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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to eat 2 meals mixed together

90 replies

metimeisforwimps · 10/07/2016 08:19

I'm almost sure ianbu! Dh is big on eating together as a family. Which is great. So yesterday I made pasta for lunch. Big plate in the middle of the table for people to help themselves to. But I had realised there wasn't enough pasta for all of us, so I thought dh and the kids could eat that, and I got a 1 portion sized bowl of leftover biryani from yesterday to eat. I didn't offer that to anyone else as dh doesn't like leftovers and I know the kids prefer pasta. Then before I could stop him dh took the bowl of biryani and mixed it into the pasta!!! So that we were 'all eating together'. O wad fuming, they were both nice home cooked meals, and now both ruined! Dh and kids are the weird mixture while I sat stony faced. I had a sandwich later. Dh can't see the problem and thinks I am just picking arguments. Surtly ianbu?!

OP posts:
Diamogs · 10/07/2016 09:01

I'd have happily had a bit of each on the same plate - bit like a hot buffet thing, but to mix curry in with a pasta dish is odd. But sitting stony faced is odd too. TBH it would have just made me laugh and make everyone cheese on toast instead.

mallorcanmummy · 10/07/2016 09:02

he sounds very pushy and controlling...

OTT much?

Maybe he just didn't think...sounds like the kind of thing my DH would do...."ooh I like this, and I like this...let's put them together" our meals when he cooks are often a mix of weird flavours that are great separately.

But, OP, while YANBU to be annoyed, YABU to 'sit stony faced and fuming'
It's really not that big a deal at the end od the day.

Original poster
metimeisforwimps · 10/07/2016 09:02

Pasta had sauce and vegetables mixed together, biryani was rice with vegetables and a bit of meat.
This is typical of DH's tendancy to get something in his head and then stick to this thing rigidly sacrificing common sense and other peoples feelings along the way (and in this case, tasebuds).
Iggii I was also quite impressed with the kids eating it, not sure whether this is a good sign or not, DS2 (age 2) also tried to feed it to me.
I probably shouldn't have sat stony faced but it really annoyed me that 2 nice meals were ruined for the sake of DH's over-literal idea of what eating together means!
Poor kids!

OP posts:
TheAntiBoop · 10/07/2016 09:06

My dh has many flaws but if I had cooked he would always ask before making any mixing/serving decisions. It's basic respect to the cook.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/07/2016 09:10

Yanbu. I would have been really annoyed too and would have shown it. Why does Mumsnet have this unrealistic thing about relationships where no one is ever supposed to express a negative emotion or get snappy with each other?

DoreenLethal · 10/07/2016 09:11

Who died and made him the boss? You need to have a word about backing the fuck off IMHO.

Wolpertinger · 10/07/2016 09:18

You are not overreacting. I'm actually heaving at the thought of your meal here. In my house this would be such a big deal I'd be going on about it for days.

Your DH is fucking weird. Eating together means sitting at a table. Not chucking all the food in together like pigs at a trough.

Pasta - nice meal. Biryani - nice meal. Pasta+biryani - vomit.

Scribblegirl · 10/07/2016 09:24

Yeah, I'd have been really pissed off OP.

The other Sunday we were making toasted sandwiches for lunch and we happened to have some leftover Singapore noodles from a Chinese on Friday night. DP put the noodles in his toastie as the filling Shock obviously he was roundly mocked but he finished his toastie and said it was delicious Hmm

But that was a decision that only affected him, and he was willing to live with the consequences of his very strange tastebuds. If he'd unilaterally fucked up everyone else's meal without consulting id have been really annoyed.

glenthebattleostrich · 10/07/2016 09:27

Surely eating together is a family at the table.

When we eat out we eat together but have different meals. At home dd will have a sandwich for lunch and I'll have salad, but we are together at the table having a conversation which is the important part of eating together.

If DH ruined 2 perfectlyg oid meals he'd be eating alone for a very long time, and it wouldn't be food I'd prepared either!

OopsThereGoMyTrousers · 10/07/2016 09:31

He was daft mixing the two together but since he and the children ate it, it can't have tasted that bad.

But you sulked and refused to eat it. What happens the next time your 2 year old refuses to eat what is on the table- you've set a bad example

Itsaplayonwords · 10/07/2016 09:31

Based on his definition of "eating together" presumably you must all have to order the same if you go to a restaurant. God forbid you might have different tastes...or that one of your children decides to be a vegetarian!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/07/2016 09:40

He actually took your food from in front of you picked it up and mixed it in with a main serving bowl?

That is fucked up,rude and quite gross.

Wolpertinger · 10/07/2016 09:43

Even 2 year olds are entitled to refuse to eat food that most adults would find disgusting.

Or is DH now allowed to set all the rules and OP has to obey them in case it causes disobedience from the children - OP is not a child!

leccybill · 10/07/2016 09:50

I would have refused to eat it too, and probably had a face on.

YOU cooked two lovely home-cooked meals. Both dishes which are great for leftovers, but oh no, DH 'doesn't like' leftovers (weird - it's the same food).

Then, he couldn't handle that you were eating something different at the table so he mixed it all in? Does he do this in restaurants then?

Very weird indeed.

IceMaiden73 · 10/07/2016 09:51

Sounds like you both need to grow up

Penfold007 · 10/07/2016 09:53

Well you know he now is happy to eat leftovers 😃

diddl · 10/07/2016 09:53

Yup, I would probably have sat there stony faced.

Looking forward to lovely leftover biriyana & someone ruins it?

What a strange thing for him to do.

Also he reason makes no sense!

VioletBam · 10/07/2016 09:56

OP I must know! Did he take it from in front of you? Did he KNOW you meant to eat it alone? Or did he go over your head and basically grab your meal to mix it in?

venusinscorpio · 10/07/2016 10:04

It's not an overreaction to say that is controlling. "He doesn't like leftovers". You made food and he ruined it. He needs to get the fuck over himself. I'd be fuming too.

VioletBam · 10/07/2016 10:06

Venus we don't know if he took it from in front of her KNOWING she meant to eat it though...OR if he just picked it up without knowing her plan.

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 10/07/2016 10:07

I wouldn't have eaten that mess! Why should anyone eat pasta, tomato sauce, rice and curry mixed together if they don't want to?

SestraClone · 10/07/2016 10:09

No way would I have eaten that, I'd have sat there stony faced too! YANBU!

JellyBeansHaveNoAgeLimit · 10/07/2016 10:10

Did he do it on purpose or did he think the plan was to mix them together?

venusinscorpio · 10/07/2016 10:12

Who mixes curry and pasta together into one big mess?

CottonSock · 10/07/2016 10:15

Yanbu, I would probably have same reaction (don't think my dh would dare tbh)

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