girl in boys changing room. wibu to speak to coach.

[Madeyemoodysmum]

I'm prepared to be flamed but this has been bothering me for a few weeks now so I wanted to get some views

My DD and ds swim and we have separate changing areas. I leave dd aged 10 to sort herself out and I help ds aged 8 in the boys

They are children's lessons so no adults changing at all many other mums and dads are present in the boys but it's just women in the girls unless boys are under 8.

Anyway to get to the point it's all boys changing in the boys except one girl who is clearly in the throws of puberty. She has very definite signs. It's her dad who brings her in and he gives her no privacy at all. Last week she was covering herself with her arms. I feel so awful for her. I would not expect my DD to change in the boys at that age. Dad seems oblivious. Would it be totally out of order to say something to the coach. I don't think any of the boys have noticed but there are also men in there and I'm not for a moment suggesting they are looking but the girl is clearly uncomfortable.

Maybe the father of the DD is question prefers his child in same changing room as him to protect her from men in the women's changing room protecting their DD's from men in their helping their DC change.

I'm just surprised there's so many adults helping children get changed.

It's just easier if they are all together isn't it.

i use the family rooms lol This is all mental

Peach, that post hurts my brain!

8 year old boys don't really need help drying and dressing, they just need chivvied along or they take a bleedin age, forget their stuff, lose a sock, muck around etc etc etc which makes the whole after school swimming (if indeed it is) more of a pita than it already is.

I assume there are not enough men to supervise boys which is why ladies are in the male changing room.

If you read the OP's posts you will see that all the boys are under ten (there are no adult men changing) and she would stand outside if they were embarrassed by her presence.

Girls tend to develop and become self conscious about their bodies at a younger age than boys - that is why women in the male changing room is different to men in the female changing room given the age of the children. If the boys were slightly older and uncomfortable changing in front of women they should only be supervised by men.

Where does the op suggest she is 'perving' at anyone?!
Noticing something doesn't mean she's perving! Ridiculous overreaction imo.

This whole situation baffles me, I would never go with DD to get changed after swimming, she's done it herself since I can remember! Same goes for going to the loo.

Far too much helicopter parenting going on!!

This baffles me. My 7 year old changes alone. If he needs telling to hurry up I shout through the door. I don't know why op is in the men's changing room.

OP, I hope you are still reading this. YANBU and I think you need to do something about it, though not sure if telling the coach is necessarily the right thing. Something similar happened to me, and I think it is appalling that a 10 year old showing signs of puberty is changing in a changing room full of boys and men. At the very least there should be a towel held around her with the people holding it facing the other way. My memories of that time have never left me and still affect me. It is humiliating for the child and emotionally abusive, in my opinion, and the other adults are behaving in an irresponsible way.

Why Didn't you say you were changing somewhere more private?

Why are so many adults all of a sudden confused by the meaning of single sex changing rooms? Its really very simple. Go in the one that is the same as your gender/sex. Once your child is over 8, make them do the same. If this is not possible, speak to the club to find a solution

abitshocked what about the poor boys changing in front of women and girls? Op should get out of that changing room. Dont give her sympathy.

I've been in a similar situation, Where i needed help from my mum dressing / drying over the standard age. While it's not exactly the most pleasent thing in the world, sometmes it has to be done.
The whole thing was built around the fact "Noone would notice if we change quickly." I would have felt completely embarrassed if someone had highlighted this situation to us pointing out what we already knew.

This isn't wholly relevant to the thread but I thought it should be pointed out. The poster near the top asking why Andrew should object to girls seeing him naked is an Egosumguisum not Egosumquisum. I thought^ it didn't sound like Ego.

Oooh, good spot empress, I'd had the same thought.

Hmm...coincidence? Or has some fecker decide to try and be ego?

I didn't think you were supposed to choose a nickname so close to another poster. There was a Purpledasies around for a while but I glared at her a lot and she went away.

If you're come out pro monarchy ego, I'll shoot you

I've been thinking about this, it really highlights a lack of family changing rooms. The families / men / women children are going into the mens when they should be in a family area.

Feel for the girl. My mum used to make me get changed beside the pool on holiday and just brush off anything i said. I was so embarrassed especially when other kids teased me one time.