Or is my neighbour being ridiculous?!

[Lilianna123]

Always got on really well with our neighbours. They are very different to us but this has never been an issue. Have keys to eachothers houses for when we are away etc.

Woke up this morning to find a note through the letterbox from them, they are saying that our cat 'torments' and 'teases' their dog, by sitting our side of the fence and looking into their garden. They have also accused our cat of eating their hazelnuts off their trees. Now this could be our cat, but could more than likely be the squirrels we tend to have visit?!

Anyway, they are requesting we now try to keep our cat as an indoor cat, as it's not 'fair' on their dog and want us to replace their hazlenut trees next year. Am I being a unreasonable or are they just being completely bonkers?!

tell them that their dog shouldn't be out there at nutting time because I know a dog who had to have a major operation from eating fallen nuts from a tree in their garden.

Idiot dog.

still not as dim as your neighbours ;-)

Another vote for batshit crazy.

anyway, cats are carnivorous. why would a carnivore eat nuts??

Our neighbour's cat took particular delight in sitting by the broken panel of fencing bw the gardens and watching our dog go ballistic on the other side.

It would go "bark, bark, bark, bark - dog sticks snout into gap in the fence to try and get at cat, cat casually rakes dog's nose with it's claws, dog withdraws snout - bark, bark, bark, bark." And repeat for years.

Our dog was lovely but not noted for his brains.

Well now I have a problem, my cat winds up my dog in my garden. She sits on my fence and calls him squitty short arse (he's a basset). Now who do I complain to? Do I pen a passive aggressive note to myself? On the plus side now I know not to buy any hazelnut trees, thought I'd be ok as due to having a dog I'm a squirrel free zone, but now I know cats are mad for 'nuts 'ol hazelnuts' I shall save my money, or perhaps get the cat to buy them out of her own university education fund.

Could you put up some sort of screening so that the cat can't sit on the fence? Then tell to get real about the nuts. Part compromise?

Our neighbour's cat used to torment my friend's dog by sitting on the doorstep so the dog could see him through the window. He'd bark and bark until my friend made to open the door when he'd squeal and run and hide. Nobody dog, cat or human messed with Max Your neighbours are nuts OP

Its the squirrels... they are bastards I tell ya!!!
My cousins had a dog and every day a squirrel used to stand on the tree in their back garden and drop nuts down on top of the dog to make him go crazy. This went on for some time. Then one day the dog stopped reacting to the squirrel. Day by day the squirrel got bolder and bolder in his attempts to annoy the dog and one day, he was feeling so brave he came in reach of the dog and... CHOMP! No more squirrel and one very smug mutt!

The squirrels eat all the plums off our tree. Can I send a note to the neighbours blaming their cats and demanding a new plum tree?

Also one of their cats keeps coming in my house and sitting in the bathroom. I shall send them a water bill as it's clearly having a bath while I'm out!

Moonface - chapatis

Curry, Joffery!? I had a beautiful cat made of pure evil and madness as a teenager. Any sound associated with a packet of crisps or pringles would flip the crazy switch in her mind and she would stop at nothing to Get. Those. Crisps. I still have a scar from when she turned ninja and took a flying leap and sunk every tooth and claw into my leg as I opened a packet of salt and vinegar once. It worked, I dropped the crisps. She was otherwise a friendly and rather timid thing...

OP, I agree, you should buy the neighbours a bag of nuts to express your sympathy for the SQUIRRELS stealing their nuts (though they sound like they have nuts enough).

Anyone remember the Rhubarb & Custard? Perhaps they've got a box set and think it's a documentary...?

Ask them of a photograph or video of your cat eating the hazelnuts.

They are totally insane.

Send them some dissected poo cat in a tupperware box with a note saying - I've looked and I can't find any evidence of nuts, she only eats chicken and adores dogs.

Whenever we see the neighbour's cat in our garden, we deliberately let our dog out to chase him away. . Usually the cats just stick to looking down imperiously upon our dog from the safety of the neighbour's shed though. The dog will bark once or twice at them, then just mooch around the garden. None of them seem to be too emotionally traumatised by the arrangement.

Maybe the OP could suggest therapy for the dog, to help overcome his issues? And to also sternly remind the cat that it's a carnivore, and to leave the nuts alone (whether I mean the hazlenuts or the neighbours is up for debate!)

The squirrels eat all the plums off our tree. Can I send a note to the neighbours blaming their cats and demanding a new plum tree?

Well, if the cat did a better job of hunting the squirrels...

Hahahaha they are bonkers

e1y1 best post ever

Brilliant . I needed some light relief. I would write a note back:

Dearest Neighbours

Thank you for your kind note. As a result I have conducted considerable research, and commissioned an enquiry into whether your theories are reasonable. Firstly, I conducted an experiment with the cat. I starved her overnight and then gave her hazelnuts for breakfast but she wouldn't eat them. I don't think she's stealing the nuts, but I have seen some other suspects squirreling them away. I suggest you get CCTV to catch the real culprits.

With regard to the cat tormenting the dog, I conducted an independent enquiry on the internet which unanimously concluded that cats do tend to torment all creatures (even other cats). However the enquiry concluded that it would be unreasonable to make the cat stay inside for being a cat.

I hope this response is satisfactory, but if not you may appeal to the European Court of Human (and Dog) Rights.

Yours sincerely

Yes - ask for photographic proof of cat eating nuts! Go all Miss Marple on them.

As for them wanting tree replacements... I don't get that at all.

I think you should aim to get your keys back at this meeting - don't give them a chance to copy them or do mad things. Say you've got a relative staying next week and you've lost your spare set of keys so you need them back - get that out of the way first before you start on Nutgate!

So weird. Tell them cat has a but allergy so it couldn't possibly be him/her eating them, and that your cat has been upset by their dog so could they please keep him/her as an inside dog. And yes, get your keys back!

Nut allergy, not but allergy.

Batty! Haven't seen Batty for years!

Oh dear, this is hilarious! We had many many cats when I was growing up, some ate all manner of odd things, none ever ate nuts. PMSL that they think it is your cat rather than the more obvious bloody squirrels!

Suggest they keep their dog in as it's upsetting your cats view of their garden.

My neighbours once woke me up early on a Saturday morning to ask me to 'stop my cat catching mice and leaving them for their dog, as they were trying to turn it vegetarian'. Don't know exactly what they expected me to do but the poor bleeding thing was starving to death rather than eat the crap they'd suddenly changed it on to.

Cats are obligate carnivores. Eating plants makes them sick.

.

Your neighbour's mad!