To be a bit annoyed that my daughter (5) is wasting her teacher's time?

[DearDaughter]

Hi, I'm not sure really if this is something I should apologise to the teacher for. My daughter got a certificate on Friday for "being able to get herself dressed and undressed for PE" to be quite honest, I thought she was doing this for herself. She has obviously been having some help from her teacher. I feel awful.

I've already said to her than it wasn't fair to make her get her teacher to help when she has other stuff to do, so please don't flame me for my child not being disciplined.

Is this something I should go in and apologise for? I feel like the certificate was a bit of a dig... She's in Reception btw.

You are really over thinking this.

Ds is 5.5 and lives someone dressing him. He makes out to my mum he can't dress himself. He can and has been doing for years.

It's what kids do. You need to chill a little bit.

As reception teacher I just helped where it appeared necessary while encouraging everyone to have a go. There always seemed after 5 minutes to be one child standing looking thoughtful with his shirt draped over his head when everyone else was fine bar the odd tight button or inside/back to front jumper.

But I don't want a daughter who lies about stuff tbh...

Well, what are you going to do if you don't like it? Sell her?

Why do you think that she's been having help? Does the certificate explicitly say so? If it doesn't, I'd assume she's one of the few who does get changed quickly and independently!

Of course I'm not going to sell her it's just frustrating.

I don't know if she has been getting help, but it's quite a normal assumption.

It's so frustrating.

Lots of Reception children have some help, stop being so dramatic. How was the certificate 'a dig'?

My youngest has always had an aversion to get changed for PE/sporting activities - no idea why.

I think there were several stand offs in R and Yr1 between her and staff over it...

I'm with Brenda. I'd have assumed she was one of the kids who didn't need help.

Tights are tricky.
Maybe it's about keeping her clothes in one place as some kids somehow end up with their stuff scattered everywhere.

Just chill. She's a small child. This is so not a problem.

I'd assume the certificate meant she wasn't having help

I don't think it's saying she hasn't. They may have just noticed she's one of the few who never asks for help and wanted to reward that.
It seems strange to see something like that as a negative.

She's only 5! This is really nothing to be upset about. No way is the certificate a dig, it's meant to be encouragement. At home she feels confident to dress herself, at school it's different. Please praise her, don't scold her for this!

But I don't want a daughter who lies about stuff tbh...

sorry to burst your bubble. Your Dd will lie at some point. Especially if it makes her life easier or gets her out of doing something.

We all have and we all do. It's perfectly normal.

My ds is 7. He can wipe his bum and get dressed. He still kicks off though when I refuse to do it for him

Do you mean to sound so unpleasant? The poor kid. The appropriate parental response in this situation is 'well done darling' not carping and deciding your child is a manipulative liar. What the heck is wrong with you

I don't think schools give out passive aggressive awards.

You're winding us up, surely? I can't imagine any parent getting upset because their child came home with a certificate. How very very odd. You know the usual reaction is "well done!"

What exactly has your DD lied to you about?

Oh and BTW my DS is able to dress himself at home but needs help at school. That's because at home he has as much time as he needs, at school he gets about 5 minutes.

I can see where you're coming from. Having been a Reception teacher, I would say that the certificate has probably been awarded to your daughter for being pro-active in getting changed by herself on recent occasions without needing reminders from the teacher or TA or having her clothes strewn all over the place in the changing room. I would congratulate her on the certificate and I would also assume that having been awarded for changing herself she will feel motivation to carry on doing so.

I too would think that meant she can get herself dressed and undressed, because that's exactly what the certificate says. Why would you assume it meant the opposite?

She got a certificate for doing something well. Congratulate her! Don't make it into a negative and assume she's lying.

She got an award for being able to do something not because she wasn’t doing something. Why do you think your DD has been lying? How very odd.

It sounds like the certificate is a gentle positive nudge to encourage her to carry on dressing and undressing herself without help.
So rather than making an issue out of it when the kids are asking for/needing help, they're just praising them when they do it without help.
I think you're worrying over nothing to be honest!