To be perplexed by this?

[gardenangels]

Four of us arrange to have a coffee together to celebrate. Was arranged by Clarissa who is close friends with all of us. We all know each other but Clarissa glues us together.

We get to coffee shop Clarissa starts a conversation with a random stranger and then goes to join their table for 40 minutes. By the time she comes back we are ready to leave...

Then why ask other people why they would see someone who did this again when you have?

It sounds like you're not really into this friendship from her behaviour anyway. You sound too pissed off to let it go or go through it again so maybe let this one fizzle. If you're that busy it should be pretty easy.

I am not complaining about the talking in the street just the amount of effort it took to get the 4 of us together and then she ignores us all.

Are you quite shy or socially awkward, garden? With a friend who gets chatting to people in the street, it isn't that usual to just stand around and wait. You'd go and join the conversation (drawing attention to the fact that your mutual friend hadn't introduced you!) And, in the cafe, most people would either go & get her back or agree she'd left the party and carry on without her.

It's very odd that Clarissa gets into all these other interactions while ignoring the people she's with.

It's also odd to just hang around while this happens, more than once or twice anyway.

I wouldn't meet up with her again, she is beyond rude!

Also, what's with all the posters dictating how long your meet-up should be? how weird.

Oh and now the OP is socially awkward because she is polite and doesn't barge into other people's conversations? This thread is barmy!

What? No, Sestra. When you're in someone else's company and they start up an interaction with someone else, they should introduce you. If they don't, the assertive thing is to introduce yourself. It's not barging in.

Hanging in the background, silently stewing, is unsocial. It's what you'd do if you're shy or socially anxious. Quite reasonable to ask - coping strategies exist.

Not socially awkward or shy. The street conversations are with people I don't know and have nothing in common with and usually about specific things that Clarissa knows about.

Call me old fashioned but if you arrange to meet up for a birthday celebration I actually expect the person that invited us to stay with us for the short period of time we had.

The street conversations happen when we are going from A to B and due to time constraints I would not want to prolong the conversations.

Oh, well, garden. It really looks like meeting Clarissa socially isn't that great an idea for the future.

The rest of the time, presumably, you're just dashing between appointments so you should go ahead if she hangs out chatting en route.

•I think she was really rude, and a bit odd. I don't know why some people are laying into you so much, other than an apparent desire to have a go at someone regardless of the reason.•

^^ This

I wonder if these posters would mind if they met up with a friend and that their friend spent their time on the phone?

I think it's rude and would have said, 'I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to talk.' But then I don't tend to have friends like this.

Not dashing between appointments when I am with her but going to something prearranged. Limited time as work full time and have dc commitments so when I meet up with Clarissa both of us only have a certain amount of time as partners holding the fort at home.

I think it is rude to start conversations with others when you have arranged to meet someone and you both have limited time. She actually goes out of her way to do this when a friendly hello is all the others expect but as they pass her she starts a conversation about something specific to them.

Not sure I understand this nastiness about only having limited time to socialise at the weekend. Is that not normal when you have children and work full - time?

Does her real name begin with an H?

Does not begin with an H. Do you know someone similar?

Does not begin with an H. Do you know someone similar?

I do Name's an abbreviation of Henrietta. Can't stand her, haven't seen her for years. She'd be out of her forties now, though - and was never given to dashing about.

I think many people f/t with kids can spend an evening dinner/drinks with out a timer ticking but people have different commitments and preferences

It is odd, especially if her approach to these strangers was completely random and apparently unsought. I don't understand why they didn't give her the brush off.

I have a friend who is a bit like this. We were out for after work drinks (6-8 type thing) in a group of about 10 women. Three of us, including friend, were leaving together to catch our train. As we left the bar, friend went across to a group of much much younger men, completely unbidden, and said that we were leaving but there were half a dozen other old enough to be their mothers women who might like their company .

The guys were like . Friend thought nothing of it, the rest of us were mortified. It's weird.

Is this a satc episode