bacteria mean nothing. David Mitchell did a little sketch about this precise species of bullshit a while ago. It was quite amusing. He'd have a field day with some of the hysterics on here!

I think we all know, really, that if we're washing and doing laundry, and, crucially, not smearing shit everywhere, it's probably fine. Oh, and if you have all this shit caked on your arse when you get in the bath, you probably need to learn how to wipe...

Just because something makes you feel weird, it doesn't follow that it is categorically, scientifically 'disgusting'. Grow up!

MerchantofVenice · 19/07/2016 19:52

  • 'ew things' not 'we things'

  • 'to kiss the dog' not 'not kiss the dog'

chubbylover78 · 19/07/2016 20:06

We do it as we don't have a shower. My dp used it first as he's at work early, then me and then Ds. I can't understand why you would need to run a fresh bath for each person, such a waste of time,water and money.

Lweji · 19/07/2016 21:37

Shower adapter, curtains, and maybe some extra wall tiles.

I don't understand how people don't have a shower.

MerchantofVenice · 19/07/2016 21:47

Surely there could be any number of reasons why people don't have a shower - you don't know their exact bathroom layout or plumbing!

Are you really unable to understand why everyone doesn't own all the same stuff that you do?

HuskyLover1 · 19/07/2016 21:48

Well, we just bought a hot tub, that takes 6 people. Is that disgusting? It's just the same as sharing a bath, surely?

Costacoffeeplease · 19/07/2016 21:57

Not if you regularly check the ph and bromine levels - no

Jodie1982 · 19/07/2016 23:40

Eurh no way. My fella has a proper hairy bum so wouldn't want his bum nuggets bobbing about in my bath!

Flashbangandgone · 20/07/2016 00:28

Bromine? Chlorine is what seems to be on offer to disinfect ours. I suppose they're from the same group, but i thought bromine was used to reduc libido?

cariboo · 20/07/2016 04:11

What's wrong with a quick shower?Hmm

hastheworldgonemad · 20/07/2016 05:45

Can't sleep due to the heat. Just some background info. Grin

I like a deep bubbly bath too op but I like my own water. I think my dds would literally faint if I suggested we share bath water.Grin

However it's not disgusting it's how you do things as a family and that's fine.

My dog is on my bed now cuddled up. Some on here would be horrified.

Each to own.

hastheworldgonemad · 20/07/2016 05:46

Nothing wrong with a quick shower unless you don't have a shower. Hmm

cariboo · 20/07/2016 14:36

Personally, I'd rather bathe using a flannel, soap and a basin of water than try to get "clean" in someone else's bath water.

Costacoffeeplease · 20/07/2016 19:10

Bromide is the libido suppressant

Upthetree100 · 20/07/2016 19:17

I can't believe this debate is still ongoing. I would have thought that the overwhelming majority of responses would be that it's disgustingly disgusting and that would be the end of that.

MerchantofVenice · 20/07/2016 21:01

Well, upthetree, two things. Firstly, if the debate is too long and tedious for you, you know what to do...

Secondly, have you actually read any of the points raised, or do you feel that you saying 'That's the end of that' should effectively end all discussion and change everyone's mind? Ffs

Upthetree100 · 20/07/2016 21:20
  1. no I don't 'know what to do' I will do as I please thank you very much
  2. I didn't say 'that's the end of that'
  3. you clearly don't understand my point
  4. maybe you should read and understand the post before you make assumptions and attack
  5. how's the weather up there on your high horse?
MerchantofVenice · 20/07/2016 21:28

Yeah, I don't get your point because it's so complex...

I, amazingly, did get your point. I was extrapolating from said 'point'.

But have you read any of the discussion? Because if you had you'd have seen that it wasn't just as simple as everyone going 'ooh yucky' and that being the end of it.

Get it?

Upthetree100 · 20/07/2016 21:49

Well what can I say I'm a complex creature Grin

yes I know, I understand what was ACTUALLY said, notwithstanding the complex ideas and big words, since I read the same thread as you.

I was merely expressing my surprise at the direction the thread took, I clearly and wrongly assumed it was a cut and dried argument.

Anyway, lowest form of wit anyone?

MerchantofVenice · 20/07/2016 22:09

Ok.

But what I don't get is why anyone would just assume it was a cut and dried issue. Why do so many people assume their way is the one and only way?

Personally, I don't do a lot of bath-sharing. But it really, really bugs me when people get all snotty about this sort of thing.

Surely we know that people are weird and squeamish about different things?

Most people bathe their small children together. It's not horrifying. But somehow two adults sharing is 'disgusting, even though adults are likely to be less filthy?

Just don't like the sneery 'I'm so clean and special' attitudes.

TimeforaNNChange · 20/07/2016 22:18

To those who bath in fresh water, I ask - why is sitting/washing in your own dirty water ok, but not someone else's?

I don't bath to get clean. I share a bath with DH, or enjoy one myself, for recreation but I certainly don't consider it part of my cleaning/hygiene routine !

Canyouforgiveher · 20/07/2016 22:23

why is sitting/washing in your own dirty water ok, but not someone else's?

Because my own dirt sits on my own skin too. I don't care what anyone else does but I wouldn't share bathwater (unless it was a recreational bath with dh). I don't like getting into hot tubs with strangers either.

I think it is one of those "agree to disagree" issues. I don't share a cup or drink from the same bottle as my dh - and I share all manner of bodily fluids with him regularly. It isn't logical, it is just one of those things for me. I was the same as a kid - wouldn't eat my ice cream if my mum took a lick. My kids are different - they don't care.

Upthetree100 · 20/07/2016 22:43

It's not snotty and sneery to genuinely assume most people would agree that wallowing in someone else's dirty bath water, then not draining it and rinsing in an empty bath in order to 'save' for another person, for the purposes of cleaning your body is a pointless exercise.
However, your posts are far from snotty and sneery. The irony.

And as for what pp's have said, the OP is not referring to recreational soaks with the dp. The OP refers to baths for the purposes of cleaning. One after the other, not simultaneously.

MerchantofVenice · 20/07/2016 23:09

It is snotty and sneers to assume what you've assumed. It's also illogical in that it makes no difference if it's one person after the other or both simultaneously.

Most people bathe their small children together (unless they have loads, presumably). It would make little difference if they bathed them one after the other in the same water. It's still sharing water.

I am prepared to admit that it is less sanitary to share water. Yes. But not disgusting ffs. One really grubby, large person might well have as much dirt on them as two skinny, relatively clean people. It's a sliding scale, isn't it? There isn't one magical point where sitting in a tub of water suddenly switches from 'legitimate cleaning experience' to 'DISGUSTING FILTH FEST'. If baths are ok, then they don't suddenly become OMG TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE I'M GOING TO VOMIT through the addition if one similarly hygienic adult.

It's just childish to get all judgey and squeamish about it. By all means have your own, personal feelings about it, but don't march about calling people disgusting and affecting not to understand that people do things differently.

MerchantofVenice · 20/07/2016 23:16

Oh and upyourowntree or whatever you're called - I think you were implying that my posts were sneery. What you're failing to understand is that you, and all the 'ugh, I would never do such a disgusting thing' brigade are actually starting from a very judgemental and snotty position. Any snottiness on my part is in reaction to that. And if you can't see that, then, umm, I can't help you understand.

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