Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

MiL has booked a holiday

122 replies

Bails2014 · 07/07/2016 12:27

MiL has rented a house in Cornwall for the week and family are coming and going as they like, we're going down for a few days.

The holiday starts tomorrow, today she has sent 'details', directions and yes she has rented a cot and highchair.

AIBU to want a little more bloody information? Dogs are coming, we have an 18 month old, are there stairs, is she taking food, I hate disorganisation, I like to plan, I have a bloody toddler I can't just chuck clean pants in a bag and be happy, I don't want a detailed itinerary but I'd like some bloody idea of what is happening.

Annoyingly I cannot find a website for the cottage by googling the address so I can't even work it out for myself. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

OP posts:

JudyCoolibar · 07/07/2016 17:32

Why didn't you ask these questions before agreeing to go?

I don't remember ever carrying stairgates with me when we rented holiday cottages when the DC were little. We just made sure doors were closed and kept them away from the stairs. Generally we didn't spend that much time when they were awake in the cottage anyway.

RJnomore1 · 07/07/2016 17:35

Op I get you! I'm a terrible planner, it's not about being ungrateful at all it's about needing to know things are ok. Cornwall is beautiful but it's big and shops close early in some villages and what if you don't have an essential...etc etc. Sometimes I think going on holiday, ANY holiday, is so stressful I would be better not going at all...

And people not giving me the info I need to be organised would make me want to sit in a corner and rock.

I can promise you now though that when you get there it will be fine, you will be able to find or improvise everything you need, and you will have a great time. It does people like you and me good st times to be taken out our comfort zones and see the world does not end.

It may not do our blood pressure or wine consumption any good though...🍷

IamnotaStepfordHousewife · 07/07/2016 18:15

I have anxiety issues and this would stress me out. I like to know exactly where I'm going and what's available so completely understand why the op is getting stressed. Just take a stairgate if you can fit it and as people said food for at least 24hrs and lots and lots of wine 🍷 / chocolate 🍫.

scaryteacher · 07/07/2016 18:34

Cornwall is beautiful but it's big and shops close early in some villages and what if you don't have an essential...etc etc....and there's a Co-Op, a Tesco and a Spar in most towns. It's hardly the arse end of civilisation.

jmh740 · 07/07/2016 18:48

Can you give her a ring/text and ask if you need to take anything? I'm sure you can manage stairs for a couple of days if there is any take enough food for the first day and enough food for the dogs you will probably need cot bedding. Then sort everything else out when you get there

whattheseithakasmean · 07/07/2016 18:57

In fairness, the OP has a toddler and no one else has ever had one before or knows how very hard her life is looking after one child. Jeeez, way to harsh the buzz of a holiday, OP, you sound as much fun as a wet weekend inBognor.

NavyAndWhite · 07/07/2016 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mia1415 · 07/07/2016 19:17

It's not the end of the world if you don't have a stair gate for a few days! I never had one & just watched my DS. Please calm down & just try & be grateful & have a good time

MatildaTheCat · 07/07/2016 19:21

Let your toddler run wild on one of the many beautiful beaches. Take 5 minutes to breathe deeply and be glad.

Toddler will be too knackered by teatime to run for the stairs very much.

Who stay in a holiday cottage waiting for a bored toddler to get into mischief? Go and have some fun. That's what holidays are for.

And try to look a tiny bit grateful.

milliemolliemou · 07/07/2016 19:34

Pack for two days for your toddler as you would do at home.
Pack for dogs including leads as you would do at home.
Too late now but I would have made a huge lasagne or casserole to take down as a thank you. But you and your DH will be able to do so when you get there.
Sort out safety issues when you get there.
Relax and say thank you to a very nice MIL.
Next time sort this out ahead of the week before.

Kittykatmacbill · 07/07/2016 19:51

Going to go against the flow here, but op, I get you. This is exactly the sort of thing my inlaws would do, and it drives me nuts. They want us to all go to ludicrous remote locations (Harris? Which pre toddler would have been a delight) hours from the nearest shop and then suggesting fantatastically toddler unsuitable activities (semi treacherous walks, a day of board games etc). Also they expect us to pay, so you we winning there...

Re meals and food I would have in touch earlier in the week, sorting out who was bringing what although maybe your dh does what my dh does and reverts to bring 15 when ever he is with his inlaws.

Also all those posters saying other people will help w ds? No way, that's when serious stuff goes wrong, other family members semi watching your kids...

2rebecca · 07/07/2016 20:49

It's an invite not a summons. I wouldn't agree to go somewhere with small kids unless I had all the details but then I have spare money and limited holidays so I'm not inclined to take up free holidays unless they really suit us as the money is a minor part of the holiday. Different if you are skint. If your attitude is "I don't know if we'll come or not we need more details" you should both have said that. Cornwall is 9+ hours from us so it would have to be wonderful to be worth traipsing down there if I had tiny tots.
Too many people on mumsnet seem happy to give control of their holidays to other family members and then just moan about it. Just say "I don't know we'll have to see" when the holiday s first suggested if you aren't keen.
Agree that your kids are always yours (plural) to watch wherever you are. expecting extended family to watch them is wishful thinking, especially if they're in a "but I'm on holiday" frame of mind.

Heidi42 · 07/07/2016 20:59

Todd Rundgren - I Saw the Light
JT can't stop the feeling
babe what would you say Hurricane smith
Get Lucky Daft Punk
Valerie Amy Winehouse
Dilemma Nelly and Kelly
and loads more these are all my happy ones btw

Charley50 · 07/07/2016 21:21

I like Morrisons.

ApocalypseSlough · 07/07/2016 22:57

I get you OP- it's stressful not knowing what to take and whether what you do take will be received with a

Aerfen · 07/07/2016 23:57

I cannot believe how nasty so many people are being to the OP!

There have been plenty of posts which are giving practical advice, and a few which are encouraging her to relax , all fine, but all the people attacking her for being ungrateful and so on are bang out of order!
You know nothing about the OP , her relationship with the MIL, what the MIL is like, or what her other in laws are like (who are also visiting the cottage), or if the MIL is genuinely kind or a control freak.
On top of that there is a dog there and some dogs can be a nightmare, badly behaved even unsafe around a toddler.
You dont know how crowded it will be either. It could be a lovely few days or on the other hand it could be claustrophobic and hellish, but she may have very good reasons to feel bulldozed into this by the MIL and DH, especially if it was arranged and she wasnt consulted.

Aerfen · 07/07/2016 23:59

2rebecca
Wise words.

MumOnACornishFarm · 08/07/2016 00:07

I hate it when my OHs family plans every last detail when we're doing something like this. It makes me feel completely stiffled. Personally I would be far happier to be given an address and just rock up without having every last thing planned. I hate it when other people try to organise me.

Relax OP, I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time.

JassyRadlett · 08/07/2016 00:12

Cornish, I'm completely the opposite. I like to plan, I like to pack efficiently and appropriarely, I hate wasting time on holiday faffing around because we didn't buy everything we needed when we had the chance, or because there was poor communication, or the fucking endless time wasting because no one can make a decision about how to spend the day or has spent any time looking at what the options are. I love being organised, I love making the most of my holidays, and I love avoiding unnecessary hassles through a little forethought.

As such, DH's family drive me absolutely spare.

MumOnACornishFarm · 08/07/2016 00:30

Jassy I feel your pain. OHs family drives me insane too, but it's because they're a family of runaway steamrollers. And despite thinking they can and should organise everyone around them, they still manage to waste loads of time faffing about.

I like to plan and be organised, but I don't want anyone doing it for me. My family is very laid back in this respect; everyone organises themselves and wouldn't dream of trying to organise one another. I would make sure I'm prepared with everything my OH and DS needs, and then I can't be let down or disappointed, and it's not a hassle for anyone else either. Ultimately I hate family holidays and would far rather it just be me, OH and DS doing our own thing, with nobody bossing us about! Different strokes for different folks.

AGirlCalledJohnny · 08/07/2016 02:18

I agree with the peeps saying chill OP. You're driving, pack as much shite as you think you'll need (I'm an inveterate over packer though) and scope the joint when you first get there to see what can stay in the car.

In your MiL's defence (yikes), I think you're genuinely underestimating how much we forget about these things as the years roll by. Mine are 11 and 9 and those early years are a total blur! I recently gave my friend's newborn a bottle and holy moly, I'd completely wiped how bloody long it took. It's like I'd rebooted! My mother is the best, helpful, listens, chips in, and there were still plenty of times she would do the whole "aren't you being a bit OTT, Johnny?" eye roll at me. Of course, that I remember

allowlsthinkalot · 10/07/2016 13:04

You sound like a pita. My dh is like you and his constant need to know what's happening and when has almost split us up. Not being able to do anything spontaneously and hounding people who are doing a nice thing. It does my head in.

We have aN eighteen month old. Plus three other dc. We're going away this week. I have no idea what the plans are or where anyone is going to sleep until we get there. We don't even have a Stair Gate at home. Of course you can just chuck clothes in a bag and go, why on earth not?!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread