To have just laughed down the phone at this woman?

[ClaudiaWankleman]

Phone rings. I pick up. Long wait as I am connected to the poor person at the end of the long line to (I assume) somewhere in Asia. I sigh.

Hello, is that Claudia?
Yes. Who is calling?
Hello. How are you today?
Fine thanks. Who is calling?
I am calling about nuisance marketing phone calls.
Right.
Records show that you have been receiving nuisance marketing phone calls. For a small fee we can block these calls from your phone.
Do you mean calls like this?
No, I mean marketing calls.
Like this one then? Cue hyena laughter

I didn't hear the rest of what was said, I hung up after a good long laugh and went back to watching Judge Judy. You can't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.

I will be cheery all day now.

That was the most redundant, ironic call ever. Offering a service you get for free and if you are with TPS, they have violated that. As others has suggested, act interested and take down the company name, and a number to call them back on and as much info as you can, then tell them to take your number off their data base. The Data Protection Act means they have to and if they don't they get a nasty visit from the data commissioner and you may have grounds to charge them for harassment. Oh and also obviously pass these details to TPS.

I once told one of these to "Get Lost". They then phoned me back and gave me a right gobfull

I feel sorry for people doing this for their living. There's no need to be rude, I just lay down the phone and walk away so the company pays the maximum for the call. Have to remember to hang up later!

YANBU to have laughed :)

YABU about Judge Judy as its all about Judge Faith these days :)

I had one once that said, "Hello, my name's Arthur Miller..." I'd started laughing before he'd even finished his sentence and said, "It's not though, is it? Go and Google your name." and just put the phone down.

I once had one who insisted he wasn't a cold caller and that I'd requested contact from this company, I kept telling him I hadn't and that I'd report it to TPS, eventually he got so frustrated that he shouted YOU FUCKING LADY!!!! in his thick Indian accent and I was left in hysterics as he he slammed the phone down. Made my day

I keep getting calls because apparently I have expressed an interest in compsensation for an accident I had. I had one guy and I said (after taking down the company name and details 'not interested in marketing calls, sorry. Please take my number off.'

Saleman says: Oh but I have records here that say you gave your details to somebody regarding a recent car accident.

Me: Well that's a lie.

Saleman: You name is Kathy though, right?

Me: Yes, but I certainly haven't willing given my information. I haven't had a car accident.

Saleman: It may have been from some years ago.

Me: Nope. Never had a single car accident. I don't have a car. I've never had a car. I still have a provisional drivers licence.

Salesman: .... oh. Well ... maybe somebody in your family has had one?

Me: So somebody in my family had a car accident and gave MY name to and number contact about it?

Salesman: Well no but perhaps you could ask them if they are interested in-

Me: Yeah so this right here is a marketing call. I'm with TPS so you can't do that and I'm reporting your company. I'm formally asking you to remove my number. If you refuse, or fail to do so, I'll take legal action for harassment and report you to the data commissioner for breach of the DPA as well. It is very clear your company have acquired my details through less than legal channels as I have NEVER given my details out for the purpose of being contacted for accident compensation.

saleman hangs up

They make me laugh. I also have some woman name Hannah Williams who keeps giving out my home phone number to people for things and it's really annoying.

This is the ultimate response:

I keep getting the 'We are ringing you from Microsoft because you have a serious problem with your computer' type of call . I have switched between asking them to hang on while I get the person who owns the computer - and leaving the receiver lying on the table, to sounding anxious and letting them rattle on for some time and then saying that I am really worried to hear all this because I haven't got a computer, and finally my favourite, slightly vulgar but deeply satisfying shriek of 'You are a crook! Piss off!'

I got one from BT Security telling me my internet was being used for illegal activities. I asked them to tell me my postcode and they hung up.

My favourite game is to see how long I can keep them on the phone before before they hang up.

Maybe my card is over here, no wait, perhaps it isn't, I'm just going to go and look for it, can you wait a few minutes?

And then I put the phone down on the coffee table and me and OH place bets on how long it is until the call is disconnected.

I've had a million (nearly) of those accident calls, my car was rear ended while parked in a car park at work. I just told them all repeatedly that I have no uninsured losses, and eventually they stopped.

Laughing so hard at that vid Mysteries😂😂

Oh I'd love to get one of the Microsoft ones! We don't have a Windows machine. I wonder if they know and that's why they never call...

I once thought a real call from the bank was a scammer. He phoned me up, and immediately asked me to confirm my name and address - I refused, saying he could be anybody and could he prove he was really from the bank. He got a bit shirty, which convinced me that he was dodgy, so I took his number so I could check with the bank and call him back. They confirmed that it was a real number.

A clever chap from Orange found a way around this stalemate once - same situation, so he said "If I tell you that the digits in the day of your date of birth add up to the month of your date of birth will you believe that I have your details already?" I liked him.

I had the "I believe you've been involved in a car accident" one the other day.

The ironic thing, was I was in a non-moving traffic jam, as a car and caravan had turned over on the A road just a few feet in front of me (horrible and I hope whoever was driving was OK).

All the drivers had got out of their cars, as we were going nowhere and then I had this phone call to my mobile. It confused the bloke so much at the other end, when I confirmed that I had been involved in a car accident and it was happening right now and what's more the Police would be very interested in talking to him (cue sirens, I couldn't have asked for better timing).

He stuttered so much, just didn't know what on earth to say and then rang off.

I did enjoy that moment, I have to say.

?

We had a speight of the Microsoft ones to our office one morning all from the same displayed number so after the first two we all started answering "Hello, you're through to Microsoft UK Fraud department." :)

Mysteries thanks for that link - bloody brilliant!

I keep getting phone calls from Sky TV but I don't think it's actually sky.

They start off asking me if Im happy with my service and then try and sell me some sort of warrenty/insurance for the skybox.

Does anyone know if if is actually sky? I tell them to do one ever way.

I hate the scam calls about your computer not workng. I now say you should be ashamed of yourself. Go out and gat an honest job!

That is brilliant

Love this thread - I get these calls all the time, and it reminded me of a story I read a while back....

www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23869462

reckon they'd be far less annoying if they were an income source :)

Loved the video, Mysteries.

More mundanely, I just ask for their home number so I can call them back later in the evening.

Flipping made my day!!!

I think laughing is probably one of the kinder reactions the lady has received.