AIBU to think he's bumped her off?

[Thunderwing]

He probably hasn’t (a bit tongue in cheek)

I live in a block of flats, many of which are rented properties so the turnover of tenants can be quite high. About a year ago a middle aged couple move in, did the usual introductions blah blah blah. The woman (henceforth known as ‘the victim’) is a foreign lady from outwith the EU. (Don’t want to say which country in case it outs me or her, but think from the other side of the world with relatively good spoken English). The victim was very talkative, friendly and quite bubbly.

The man (henceforth known as ‘the perpetrator’) was quite closed off in comparison, not really giving much away and very reserved. That’s fine, some people are like that. Plus I caught them on moving day which I know can be very stressful.

We were exchanging pleasantries and observations about the area, when the victim mentioned something about one of the perpetrator’s family members. He shut her down immediately with “We don’t talk about that”, and gave her the evil eye, she looks totally abashed and they make their excuses to finish our chat. I make up my mind at this point he’s a bit of a dick.

Fast forward several months, I’ve barely seen hide nor hair of the victim, but the smells coming from her flat suggest she’s a great cook. The perpetrator on the other hand, I see quite a bit, he has never said more than a dozen words to me in this time.

More recently, about six weeks ago, I bump into him on the stairs. He tells me that the victim is back in her own country so that’s why I won’t have seen her for some time but that she’s flying back home tomorrow and he can’t wait to see her. Fair enough methinks, I wondered why she hadn’t been cooking so much. Sure enough the next day there are ‘Welcome Home’ banners on their door. Aww, maybe he’s not a complete dick. The lovely smells start coming back into the hall within days.

Yesterday, I bump into him again. He tells me that the victim is not yet back from her home country. She’s been away for 2 months, she’s having problems getting a visa, he may well have to go out to her country himself…..(and yes, the smell of cooking is gone again) When I told my DH the story he said ‘yeah, he’s killed her, he looks the sort’.

I can’t get my head around the fact that she was coming home ‘the next day’ and then all of a sudden she’s stuck because she can’t get a visa. Surely they would have known that the day before she’s booked on a flight?

Talk some sense into me good people of mumsnet….

Every few weeks, he hires an escort to batch cook for him.

I don't know the answer but I sense there is a book in you somewhere yet to be written

I'm very intrigued by this & posting to find out!
Perhaps she batch cooked him some food before she left & that's what you could smell after her alleged return??

I hope all is well but if you're really genuinely worried you should be calling the police..

The smell of copper, hmmm, would it help smelling a copper bottomed saucepan? Just a suggestion

We jest but the reality is people do get bumped off. I'd inform the police of your concerns.

If you're really worried, got to the police and ask their advice. See if it it's possible to report her as a missing person.

And Google 'Helen Bailey' for further impetus. They've just found her remains in her back garden.

Don't forget, even Fred West, Dennis Nielsen and John Christie had neighbours. The worst that can happen is the police laugh at you dismiss it as not important.

She's probably left him & he's embarrassed!

I think, nay hope, this is a tongue in cheek thread having read it all.

Dennis Nielsen's flat was three doors down from my DS's flat. Several years later it was still up for rent hardly surprised no takers.

I imagine human flesh would smell rather fatty when cooked, bet he's using plenty of herbs etc to try and disguise the smell --
Just wondering if you can investigate his bin bags for boiled bones? Unless, of course, he has a fat dog 😕

P1nkp0ppy - fat dog, made me cry laughing.

As a 2nd year forensic psychology student I feel I am fully qualified to say, this reeks of abduction and/or foul play. I'm an anti social neighbour, and if I went out of my way to let you know where dp had disappeared to, you'd do well not to walk your dog in the local woods for a while.

If you would like to scare yourself shitless, just Google Colleen Stan and Natascha Kampusch :/

In all seriousness, I hope this doesn't end up in evidence :/

In all seriousness,

My DH & I are howling with laughter at this thread. Thank you so much for the black humour. Just what was needed today after all that has happened in France. Bless you all xx

Gripping stuff. I was half watching Agatha Raisin while reading this. Had to switch it off to give this my full attention. Your case is far more interesting! Keep us informed. Definitely sounds dodgy. And OT, you have a very witty and entertaining style of writing. The world needs a book from you.

AIBU to be worried that my mouth is watering?

Earthbound, your suggestion is my favourite

Unless of course, he has a fat dog

More, please!

If those delicious cooking smells turn bad then YANBU and should call the police . . . . Pronto

Intrigued to find out if the OP's stake out went well and obviously not just place marking

Op has been absent for some time.... should we notify the police? :/

Have you discovered anything OP? Or are you too busy wolfing down donuts??

OP where are you? Perhaps you are carrying out a thorough investigation.

Oh lord. Here we go again. Last time I got involved in one of these threads, OP disappeared and we were all left on a cliffhanger indefinitely! But I just can't help reading it!!!!