To be perplexed by this?

[gardenangels]

Four of us arrange to have a coffee together to celebrate. Was arranged by Clarissa who is close friends with all of us. We all know each other but Clarissa glues us together.

We get to coffee shop Clarissa starts a conversation with a random stranger and then goes to join their table for 40 minutes. By the time she comes back we are ready to leave...

Yes, that makes sense. Has she ever behaved like this before?

Yesterday you said you didn't know what they were talking about other than her shouting something about the person's pram...

Not any of those things near enough to hear conversation

Maybe I misunderstood what you wrote

Sorry

It is strange that she arranged it and then just walked away... But it is a tricky situation to deal with.. What did the other girls think of it OP?

Utterly bizarre, utterly rude of her. My daunt told me my DM, her DSis, did this on their last weekend away. She buggered off to talk to total strangers and explained it by saying 'Well, I know you but I didn't know those people'.

Why did you not grab her back? That's even more odd. 5 minutes, OK, 40, well, I would have upped and left with a passive aggressive 'As you clearly don't actually want to spend time with us despite having arranged this, we're all off'. She was very rude.

Not any of those things meaning skills/advice. They were talking about children.

She can do this but only for a few minutes with people she knows.

Maybe she wanted to impress you all with how cool she is with her ability to just swan off and speak to randoms about stuff. Queen Bee and all that?

How have I been bitchy, needyandwhiney?

Oh, sorrry gardenangels, that isn't your name. Just sounded more apt

Definitely rude. Definitely unusual.

I hate making people wait for me so I hate being made to wait. I find it arrogant.

Try to ignore those laying into you here - it won't be about you. Posters do it on every thread.

I am more perplexed that none of you said anything to Clarissa.

Hardblob you launched in up thread with a really unnecessary bitchy comment. I won't be responding to any more of your comments as this is a thread not an opportunity for you to get the boot in.

We did not go over to get her as it would have caused embarrassment all round.

Also I don't feel I should be pointing out to a woman in her forties how to behave.

Ellahen I do feel sorry for posters who get so nasty on the threads. They must have miserable lives

Ah it's just a personality thing, I have a friend like Clarissa. Recently had a catch up with her in the pub with another friend. She spent the whole night talking to this girl at another table and by the end they had made plans to meet up again. My other friend and I just found it funny and had a nice time catching up!

It's just the way she is, she likes to know everyone. And to be fair when I moved to this area she was one of a couple of women who were super-friendly and helped me fit in.

The problem is that this behaviour is friendly to the strangers but pretty rude to the people you had arranged to meet especially as it was a birthday celebration that she arranged. I am amazed that people find this behaviour acceptable. Why on earth would anyone ever arrange to meet someone like this again?

Has she done anything like this before?

I don't find her behaviour acceptable and in your position I would have gone over to her to ask if she was coming to join you or not. I can't see anything embarrasing about that.

People are people. They do random things and don't always behave in ways you would hope them to. People can surprise you. You just weigh it up in your mind and decide whether she is a friend you want to spend time with in future or not. But one thing none of us can do is control what others choose to do. You either accept them as they are, warts and all, or decide you don't want to associate with them again.

I used to have a male friend who did things like this. He would strike up random conversations with strangers who usually looked, well, perplexed but would politely talk to him, whilst we, his actual friends, looked on bemused.

In his case he was very emotionally needy, possibly with some kind of PD.

Previous posters have already asked you this question but you aren't answering it - does she have form for this sort of behaviour?

This is the first time I have gone out with her in a group. If we are together and she sees someone she knows she strikes up a conversation and leaves me waiting in the street for a long time until she finishes. She always starts the conversations.