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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to eat 2 meals mixed together

90 replies

metimeisforwimps · 10/07/2016 08:19

I'm almost sure ianbu! Dh is big on eating together as a family. Which is great. So yesterday I made pasta for lunch. Big plate in the middle of the table for people to help themselves to. But I had realised there wasn't enough pasta for all of us, so I thought dh and the kids could eat that, and I got a 1 portion sized bowl of leftover biryani from yesterday to eat. I didn't offer that to anyone else as dh doesn't like leftovers and I know the kids prefer pasta. Then before I could stop him dh took the bowl of biryani and mixed it into the pasta!!! So that we were 'all eating together'. O wad fuming, they were both nice home cooked meals, and now both ruined! Dh and kids are the weird mixture while I sat stony faced. I had a sandwich later. Dh can't see the problem and thinks I am just picking arguments. Surtly ianbu?!

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 10/07/2016 08:22

No yanbu that's disgusting and unnecessary, you would still have been eating together

CatNip2 · 10/07/2016 08:22

Oh gawd no, that is so gross. Even my DH who will eat anything having been brought up in a large family of all boys wouldn't do that or eat it. Blugh.

pasturesgreen · 10/07/2016 08:23

Ugh, no, YANBU!

Pasta on its own, yummy! Biryani on its own, lovely! But the two mixed together? Just no!

Your DH was being odd.

HippiePrincess · 10/07/2016 08:24

this has to be a joke
nobody could be that ridiculous

Elledouble · 10/07/2016 08:27

YANBU. What a bloody weird thing to do. Especially for one who "doesn't like leftovers" - wtf?!

MissElizaBennettsBookmark · 10/07/2016 08:27

What. A. Plonker!!!!

YANBU OP - that sounds utterly vile!!

GettingScaredNow · 10/07/2016 08:27

Wow.

Dh sounds very pushy and controlling. He treated you like a child in this example.
Without asking he mixes your food with everyone else's and forces everyone to eat something foul just so his need for everyone to eat together is met....

YANBU. Does he do this pushy insistence elsewhere in your household?

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 10/07/2016 08:30

Well, it's not great no but sitting stony faced and fuming seems as bit OTT?!

Hassled · 10/07/2016 08:31

He's misunderstanding (deliberately?) what "eating together" means. It's not about eating the same stuff. Is he thick? Or does he just not care at all?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 10/07/2016 08:32

That's weird

I sometimes mix two meals together if I fancy it and depending what it is. But I'd be pissed off if someone else decided to do it for me.

Xmasbaby11 · 10/07/2016 08:33

That's revolting! Is it a one off or does he do this type of thing?

Crunchymum · 10/07/2016 08:33

Disgusting and odd. Didn't the pasta already have sauce on it?

Years ago I did a curry and upon making the rice I realised there wouldn't be enough for us all so in my infinite wisdom I whacked myself on some spaghetti. It was grim. I managed a few mouthfuls before admitting defeat.

I actually struggled to eat my delicious homemade curries for months after. Even the memory now offends me.

I always keep a few emergency packets of microwave rice in the store cupboard now as well.

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 10/07/2016 08:34

Whaaaat? That's revolting

arethereanyleftatall · 10/07/2016 08:34

What he did was odd. Then your reaction was odd and ott. Odd all round.

Mirandawest · 10/07/2016 08:35

That's odd. Eating together means you're all there at the same time. I'm presuming he wouldn't do that in a restaurant where you'd be very likely to eat different meals, but still be eating together.

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 10/07/2016 08:35

I had pasta and curry as a teenager once because I was too lazy to cook rice and there was cooked pasta in the fridge. Never again Envy

TheAntiBoop · 10/07/2016 08:38

Op - is he stupid or is he an arse? Or both?

I defroster the freezer last week so the kids had fish and chips with a side of bolognese. So I could understand if he had taken a spoonful of the rice on the side. Mixing it together is just plain weird.

What did the kids say? Did they want to to eat it?

ToffeeForEveryone · 10/07/2016 08:49

That's grim. Husband sounds batshit.

VioletBam · 10/07/2016 08:50

What I want to know is this

Did you already have the Biriani in front of you...knife and fork poised.

OR, did he pick it up from the table not realising you intended to eat it alone.

Iggii · 10/07/2016 08:53

I'm impressed you have dcs who will eat whatever weird crap is placed in front of them.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 10/07/2016 08:54

Don't for the life of me understand why someone who doesn't like leftovers would mix leftovers in with everyone's lunch - who does that?
Fucking batshit thing to do.

No YANBU. Apart from anything else, the mixture sounds foul. I don't mind mixing some leftovers together, but not the two things you've said. Bleurgh!

CantChoose · 10/07/2016 08:56

You were both being unreasonable.
The mix doesn't sound very appealing but he's right, sitting there stony faced and refusing to eat it is picking an argument...

BigTroubleInLittleChina · 10/07/2016 08:56

More info needed:

Did you have sauce on the pasta?
Did you have rice on the Biryani?

Does your DH think eating together means serving yourself from a big bowl in the middle of the table? Coz it means eating AT the table.

milkysmum · 10/07/2016 08:56

Very odd 😳

PurpleWithRed · 10/07/2016 08:57

I think you're overreacting - it's not a situation for 'fuming' or sulking (aka sitting stony faced), but I do agree he is weird to feel you have to all eat the same thing, and very very weird to mix biriani with pasta. You could have just got your sandwich, taken the mickey out of him, and had the family-eating-together meal you quite rightly want.