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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is too much for just a 14th birthday?

77 replies

Jenny2468 · 15/07/2016 20:43

(Sorry it's a long one)
So my daughter is 14 and she has been invited to a party, four of her friends have birthdays near each other so they are having it jointly. Now, this has been going on for weeks, yet it will happen in over a month from now, with the four birthday girls acting like it is the biggest event on Earth.
Today, she got a letter from one of them at school:

You have been invited to our birthday party, it is at (time) and (place) there is a dress code, formal wear, mainly skin-tight dresses. You must pay for your own meal and bring money for the arcade, we will buy you one milkshake.
If you don't come in nice clothes, have messy hair, bring us cheap presents, annoy us before or during the party or have no presents for all of us, we will send you home on the bus.
Please sign this sheet and give to us.

Luckily my daughter is thick skinned, as I think this can be upsetting for some children. But my daughter found it funny.
The restaurant is £35, then there's 4 presents (that can't be cheap apparently) then she needs to buy a skin-tight dress. She has decided she won't go.

Am I overreacting in thinking it is so extreme, or do most kids do this at this age?

OP posts:
Artandco · 15/07/2016 20:46

Hahaha wtf

MrsJaxTeller · 15/07/2016 20:47

This is a wind up right?

Namechangenurseryconcerns · 15/07/2016 20:48

I'm with your daughter in finding it funny! Are they bright girls writing it in a tongue in cheek way or are they really that vacuous?!

Original poster
Jenny2468 · 15/07/2016 20:52

I think they are vacous, I have met some of them a few times and they come across like that.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 15/07/2016 20:53

My DD is 14yo.
I'd hope it was some kind of "In Joke" between them.
Or they can pi** right off.

Skin tight indeed. Won't need much money for food then, one breaded mushroom would have you unable to do your zip up.

Justasjolly · 15/07/2016 20:57

Do you know their parents? I'd be tempted to RSVP to their mums.

kurlique · 15/07/2016 20:59

My DD (nearly 14) had the same sort of reaction... Snorted with laughter and then said Well I wouldn't go! If she had sent out something like that however I would be mortified (she wouldn't though... She is very generous for starters, or should that be too generous??) and then I would bollock her to high heaven for being so crass and insensitive... I suspect it might well end up being a Party of 4!!

littlerabbitface · 15/07/2016 21:00

Well don't they sound delightful Grin

VoldemortsNipple · 15/07/2016 21:01

Is does sound rude but it might just be a tongue in cheek joke. Best to let your daughter deal with it how she seems fit. I'm sure she and her friends would be quick to pull them up if its serious.

At £35+ a head, I can't see many people going, and wouldn't be surprised if the kids who decline choose to do something else that day instead.

Original poster
Jenny2468 · 15/07/2016 21:02

Unfortunately, I don't know their parents so can't say anything to them. My DD is sure that they will all go, but who knows!

OP posts:
Petal40 · 15/07/2016 21:08

What lovely young ladies we are raising in this strange world of ours

Okay377 · 15/07/2016 21:12

It sounds like teenagers having a laugh to me...buy us cheap presents: get us each something from the pound shop but dress up and have fun.

It could possibly be cliquey if people don't find it funny. How does your daughter feel about it? If she found it funny it sounds as if she'll go and have a good time.

JustHereForThePooStories · 15/07/2016 21:12

You should be proud of your daughter. Sounds like she knows her own mind.

CaptainCrunch · 15/07/2016 21:15

Your DD is awesome. Just ran this by 15 year old ds and his response was "get fucked".

Original poster
Jenny2468 · 15/07/2016 21:16

My DD says thanks!
These girls are being deadly serious! On her socil media accounts, she is getting messages from all of them so they don't wear the same dress!
She says she doesn't want to go out with people like this anyway.

OP posts:
CaptainCrunch · 15/07/2016 21:18

Tell dd she's the mutt's nuts from my ds.

greathat · 15/07/2016 21:19

I teach teenage girls. Sadly this sounds about right for a chunk of em

Ilovewillow · 15/07/2016 21:19

Your daughter is obviously sane and pretty amazing! Hopefully they are joking but if not they are clearly deluded and fairly ridiculous!

elQuintoConyo · 15/07/2016 21:26

Crikey. Just crikey.

Sound like some students I have. Sad yo see there are more like them.

Your dd, however, sounds ACE op Grin

PerspicaciaTick · 15/07/2016 21:26

Sounds about right - it seems like teenagers haven't changed much in the last 30 years.

ilovesooty · 15/07/2016 21:27

They sound like that vacuous friendship group in "Muriel's Wedding" Grin

Zippidydoodah · 15/07/2016 21:29

I hope my daughters are as thick skinned and sure of themselves as yours! I also hope the letter is a joke.......Confused

CocktailQueen · 15/07/2016 21:32

Okkay377 - they didn't want cheap presents...

They sound vile and entitled little madams. I would be mortified if Dd did this.

CoolCarrie · 15/07/2016 21:33

Spot on with 'Muriel's Wedding'! Thats just what came to my mind as well!
Your daughter is quite right to give it a miss, they sound like a bunch of bitches. Hope only the 4 of them turn up, it wouls serve them right.

CocktailQueen · 15/07/2016 21:33

And that's not a party! That's the girls wanting presents and for their friends to buy their own meals. Crap.