to think I'm not a bad parent because my child hasn't learnt to swim?

[purplefan5]

DS is 7, he doesn't know how to swim and he is still in armbands, is this really so bad? I seem to get the worst looks when we go swimming, etc.

Is it really that bad? He doesn't want to do swimming lessons.. Are you supposed to force them?

[Chipsahoy]

My ds couldn't swim at 7. He turned 8 at beginning of yr and started swimming lessons in just after, in stage one. He is in stage three now. It doesn't take long to learn and your dc will pick it up fast.

[SnotGoblin]

I'm looking for a 'like' button for Blatherskite's post. Lovely, good, constructive advice.

[BeyondBeyondBeyondBeyondBeyond]

I do super agree that swimming is essential, do you really need to swim 1km?
That's 40minutes to make a B grade swimming race meet at 9, most kids are going to be even slower?

Took me just shy of an hour when I did it as a child - I remember doing it forty bloody lengths!!

[freetrampolineforall]

We "forgot" the waddle (the long floaty worm thing) one day and it really helped dd. I think they are a bit more dignified for an older child than armbands. It's all about what your child is confident doing and a little encouragement from a loved one rather than the bark of a teacher might work better. It's about having fun and gaining confidence.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

There are a lot of things you can do to gently over come the fear OP. Temporary discomfort now is better than the consequences of not being able to save his own life were he ever to fall in water.

[BurnTheBlackSuit]

My son was a water-hater. He wouldn't get water in his face and it used to make him really upset. We had to regularly take him to a quiet pool and slowly, slowly get him used to water until we managed to get him to put his face into the water. When we reached the point he was happy to get his face wet, then we started swimming lessons. He was almost 8 at the time. He won't ever be an Olympic swimmer, but he is doing ok and enjoys swimming- I don't think it would have been the case if we had taken him to swimming lessons when he was 4 and terrified of water.

As for people being able to afford them, they cost £100+ a term round here. And you can't take them yourself for "free"- visiting a public pool is very expensive here! And my son is in year 5 and is yet to be offered any school swimming lessons.

[needanewjob]

We have swimming lessons at our school from Yr 1 onwards. Swimming is such a key skill, but if you don't want to do lessons then you could teach him yourself? We did and then switched to lessons once ours were up and moving.

[CleanHankie]

My DD1 was very similar in that she hated the pool. Would cling to you and not let go. I dislike swimming myself (although had swimming lessons from a young age, mainly as my Dad can't swim) but my mum took DD1 once a month to the babies and toddlers session at the local pool. Massive waiting list for lessons so never got round to booking any. Tried an intensive lot in the summer when she was 5 but she refused to even get changed and get in the pool.
Finally, just before her 7th birthday we went on holiday to Florida to a villa with private pool. Lots of pool toys and noodles. 2 days into the holiday and she was doggy paddling and leaving off her armbands. Turns out she was happy in a quieter, smaller pool where she knew we were watching her and less chance of being distracted. Even now 3 years later, she swims better in a hotel pool than the local Sports Centre one. We've even progressed to fun dive sticks!
So don't give up (although I agree ditch the armbands and swap to a fun float or noodle ) and maybe find a local private pool that you can take him to (Hotel's locally maybe?).

[foolonthehill]

I think swimming is an essential skill.

Unfortunately swimming lessons from age 4 to age 14 have failed to produce anything other than random flailing and just about staying afloat in my DS whilst DDs are apparently related to fish.

You can provide opportunities but you can't actually MAKE someone swim.

[BertrandRussell]

Swimming lessons are one of the biggest cons ever imposed on a gullible public. Unless you live in very particular circumstances, your child does not need to be able to swim. And if you take them to the pool regularly they will learn anyway.

[Dutchcourage]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha bert honestly you really do talk put of your arse.

How the fuck are they going to learn how to swim it their parents can't even swim? Are they all going to self teach 😂😂😂

[wizzywig]

My 10 yr old cant swim. He has had years of 121 & group lessons in different places. He just cant do it.

[purplefan5]

I do swim

[BertrandRussell]

"It's not just about being safe in the water. Swimming is a great way for kids to exercise, compete, socialise with their friends."

Oh, I agree. But it should be a matter of choice, not Holy Writ!

[Dutchcourage]

purple who takes him swimming? Can he travel forward/backward with his feet off the floor? Have you tried a noodle? Have you tried a 1-2-1 in the water supporting his body weight?

Learning swimming comes in all shapes and sizes it totally depends on the student.

A 1-2-1 tea her could build confidence and put disks on him instead of bands and gradually reduce them OR he could practice with a noodle

[AcrossthePond55]

I learnt to swim aged 3, as did all my siblings and cousins. Uncle was a Red Cross certified swim instructor so he taught us all.

My two started swim lessons at the same age. DS1 took to it like a duck to water. DS2 sat on the pool edge for two summers venturing only as far as standing/walking in the shallow end and putting his face (v v briefly) in the water. We never pressured him or tried to 'shame' him into doing more. Finally, his third summer, he just up and jumped in during one lesson and swam to the other side. He turned into a real water-baby and still loves the water.

Start your son on lessons. If he sits by the pool, oh well. It's about him seeing what learning to swim is like, seeing that the other kids are not drowning, and 'noodling it through' in his own head until he understands that swimming is fun and that the best preventative for drowning is knowing how to swim.

PS, I taught a friend to swim when we were both 15 as it was a school requirement to be able to swim the length of the school pool. She was terrified of water and the crowd of students splashing about, so our Phys Ed teacher agreed to let me teach her one-on-one in our pool after school. She still won't voluntarily go into a pool, but she knows that she could swim to the side if she had to.

[NataliaOsipova]

I hate swimming and my DC hate swimming. We never go on the type of holidays that require swimming or where there is a pool. So I don't see it as an "essential life skill" - BUT - there is something of a safety issue. Not as much as many people make out; to be honest, if you fall into the sea/fast moving water, then unless you are lifeguard standard then you are likely to struggle. That said, there's something in knowing that if you were, say, on a boat and had to evacuate into the sea, that you wouldn't panic. So - I'd say it's worth getting him swimming at a basic level even if you are people who generally avoid water type activities.

But you're certainly not a bad parent! He's only 7 and will no doubt swim with school. Sure - if you're a swimming teacher then you think it's incredibly important; if you're a music teacher you think that learning an instrument is vital. Different people have different priorities.

[bumsexatthebingo]

Not read all the posts but of your ds is nervous I would highly recommend against forcing him to learn as some have suggested. If it's just a case of not being particularly interested a reward for trying lessons might help. Otherwise keep taking him and building his confidence. Encourage him to blow bubbles in the water with his mouth and nose and get some good goggles that don't leak. Get the armbands off if you can and encourage him to kick and blow bubbles while using a float - then progress to a few strokes to you or the side without. Keep it positive and go at his pace or you risk setting him back further.

[Mjinga]

Swimming lessons are totally pointless IMO, unless parents are unable to swim themselves. Lots of expense for hardly any value. Much better to take them yourself

[NickiFury]

My youngest wouldn't go to lessons so I taught her myself. She has no "strokes" to speak off but is very water confident. At some point I will get her lessons to develop her technique but not till she's ready.

[WeAllHaveWings]

We never attempted to teach ds to swim until he was 7 and then we paid for 1-1 lessons which took it at his pace. Within 18 months he was on a rookie lifeguard course doing 20 lengths in pjs.

He's recently had school swimming lessons during which a lot of the kids couldn't swim, found it hard for their "street cred" and dreaded it every week to the point some of them were off sick with sore tummies that only appeared on swimming lesson day.

Now he's 7 I would get him into it whatever way you can, you can't force him but you can encourage, motivate and bribe. He's better learning now in an environment of his choosing than the farce that is school Swimming lessons.

[TheCrumpettyTree]

Like many pp, my children have to learn as it's an essential skill. My 4 year old can swim and my toddler will be learning.

You need swimming lessons with the right teacher. If he's terrified then he needs someone who can deal with that with the right approach. We pay for private lessons, little group of four children.

[ByAndByTheWay]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but are there any resources or books or DVDs I could use to teach mine to swim ( obviously not for the kids, but for me to understand the process)? I am a strong swimmer and want my children to swim but we are struggling financially and simply can't afford the lessons at the moment, although hopefully this won't be forever. I'd like to teach them myself but I'm worried about getting it wrong!
I think swimming is a really important skill. My husband can't swim and regrets it. It's much harder to do the lessons as an adult!

[Enjoyingthepeace]

Taking your child to swimming lessons, especially after school, is often a big faff. Particularly with younger siblings.

However, in my opinion it is a critical life skill. And it was a no-brained, my child was going to learn to swim confidently at a very young age.

To get to 7, and still be wearing arm bands? You are making your son vulnerable to being teased, and feel he is somehow deficient compared to peers who can jump/dive/play in water on holiday. So for that reason alone, I always wanted my child to swim.

In short, you took the easy option. And your son suffers as a result. Let's hope that's the only consequence.