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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed that my daughter (5) is wasting her teacher's time?

109 replies

DearDaughter · 10/07/2016 19:30

Hi, I'm not sure really if this is something I should apologise to the teacher for. My daughter got a certificate on Friday for "being able to get herself dressed and undressed for PE" Hmm to be quite honest, I thought she was doing this for herself. She has obviously been having some help from her teacher. I feel awful.

I've already said to her than it wasn't fair to make her get her teacher to help when she has other stuff to do, so please don't flame me for my child not being disciplined.

Is this something I should go in and apologise for? I feel like the certificate was a bit of a dig... She's in Reception btw.

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2013 · 10/07/2016 20:01

Sorry but you are being very negative and dramatic about the whole thing!

I got a certificate in reception for tying my own shoelaces - I'd never had help from the teacher as I could tie my own laces before I started school. The teacher gave it me to praise my efforts and acknowledge my independence.

Your daughters teacher could be doing the same.

Lots of kids need help and encouragement with all kinds of things and as a teacher myself (albeit secondary) I would never feel that a child was 'wasting my time' because they needed help/encouragement/support with anything.

Just be pleased you're daughter got a certificate.

NarcyCow · 10/07/2016 20:04

She didn't lie, you assumed! Good grief, OP.

NeedACleverNN · 10/07/2016 20:04

Hmm wow. Big drama over nothing

My 3 year old can do a lot of stuff herself yet on the days she doesn't want to do it, she tells me she can't.

She's 5. She needs your prose and encouragement. Not disproval

SouperSal · 10/07/2016 20:05

But I don't want a daughter who lies about stuff tbh...

It's actually a vital skill.

ThePyjamasOfACat · 10/07/2016 20:06

My mum got called into school when my brother was about six, his teacher was a bit concerned because he didn't seem able to dress or undress himself and she wondered if there were any issues at home. He'd actually been doing it himself since he was two, and was quite able, but preferred getting the attention from the teacher and the other children who "helped" him. He didn't get in trouble at all, once the teacher realised what was going on she thought it was very funny, as did mum. A simple "you CAN get yourself dressed though can't you Adam" sufficed.

I think you're being a bit hard on your DD. She's not "lying", and she has been awarded a certificate, which you should be pleased with.

Chippednailvarnishing · 10/07/2016 20:08

If you think teachers have enough time in the day to send home certificates as a veiled dig at the parents, you're frankly delusional.

Porcupinetree · 10/07/2016 20:09

I hope you know how awful you sound!

Nanny0gg · 10/07/2016 20:09

Bloody hell.

If your DD was 'wasting her teacher's time' I'm sure you'd be told.

But as I'm not really sure how that happens...

Gazelda · 10/07/2016 20:09

Getting dressed and undressed in the comfort of your own home is quite different to doing it alongside 29 other distractions kids, all of whom have the same t shirt/shorts/gingham dress etc.

But regardless, I would have taken that certificate as a 'well done' and praised my DD's independence. I can't understand why you e taken offence about it and assumed your DD is a liar.

How are you going to feel when your DD gets praised for her spellings, when you know they are words your DD has learned confidently? Will you criticise your DD for misleading teacher about her spelling abilities?

She's been praised for an ability. Don't downplay it.

derektheladyhamster · 10/07/2016 20:09

I wouldn't worry. I found ds's certificate from year 1
'For trying really hard to be good' 😀
He's 16 now, and hopefully about to get a clutch of A's at GCSE 😀😀😀😁

HolgerDanske · 10/07/2016 20:12

How awful for your daughter to be commended for something and then instead of being proud of her you turn it into a big massive negative drama.

teacher54321 · 10/07/2016 20:12

The teacher isn't having a dig. The teacher is being nice to your child. Your child isn't lying.

calamityjam · 10/07/2016 20:16

There are probably a few who still can't do this for themselves. the certifcates are to praise the ones who can and encourage the ones who can't to work at it, so they can get a certificate when they achieve it.

bloodymaria · 10/07/2016 20:16

Go and give your daughter a cuddle, tell her your sorry for being a grump and then forget about it.

What are you looking for negatives?

SideOfFoot · 10/07/2016 20:18

You've read the certificate the wrong way. It's praise for something she can do well, not a dig at something she can't do. She's not lying. Be pleased.

SatsukiKusakabe · 10/07/2016 20:18

If anyone thinks you are reasonable, I'd be bewildered.

I'm sure this isn't the first time you've made a mountain out of a molehill, but have a sticker anyway Smile

LaurieMarlow · 10/07/2016 20:18

You need to calm RIGHT down. And if apply this level of over-analysis throughout all of her school career, you'll be exhausted beyond belief.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 10/07/2016 20:19

"I don't think schools give out passive aggressive awards."

^^ this.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 10/07/2016 20:20

Some of my Y1s still get help - tights, some of them struggle with the tanglement of pinafores, jumpers which are getting tight are tricky to get off, shoe laces ...

I think you're being a bit hard on your 5 year old. Yes, at 5 kids 'get dressed themselves' to a certain extent but perfectly normal for them to find some elements of it tricky.

Chill about it; especially about the assumption your daughter received a 'passive aggressive award'. You are reading too much into it and being pessimistic about it.

Footle · 10/07/2016 20:23

OP, ask the teacher in a calm and friendly way if she could explain what she's written. She may be surprised to realise it was a bit ambiguous - she needs to be told if it was so easy to misinterpret.

Atenco · 10/07/2016 20:24

And be prepared for your dd lying on occasion too. It is part of exploring their world and learning about it, not a sign that she is perverse.

DeadGood · 10/07/2016 20:30

"She didn't lie, you assumed!"

This. To all the posters saying "lying is a skill" etc - did you see something I didn't? Because there is nothing that implies this poor kid has lied, is there??

Doinmummy · 10/07/2016 20:30

I can't see how you read this as anything but your DD is getting herself dressed and undressed .

Heidi42 · 10/07/2016 20:34

are you for real?

PurpleTango · 10/07/2016 20:40

Sounds like a stealth boast to me

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