Or is my neighbour being ridiculous?!

[Lilianna123]

Always got on really well with our neighbours. They are very different to us but this has never been an issue. Have keys to eachothers houses for when we are away etc.

Woke up this morning to find a note through the letterbox from them, they are saying that our cat 'torments' and 'teases' their dog, by sitting our side of the fence and looking into their garden. They have also accused our cat of eating their hazelnuts off their trees. Now this could be our cat, but could more than likely be the squirrels we tend to have visit?!

Anyway, they are requesting we now try to keep our cat as an indoor cat, as it's not 'fair' on their dog and want us to replace their hazlenut trees next year. Am I being a unreasonable or are they just being completely bonkers?!

That's why cats rule, always. Head games galore just with a glance. The cat is probably eating the nuts but just to mess with all you heads!

Oh this is funny! I've hgad cats that love curry, would dig claws into you to get ylou to spill wine for them, nick anything they can get claws / teeth into (inc!luring neighbour's Sunday roast) and any number of woodland critter or bird, but never nuts. The squirrels in the trees at the back are a different story. And current cats both sit & torment next door's dogs - who used to bark until they realised ignoring the cats was more fun. In all cases, its been "chuck water at them if they annoy you' and even roast-dinner-gate was resolved with wine and much hilarity (& judicious placement of chilli & asafoeditda soaked chicken to prevent recurrence)

The ndn are squirrel-poo. Get your keys back!

Reply with "Probably not, no."
Maybe add "Regards" - just to really drive the point home. No one can argue with "Regards".

Has all kicked off again this afternoon, they are now saying my cat has been shitting in their vegetable patch which it probably has!! They asked DH to go round and shovel up the shit but by the time he had got home from work the shit had been left to bake in the boiling hot sun all day. It made me grin

They'll have you round every day shovelling shit. It could be from any other cat!

reminds me of my dickhead neighbour. Came hammering at my door, shouting that my cat was shitting in the child's sandpit and "you have DESTROYED, DESTROYED my child's summer!" I pointed out that he also has a cat. "My cat wouldn't do that! It must be YOURS!"

Insist on a DNA analysis of each individual turd before you take the shovel round.

Honestly I'd be changing the locks. This will escalate and before you it know they'll be using the keys to let themselves in when you're next away, do a massive poo in your downstairs loo and leave all the doors open.

If you're happy to piss them off then just point out cats are free to roam and that's that. If they want you to collect the poop then they'll have to provide date stamped photographs of your cat doing each and every individual shite, otherwise it could be any old moggy. But in the interests of maintaining good relations and ensuring they don't poison Cool Hand Kitty I suppose it might be best to go along with it. Unless it's a really runny one.

Recently retired men are the worst. Their worlds suddenly get much smaller and they start to fixate on things.

I never knew hazelnuts grew on trees

You thought they grew in Sainsburys ?

Very true about recently retired men .

Sausage bless you. Where did you think they came from?

I really never thought about it but I think maybe I thought from the ground like a potato? I'm a twat

This has really cheered me up after a truly shitty day

Could you point out to them that the best way to stop the neighbours' cats shitting in their garden is to have a cat themselves?

Did you ever get your keys back?