girl in boys changing room. wibu to speak to coach.

[Madeyemoodysmum]

I'm prepared to be flamed but this has been bothering me for a few weeks now so I wanted to get some views

My DD and ds swim and we have separate changing areas. I leave dd aged 10 to sort herself out and I help ds aged 8 in the boys

They are children's lessons so no adults changing at all many other mums and dads are present in the boys but it's just women in the girls unless boys are under 8.

Anyway to get to the point it's all boys changing in the boys except one girl who is clearly in the throws of puberty. She has very definite signs. It's her dad who brings her in and he gives her no privacy at all. Last week she was covering herself with her arms. I feel so awful for her. I would not expect my DD to change in the boys at that age. Dad seems oblivious. Would it be totally out of order to say something to the coach. I don't think any of the boys have noticed but there are also men in there and I'm not for a moment suggesting they are looking but the girl is clearly uncomfortable.

I take a bunch of kids to a sports club. Under 8s can change wherever, over 8 in their own sex's changing room only. SN kids can go with a parent or carer to the disabled changing room. Much better system.

I would talk to the club and get all those mums out of the boys' room at the same time as allowing a pubescent girl into the girls' room.

I would concentrate on making sure members of your family are in the correct changing area op so that means you no longer going in the boys. Let the club deal with any other children, mums and dads who are in the wrong area.

Actually if the girl does have some requirement for extra assistance, the disabled facilities might be the most appropriate...

Oh my God another one of these threads! I find them exhausting yet strangely compelling!

I don't think I have ever been in a male changing room. If ds needed me still aged 8, he'd come into the female changing room with me. Same for toilets. Otherwise the dad of the uncomfortable girl could go into the female changing room with her by the same reasoning you use for being in the male. Seems a total mess and just mixed rooms anyway.

OP, why don't YOU go in the ladies' with your DD and offer to take the other girl in as well if the father doesn't like leaving her on her own?

It sounds like there are plenty of adults in the men's changing room if your DS should need a bit of help.

Your right papillon. It's a total mess!!!

But as I said I don't make the rules

Anyway. I wish I'd never asked so will no longer be responding and I have asked Mumsner to remove.

Oops....Not sure Mnhq will remove thread but good luck!

They don't tend to delete threads unless there is identifying information or they are complete fights. Mind you, this might still happen.

Our swim school says
Kids over 8 go in their own sex/gender room.
Adults go in with tiny swimmers, so they change too.
Only for the first lesson of the day.

Never had a problem with this.

^why is the op so obsessed with another family's (pre)pubescent DD?
Isnt a woman in the male changing room perving at children a bit creepy?^

FFS! She just noticed the girl looked uncomfortable! It's easy enough to notice that kind of thing. If you think that is "perving at children" you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

To be fair soup, while i don't think the OP intended it that way, she has mentioned this girls body an uncomfortable amount of times.

... and she is in the male changing room, so is she also noticing how uncomfortable the boys are with her looking at them?

No she hasn't.

I wasn't expecting such an attack so I'm going to ask for this thread to be removed.

Have you never even read a thread in AIBU?

Can you imagine how this thread would have went if a man had said he was in the women's changing room with his DD and was posting about pubescent children.

On what grounds do you think it should be deleted? Just hide the thread if you don't like the answers. It's easy to do.

I don't understand why you're in the men's either.

I'm just surprised there's so many adults helping children get changed

This. How do they have time to sit around on MN and check out the lifeguards?

No she hasn't.

She's mentioned it enough to make people uncomfortable, if you are not, then great. But you can't speak for everyone.

I'm with soup.
And I don't agree with the logic the girl can just tell her parents if she's uncomfortable, because presumably she would have already done so if it was that simple.

There does seem to be a lot of helicoptering around. My five year old goes to the toilet alone and changes himself after swimming.
Perhaps that's just my 'benign neglect' parenting though

All 8 plus should be the correct sex changing rooms. Then both girls and boys will mess about so we might all be a bit mute sympathic to each other