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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry at teacher who refuses DS water on long coach journey???

467 replies

Gizzle · 13/07/2016 21:16

DS came home very subdued and downcast after the annual school day trip to the seaside today. Turns out that he left his bag on the beach (not unusual, he's an 8yo boy after all) but luckily it was retrieved by a teacher. However, when he asked politely for the bag, she refused to give it to him for the entire duration of the return coach journey, even though it contained his water bottle and he was clearly very thirsty after a day on the beach. I'm not sure what kind of lesson she was hoping to teach him, but I would have thought that children of this age should be helped towards independence, and not punished into it. And refusing a thirsty child water? Is there ever a case for that?

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 14/07/2016 23:16

Most of the coach companies around our school have felt the need to implement the no food or drink rule due to them ending up in the past with coaches which have been trashed, vandalised, food smeared on them, etc etc.

A few students can cause a lot of inconvenience for a lot of others sadly.

I am a meanie teacher and walk back the bus dismissing them row by row and making sure everyone has collected all their belongings and not left any rubbish. It always amazes me how students feel it is not for them to pick up after themselves. (The rubbish I am talking about is magazines, bags, they no longer want)

eddiemairswife · 14/07/2016 23:18

Not quite sure where the elderly ladies come in. Those of us classed as elderly grew up long before this obsession with constantly drinking water became fashionable.

limitedperiodonly · 14/07/2016 23:31

Noodledoodledoo would you refuse to give a child in your care some water?

And just in case you missed it, his teacher knew that his water bottle was in his bag and that's what he wanted.

practy I talked about crisps so we should forget that because it's unfair and it seems to be confusing you.

The child only wanted some water. Would you give it to him?

If either of you would refuse it, can you explain why?

Witchend · 15/07/2016 00:01

And you also have the:
"I want my bag back."
"No, I've got it safe, you can have it back at the end of the journey."

"Miss, I need my water. I'm so thirsty... You have to give me a drink"

Teacher ignores knowing full well it's just a way of trying to get the bag back.

Noodledoodledoo · 15/07/2016 00:21

I would have made sure (if I knew coach company had that rule - it does change depending on distance) that they had all had a drink before boarding and reminded them of the rule. If a child was feeling poorly/sick that's a different case.

practy · 15/07/2016 00:23

Yes if water is not allowed on the coach, I would not have given him water.

Ditsy4 · 15/07/2016 06:17

limited
I never said I didn't like going!
It was in your comment of "a bit of sick" to say it is sometimes more than that. We had 22 being sick on one trip I was glad i didn't go on that one.

As for why am I going? Because I have been told to go. I don't chose.

However I love taking our kids on trips. Today's trip is a fun one but the rest of the year are educational and connected to our topic. It is hard work though. We have several with behavioural problems and that makes it tiring sometimes. There are several schools going and the public so will need to keep tabs on them every minute. No breaks or rest except for a wee. I will enjoy seeing their faces light up. Lots of our kids have never been out of the city except on school trips.well best be off to make my packed lunch and a spare for the kid/s that forget theirs. Egg sandwiches, fruit and homemade cake. Must not forget the water bottles. We will be having a drink and a wee before going. Bags and coats up and a drink when we get there. No doubt someone's mum (several) might be in to complain about something and if we are lucky one might thank us for taking their child for a super day out!

Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe · 15/07/2016 08:14

Ditsy have a great day - the kids will appreciate it. You're doing something that will give them a great boost at the end of the year.

Evergreen17 · 15/07/2016 08:20

OP if you already had made up your mind why did you post the question here? Hmm

Gwenhwyfar · 15/07/2016 08:24

"gwen well I've often wondered how exactly national express can actually check what people are bringing on. But my aspie head wouldn't let me rule break"

Naught, it's clear to me that National Express's ban on alcohol is to avoid drunken loutishness. If you're sipping your wine quietly and discreetly I don't see why anyone would have a problem with it (for adults obviously).

OhGodWhatTheHellNow · 15/07/2016 08:26

Grown ups in, say, factory jobs don't get to eat or drink outside their breaks which I believe legally can be four hours apart.

And if you're on a moving line you have to put your hand up to be relieved for the loo, the line doesn't stop. Yes, grown ups put up their hands, thousands of them every day to the pp who seemed to think this only applied to children.

LagunaBubbles · 15/07/2016 08:40

practy OP has said water was allowed though and other kids had water

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 15/07/2016 08:42

For gods sake, since when have human beings not been able to go two bloody hours without a drink?!

I honestly don't understand this new obsession with drinks and snacks, I see parents all the time obsessing that their child constantly carry a water bottle about, and whip out snacks every couple of hours too!

In the environment I work in, we can go several hours without a drink, we don't bloody die! And yes, before anyone asks, it is really warm.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 15/07/2016 08:44

And being 8 isn't an excuse, it actually makes it worse. An 8 year old should be perfectly capable of remembering his own bag and having a drink before getting on a bus. Keep passing it off as 'forgetful' and he'll never do anything for himself.

ScarletForYa · 15/07/2016 08:47

I'd be interested to know what the teacher says. I don't think it's ok to deny a child water.

NavyandWhite · 15/07/2016 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/07/2016 09:02

I would certainly be upset about it, but OTOH my consolation would be that maybe it would teach him to be a bit more careful with his belongings in future. Speaking from experience, I think it can take the odd incident where it really has a consequence for them, before they stop leaving bags, coats, swimming things, you name it, all over the place.

AgentPineapple · 15/07/2016 09:59

freakin have you never forgotten anything? I am, well a lot older than 8, and I still forget things from time to time... Children don't have the same concentration or priorities as adults do, so things that we consider to be important, they don't necessarily think they are

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2016 10:18

AgentPineapple sometimes I walk into another room and think: 'Now what did I come in here for?' Like you, I am considerably older than eight.

SpaceDinosaur · 15/07/2016 10:32

Shamelessly place marking for the OP's update after her chat with the teacher. (This should be interesting)

practy · 15/07/2016 10:36

Really!! Someone said adults at work never have to put up their hand to go to the loo. Some people have no idea what life is like in many poorly paid jobs.

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2016 11:21

There you go again getting all muddled up Practy.

I said that I don't have to put up my hand to go to toilet, not that some people never have to do it.

I can see the necessity for doing this in some jobs. But where it isn't necessary, it isn't right, is it?

Noodledoodledoo · 15/07/2016 12:22

Ironically as a teacher I also can't just go to the toilet when I like - I have to go at break or lunch time!

Some days even that doesn't happen!

jennielou75 · 15/07/2016 12:56

I love it when it gets to three thirty and I finally get to the loo and remember the last time I went was before I left my house at 7am!

teacherwith2kids · 15/07/2016 12:59

The funny thing is that I only work part time, and still only go to the toilet at 11.05, 1.15 and 3.30!