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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think he's bumped her off?

142 replies

Thunderwing · 14/07/2016 09:29

He probably hasn’t (a bit tongue in cheek)

I live in a block of flats, many of which are rented properties so the turnover of tenants can be quite high. About a year ago a middle aged couple move in, did the usual introductions blah blah blah. The woman (henceforth known as ‘the victim’) is a foreign lady from outwith the EU. (Don’t want to say which country in case it outs me or her, but think from the other side of the world with relatively good spoken English). The victim was very talkative, friendly and quite bubbly.

The man (henceforth known as ‘the perpetrator’) was quite closed off in comparison, not really giving much away and very reserved. That’s fine, some people are like that. Plus I caught them on moving day which I know can be very stressful.

We were exchanging pleasantries and observations about the area, when the victim mentioned something about one of the perpetrator’s family members. He shut her down immediately with “We don’t talk about that”, and gave her the evil eye, she looks totally abashed and they make their excuses to finish our chat. I make up my mind at this point he’s a bit of a dick.

Fast forward several months, I’ve barely seen hide nor hair of the victim, but the smells coming from her flat suggest she’s a great cook. The perpetrator on the other hand, I see quite a bit, he has never said more than a dozen words to me in this time.

More recently, about six weeks ago, I bump into him on the stairs. He tells me that the victim is back in her own country so that’s why I won’t have seen her for some time but that she’s flying back home tomorrow and he can’t wait to see her. Fair enough methinks, I wondered why she hadn’t been cooking so much. Sure enough the next day there are ‘Welcome Home’ banners on their door. Aww, maybe he’s not a complete dick. The lovely smells start coming back into the hall within days.

Yesterday, I bump into him again. He tells me that the victim is not yet back from her home country. She’s been away for 2 months, she’s having problems getting a visa, he may well have to go out to her country himself…..(and yes, the smell of cooking is gone again) When I told my DH the story he said ‘yeah, he’s killed her, he looks the sort’. Hmm Confused

I can’t get my head around the fact that she was coming home ‘the next day’ and then all of a sudden she’s stuck because she can’t get a visa. Surely they would have known that the day before she’s booked on a flight?

Talk some sense into me good people of mumsnet….

OP posts:
antiquechairs · 14/07/2016 12:57

Definitely time to call Miss Marple in.

Thunderwing · 14/07/2016 13:08

Slightly Blush at being described as witty, not something I've been called before, I'm feeling a tad under pressure now Grin

contemplates printing off thread to show eye-rolling husband that I am bloody funny dammit

OP posts:
Porcupinetree · 14/07/2016 14:37

Don't want to 'out' myself (and this isn't at all lighthearted sorry)...but a couple of weeks after we moved to our last address DM made remarks along the lines of "that man's house up the road has children's toys in garden but no children or mother...do you think something awful has happened?" I assumed that they had split up and she had taken kids etc my mum was sure he'd murdered them. Soon after they found the bodies in the garden.

hareinthemoon · 14/07/2016 14:51
Shock
SweetChickadee · 14/07/2016 14:55

..she only married the schmuck for a visa, which she's now got from her trip home.

She came home, cooked him a 'goodbye, thanks for all the lolz' dinner and left him?

Shock porcupine

Jooni · 14/07/2016 15:02

Ooh go on OP, get a ladder! We need to know.

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 14/07/2016 15:04

Perhaps he bulk cooked her after the murder and has frozen it in batches to thaw out and heat up late at night when you're not passing on your way in from work.

He may be a cannibalistic murderer, but that's no reason to presume he doesn't have a busy life and has time to slave away in the kitchen every day...

FionaThePrincess · 14/07/2016 15:12

Oh my god, this is right up my street. I've read crime novels so I consider myself an expert.

OP, you don't report any rotting body smells, nor any lingering smells of 'copper' (for those of you not in the police force or whom haven't read extensively as I have, blood smells like copper [knowledgeable]). Therefore, the most logical conclusion is that the perpetrator killed the victim at a location AWAY from your flats, cut her body into pieces and bagged the pieces.

I bet, if you carried out a search of his property, it wouldn't just be fish fingers you'd find in his freezer, if you know what I mean.

The delicious cooking smells, I fear could be a red herring in this case. Clearly, the perpetrator has read the thread "AIBU to tell you about my instant pot" and has invested in a pressure cooker as he misses the the victim's cooking skills.

I think you ought to call SOCOs in.

Been DYING to use SOCOs in a real life situation. It means scene of crime officers (I think).

Thunderwing · 14/07/2016 15:25

Porcupine Shock Shock Holy shitballs. I am so grateful we don't have a garden right now. I would have noticed if he had dug into the car park, heavy machinery would have been required.

Sheep, you are so right, I'm sure keeping up his façade is hungry work indeed!

Fiona, I feel you are my spirit animal. I have already surmised that the original crime scene is elsewhere - we live on the coast so I wonder if he could have set her adrift.....

I don't even know if they are/were/have ever been married. The perpetrator only ever describes by her name as in "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm 'Perpetrator' and this is 'Victim'. Never thought to look for a wedding ring, it's not something I do in general.

However I'm now gonna go full Columbo on his ass.

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 14/07/2016 15:26

You need to but some rats and let them scurry through attics and stairwells. Then complain to LL and say you will call the enviormental health people if he doesn't trace the rats nest. Say perpetrator is encouraging the rodents with cooking smells and you want perps flat deratted.
LL will then mosey along to perps abode and conduct search for rodents because he/ she won't want EH snirffing round in case they find the stash of coke in the building. LL will sniff a body and coke and report back to you as you've threatened to expose his wrong doings on Rogue LL's season 4 episode 7.
LL will think of a devious plan and give you a bung to keep quiet.
Said bung will be enough for you to escape to the sun for a bit until the matter is resolved by the bloke on the motor bike from rogue LLs.
Do not inform the Daily Fail as you may be asked to hold a deceased rodent by the tail for your sad face pic.

Ha. I must get on with some work but bbl

Lules · 14/07/2016 15:29

I do genuinely know someone who lived for a while above someone who murdered his wife. She realised he was very strange and was getting weirder and so wasn't massively surprised when he said that his wife had left him. She didn't think much of him re-doing the garden either. And then a couple of months later the police turned up...

WiMoChi · 14/07/2016 15:34

Duh! She's in prison for killing her mother in law! In fact if he didn't want to talk about his family and gave her the evil eye, then he probably set her up 🙀

FionaThePrincess · 14/07/2016 15:34

Fiona, I feel you are my spirit animal. I have already surmised that the original crime scene is elsewhere

I am impressed with your reasoning skills, Detective Inspector Thunderwing. I think you're right.

I think your next step is you need to get him to trust you and befriend him. Why don't you pop round with a recipe for Instant Pot beef and broccoli? (Or spaghetti bolognaise if that's the only thing you can cook?)

Do be careful though. Clearly he's a very dangerous man, but I think you're up to the task.

BengalCatMum · 14/07/2016 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueLeopard · 14/07/2016 15:36

"For fucks sake don't tell nosy neighbour I'm back from my holidays yet. Let me have a few days of peace and quiet in my own house before having to make small talk on the landing with her!"

Grin
BlueLeopard · 14/07/2016 15:41

DiseasesOfTheSheep

Perhaps he bulk cooked her after the murder and has frozen it in batches to thaw out and heat up late at night when you're not passing on your way in from work.

He may be a cannibalistic murderer, but that's no reason to presume he doesn't have a busy life and has time to slave away in the kitchen every day...

I can just imagine a thread in Food asking for slowcooker and batch cooking recipes and what organs are best for freezing. Grin

Thunderwing · 14/07/2016 15:42

Fiona I'm thinking of setting DH up with a wire and get him to speak to the perp.

The perpetrator knows I have a young snack size DC that I need to protect.

I love DH dearly but he is well insured.

Portia, I am looking forward to the inevitable escape to the sun. At least I'll be tanned for my Sad Daily Fail Face (TM).

OP posts:
Thunderwing · 14/07/2016 15:43

Blue I'm sure my other neighbours would concur Wink - but seriously, I've only seen victim twice. Ever. In a whole year.

OP posts:
BlueLeopard · 14/07/2016 15:46

Ah ok, so she's not avoiding you. Then I agree, you need to protect Snack from Perp. Take any steps necessary.

GloriaGaynor · 14/07/2016 15:52

The obvious thing to do is watch her husband to leave. Light a cigarette, run up and bang on the door shouting 'fire, emergency'. That should bring her out.

Just remember what happened at the end of Manhattan Murder Mystery though.

gabsdot · 14/07/2016 16:09

Why not knock on the door to borrow a cup of sugar and see what happens

Thunderwing · 14/07/2016 16:11

Just had a message from Amazon delivery service to say my parcel has been left with a neighbour. Confused

If you never hear from me again, tell them to check my neighbours freezer. I hope he doesn't serve me with peas. I hate peas.

OP posts:
GloriaGaynor · 14/07/2016 16:11

Because she won't come to the door for that. It would have to be an 'emergency'.

6demandingchildren · 14/07/2016 16:40

Can you knock on the door when he has gone out. If no answer put a folded bit of plain paper through their letterbox (so it doesn't look suspicious when you have a good look into the flat and smell for decompsition)

MiscellaneousAssortment · 14/07/2016 16:47

Wow, Amazon came to save you from my superb advice! Here was my plan:

  1. Borrow ladder
  2. Pretend to be window cleaner
  3. Go up ladder & peer into his flat
  4. Lose footing on ladder which falls to ground leaving you clinging to ledge
  5. Villain has to let you in and whilst he's getting you water you can scour rooms for clues
  6. Meanwhile I'll watch Rear Window and wait for your update
Grin