to not want to eat 2 meals mixed together

[metimeisforwimps]

I'm almost sure ianbu! Dh is big on eating together as a family. Which is great. So yesterday I made pasta for lunch. Big plate in the middle of the table for people to help themselves to. But I had realised there wasn't enough pasta for all of us, so I thought dh and the kids could eat that, and I got a 1 portion sized bowl of leftover biryani from yesterday to eat. I didn't offer that to anyone else as dh doesn't like leftovers and I know the kids prefer pasta. Then before I could stop him dh took the bowl of biryani and mixed it into the pasta!!! So that we were 'all eating together'. O wad fuming, they were both nice home cooked meals, and now both ruined! Dh and kids are the weird mixture while I sat stony faced. I had a sandwich later. Dh can't see the problem and thinks I am just picking arguments. Surtly ianbu?!

Violet, yes he knew my plan was to eat it myself, he took the bowl from my hands! OK the summary of this thread so far seems to be DH was definitely weird and in the wrong, and my reaction was probably a bit OTT. At least he might not do it again!

Very annoying that he didn't think to ask what others wanted. He should have just mixed his own if he wanted it like that.

Reminds me of the time when I was around 13 and eating cereal. My dad had been cutting bread on a chopping board and for some unknown reason he decided to just wipe all the bread crumbs from the board into my cereal bowl and got very angry with me when I just sat staring at it. He also used to add food from others people plates to mine if they didn't want to eat it and other similar things. Not nice.

Just no

Did you not tell him he was being a twat? I would have been very cross. Do you all eat the same when you go out? It's a very weird thing to do.

he took the bowl from my hands

He's a dick. A controlling dick.

The fact that he knew you wanted to eat eat and took it out of your hands makes it worse. What a knob.

He took the bowl out of your hands

Reaction is very very much not OTT.

OTT would have been taking him out into the kitchen and kneecapping him although if I was on the jury I would not convict you

Your reaction was mild and restrained.

Only you know your DH but I would have guessed he just did it without thinking rather than it being a control issue. I'm baffled that other posters are so sure he did it to be nasty.

If he just did it without thinking then it then you were ridiculous and childish of you to sulk. about it.

dampsquid Well if you post on mumsnet about your relationship then there will always be someone who thinks your DH is controlling! I'm surprised I haven't had an LTB yet.
DH has his oddities but is not generally controlling.
This did REALLY annoyme though.
hotdiggedy that sounds awful, and kind of reminds me of DH but he's not that bad. He has very specific ideas about certain things, especially around food, and tends to disregard other people feelings.

Maybe men have different taste buds to women.
Reminds me of a part of 3 Menin a Boat, where they decide to make a stew, and put inot is bits of everything - tinned meat, sardines tinned fruit etc.
The writer said it was the most delicious stew they had ever tasted.

Have you talked to him about what he did?

"At least he might not do it again!"

Why wouldn't he OP - because you talked to him about it? Because MN said he was wrong and he'll take that on board?

Did he notice your stony-faced protest?

YANBU by the way, what a horrid thing to do (especially the bit where he took the bowl out of your hands) - actually very worrying behaviour!

He sounds a bit bonkers!

I'm actually impressed that the OP had made too little pasta - normally I find that I accidentally make a huge mountain of it!

/misses point of thread

Mind you, I love eating leftover chinese on sundays - and tend to mix everything in one pan

You need to nip that in the bud. It's very very odd behaviour. And you didn't overreact. I'd have gone tonto if someone ruined the entire family's meal like that.

Bit strange but did you even try it? As soon as the byriani was stirred in the deed was done so not sure how a stony face throughout dinner helped things. Did it make you feel better??

Clearly in the minority here but I don't see the problem with the pasta/rice mash up... It's food, it sounds tasty frankly.

Yuck.

Why should she try it? It sounds repulsive.

I can see a man thinking he was doing the right thing, everyone gets a bit of everything... Obviously OP didn't, so just tell him to make sure you are served your portion before any meals are mixed again.

Some people think curry and pasta isnt a great mix but not everyone is that bothered either. I have tried curried pasta before and it was fine. There was no need to have a hissy fit for such a small first time offence.

peach he actually took it out of her hand knowing it was her meal, on what planet is that ever ok?

It was very bizarre behaviour for the reason he gave, but I can imagine dp doing that. He once made dinner which was a mix between spag bol (jar of bol sauce) and fajita (jar of fajita sauce) with mince and peppers. It was vile. He also once put a tin of mixed bean salad in spag bol, luckily I wasn't eating that meal.

I wouldn't have eaten it and don't think the OP should have either.

NeedsAsockamnesty, I didn't say it was ok, I said I can imagine a man's thought process thinking it was ok.

Eg. Oh no wife has to eat crappy leftovers, she is so selfless she never puts herself first. Lets share and then we can all have the fresh pasta.
Logic doesn't always come into it and he asts before he engages his mouth.

I am just saying its not always as black and white as, evil twat abuses dp.

So weird! As others have said, eating together means eating at the same time not eating identical meals.

I would have been more than stony faced! Especially at the taking the bowl from right in front of me.

And who thinks pasta with veg and a rice dish go well together?! Yuk.