AIBU to think this is too much for just a 14th birthday?

[Jenny2468]

(Sorry it's a long one)
So my daughter is 14 and she has been invited to a party, four of her friends have birthdays near each other so they are having it jointly. Now, this has been going on for weeks, yet it will happen in over a month from now, with the four birthday girls acting like it is the biggest event on Earth.
Today, she got a letter from one of them at school:

You have been invited to our birthday party, it is at (time) and (place) there is a dress code, formal wear, mainly skin-tight dresses. You must pay for your own meal and bring money for the arcade, we will buy you one milkshake.
If you don't come in nice clothes, have messy hair, bring us cheap presents, annoy us before or during the party or have no presents for all of us, we will send you home on the bus.
Please sign this sheet and give to us.

Luckily my daughter is thick skinned, as I think this can be upsetting for some children. But my daughter found it funny.
The restaurant is £35, then there's 4 presents (that can't be cheap apparently) then she needs to buy a skin-tight dress. She has decided she won't go.

Am I overreacting in thinking it is so extreme, or do most kids do this at this age?

yes I do know the area very well I grew up 3 miles from there so mis-spent a fair amount of my teen years there).

How long ago were those teen years?

I don't get the arcade thing at all.
14yo DD would think it was a waste of her afternoon.
(Are they planning to sneak vapes behind the bike shed? What's special about an arcade?? Don't most kids have better games at home?? Only the 2-person motorbike vid-games are really good, and those tend to be dominated by 8yo boys)
A nice disco as excuse to tart up & flirt with boys/whoever: that would appeal to DD's set.
4 girls hosting the party: they could easily afford a slap bang fun disco with nice food, by pooling the cost.

Or a Pokemon hunting race followed by a meal at Pizza Express.