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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry at teacher who refuses DS water on long coach journey???

467 replies

Gizzle · 13/07/2016 21:16

DS came home very subdued and downcast after the annual school day trip to the seaside today. Turns out that he left his bag on the beach (not unusual, he's an 8yo boy after all) but luckily it was retrieved by a teacher. However, when he asked politely for the bag, she refused to give it to him for the entire duration of the return coach journey, even though it contained his water bottle and he was clearly very thirsty after a day on the beach. I'm not sure what kind of lesson she was hoping to teach him, but I would have thought that children of this age should be helped towards independence, and not punished into it. And refusing a thirsty child water? Is there ever a case for that?

OP posts:
teacherwith2kids · 15/07/2016 12:59

(I mean, on my days at home)

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2016 13:17

It's not ironic at all Noodle. You do one of those jobs were it isn't always possible to go to the loo when you want. I say not always because one of my teachers explained that because of his ulcer he'd sometimes have to run from the room to vomit. Looking back, I wonder if he had IBS but it was less embarrassing to say he needed to be sick to a classroom of 15 year olds. So if you were in charge of older children it might be possible for you to excuse yourself to the loo, or maybe safeguarding would say no. I accept that your toilet habits are never going to be as free and easy as mine. But those are the challenges of the job.

DailyMailEthicalFail · 15/07/2016 17:39

teachers don't parent 30 children.

they teach. they sometimes 'look after' them (not always, by any means)

they never 'parent' them.

that is a Parent's job.

Alasdair53 · 15/07/2016 17:46

I know some great teachers; I also know some whose ideas about child development and how best to support that are diametrically opposed to mine to the extent where I was not willing to risk the hurt and upset. I know the law says I am responsible for my child's education, even if I delegate the delivery to a school. I chose, therefore, to home educate. Best choice I ever made: so much joy and learning for all and a childhood for my child. He's now at university having passed first and second years with a first in Zoology, which is his passion.

Dawniedots · 15/07/2016 17:57

Seriously? You think it's the teachers job to remind your child to have a drink?!!!!!!! Do you honestly believe that they have time in their already extremely overworked day to remind children to 'have a drink'? If your child is thirsty, I'm sure they are more than capable of recognising this fact for themselves and getting a drink!!! Christ alive!!!

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2016 17:59

I am a 52 year old woman. If someone had found my bag on the beach and then refused to give it back to me on the coach home, would anyone think that was okay?

lljkk · 15/07/2016 18:07

Why hasn't OP updated us after talking to teacher?

Attitude84 · 15/07/2016 18:10

If she refused to give him his bag, being fully aware his drinking bottle was in it, regardless of coach rules, young children are allowed to have a drink on long hot journey, it's basic human rights. If this is the case, then I'd march in to the school and let the stupid bitch have it. It's not on.

jomidmum · 15/07/2016 18:13

It's reports like this that make me SO thankful that we home educate. If a child is thirsty, they should be allowed some water to drink.

Ditsy4 · 15/07/2016 18:16

Thelying...

Thanks we had a great day and several of the children thanked me. On the way back a little boy said "Thank you Mrs D, I've had one of the best days of my life." Then as we walked back from the bus several said thank you. It makes it all worthwhile though we are very tired.
None of the parents came to thank us. Two of them were late picking up. No apology, no thanks for taking them. At least their children appreciated it.

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2016 18:19

The OP opened an important issue but it's become so much wider than her and her child on the coach lljkk

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2016 18:23

Your selflessness reminds of this Ditsy4

Cameron07 · 15/07/2016 18:29

Hi omg this is like draconian there is a campaign water is cool in school she should read that poor boy and his human rights

a1poshpaws · 15/07/2016 18:37

You are defo NOT being unreasonable, and if I was you I'd put a formal written complaint into both the head teacher and the school board/trust.

limitedperiodonly · 15/07/2016 18:38

oh dear

NavyandWhite · 15/07/2016 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thelyingbitchandthewardrobe · 15/07/2016 18:40

Ditsy glad you had a good day! I was just looking at this thread and I was a bit shocked by the 'let the bitch have it' and so on. It's nice to read something positive.

wait68 · 15/07/2016 18:57

I am surprised how many people think It's okay to refuse a child water. It was a trip. He is 8. It was hot and he was having fun therefore he didn't remember to drink b4 getting on the coach or even while on the beach. How can you refuse a child water? It's not like he was taking an exam and would copy if he exited the class. I work with 8-9 year olds and I don't refuse them water ever unless they asked 10 min before and if I did I would ask them to finish something first (that would be in class not on a trip) then have a drink. There's time enough in their lives for them to learn about being careful. I would do the same even in year 6.

whirlwinds · 15/07/2016 19:00

I am amazed that this post about a bottle of water has reached 10 pages!

Drama123 · 15/07/2016 19:03

Eating and drinking on school coaches are not allowed.
However, I think it's adult discretion and I would lethink them have water after a day if it was hot.
I took 60 on a school trip the other day and it was tiring. However, his seems like a like a pretry pointless exercise, tired or not.

Drama123 · 15/07/2016 19:05

Awful typing on cheap phone. I can spell. I'm just tired!! 😁

derxa · 15/07/2016 19:14

Thank god I'm out. Teacher bashing threads all over. OP You are Nicky Morgan.

crazychemist · 15/07/2016 19:29

Small point. I'm a teacher, the coaches we use we load the bags under the bus before the kids gets on. If I'd put a bag there, I can't access it while the bus is driving. Any chance it's that sort of situation? (The kids normally carry their water bottles separately so they can have water in the coach, but this prevents them snacking, as eating is banned). If I was feeling a bit frazzled from taking 30 kids to the beach and picking up things that had left behind, I wouldn't think to remind the kid to take his bottle before his bag was put away.

DailyFailAteMyFish · 15/07/2016 19:36

It was two hours, he forgot his bag and would have gone without if the teacher hadn't rescued it.
2 hours is not the end of the world.

randomer · 15/07/2016 19:36

young and not so young...not going to the loo is unhealthy