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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MiL has booked a holiday

122 replies

Bails2014 · 07/07/2016 12:27

MiL has rented a house in Cornwall for the week and family are coming and going as they like, we're going down for a few days.

The holiday starts tomorrow, today she has sent 'details', directions and yes she has rented a cot and highchair.

AIBU to want a little more bloody information? Dogs are coming, we have an 18 month old, are there stairs, is she taking food, I hate disorganisation, I like to plan, I have a bloody toddler I can't just chuck clean pants in a bag and be happy, I don't want a detailed itinerary but I'd like some bloody idea of what is happening.

Annoyingly I cannot find a website for the cottage by googling the address so I can't even work it out for myself. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bails2014 · 07/07/2016 13:14

Expect a thread from MiL about DiL's worrying wine habit Grin

I'm sure it will be fine, I'm just having a whinge!

OP posts:
ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 07/07/2016 13:15

The struggle is real.

IamaBluebird · 07/07/2016 13:15

Lots of wine and a nice cake. Have a lovely time CakeWine

KittensandKnitting · 07/07/2016 13:17

I'm a big planner OP and would want to know all the boxes are ticked so to speak, doesn't make me ungrateful just that I can't relax without planning things I am not a very spontaneous person sends me into a cold sweat.

DP is exact opposite, wings everything - before a holiday abroad his attitude is "long as I have my passport and wallet I can buy anything else"

Terrifies me :)

pilates · 07/07/2016 13:17

I'm sure there will be enough adults between you to look after one toddler and a dog.

Relax you may even enjoy yourself.

Aerfen · 07/07/2016 13:26

Bails2014

I suspect that underlying this is you don't really want to go?

Your MIL has basically 'bought' time with her family by renting a cottage which she knows will offer an appealing holiday and she will get to spend more time with her children and grandchildren. There is nothing wrong with that, it could explain if you feel bulldozed.

I can understand why you maybe dont much want to spend this time with your in laws but it is only a few days, and you dont have to be with them all the time. Maybe speak to DH and tell him you dont want to spend every minute of the day with them and want to get out for trips on your own, maybe even take advantage of having family to babysit and go out for a meal together? If you plan a day out just for yourselves, in advance, that might make you feel better? But remember it is his family and perhaps he doesnt get to be with brothers and sisters very much, so what for you feels claustrophobic for him is a great chance to catch up.

ExitPursuedByABear · 07/07/2016 13:30

It will pour with rain the entire time you are there.

catgirl1976 · 07/07/2016 13:34

What everyone else said

She's booked and paid for a holiday for all her family

Family that can come and go as they like in a chilled out, non demanding manner

She's booked a high chair and cot

She's sent details and directions

Sorry but you sound like a nightmare. Pack what you would normally pack if you were going away. Take a pop up stair gate if you are worried. They have food in Cornwall as far as I know. Ask her if you have any questions.

And try saying "Thank you"

SnakeWitch · 07/07/2016 13:41

I kind of get it. It sounds like the OP is expecting the holiday to be more hard work than being at home which is the exact opposite of the point of a holiday (which she has had no say in)

All the cottages I have been to have been well equipped for toddlers so you should be ok. Think you just have to go with it, you might have fun!

Aerfen · 07/07/2016 13:42

"Sorry but you sound like a nightmare"

Why is the OP a 'nightmare' if in her heart she doesn't want to go on holidays with her in laws and dog?
Is that so awful?
I cannot believe that its the 'organisation' that lies at the bottom of this, though and the OP needs to clarify what her real issue is, and try to deal with it.

Thymeout · 07/07/2016 13:47

We used to have multigenerational hols in a 3 storey house in Cornwall. Usually around 16 of us, sometimes with livestock. There was a cot, but no stairgates or high chair. Think I used a carseat or a buggy.

I just took clothes and a sharp knife.

We went native - you know, used the same shops as the locals.

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 07/07/2016 14:11

She could at least have given you enough time to get your vaccinations done. You do know that Cornwall is in the grip of a dengue outbreak right now don't you?
And then there's the nuclear dust cloud, the poisoned water, the zombies and the undead walking the night looking for victims AND that fucking gorilla on the run from the zoo.

I bet the selfish mare hasn't told you any of that has she?

ENormaSnob · 07/07/2016 14:18

Yabu.

Unclench and enjoy!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 07/07/2016 14:33

Holidays with toddlers are generally just childcare in less convenient locations. Start with low expectations and build up from there.

verite · 07/07/2016 14:42

Gosh this is so sad. I live several hours away from both parents and in laws and always make an effort to spend a week with both at some point in the year so they can spend time with their grandkids. Obviously my in laws sometimes annoy me, but I suck it up because it is important to both my husband and children that they spend time together. The idea that spending a few days with the in laws is too awful to be contemplate fills me with dread for the time when I too am a MIL.

Andylion · 07/07/2016 14:47

Family that can come and go as they like in a chilled out, non demanding manner
Maybe not. May the MiL has given very little info because she wants to control everything? The OP has asked for info and was given very little. Or at least, he DH was given the info.

londonrach · 07/07/2016 15:01

Balls..enjoy your holiday. Looking forward to the mil aibu post about drunken dil when mil has hired a cottage in cornwall. Can i suggest one thing pack waterproofs... The only time i ve been to cornwall it rained none stop until we left!

Binkermum29 · 07/07/2016 15:22

Tea-bags, loo paper and a sharp knife for the cutted up pear. Sorted.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/07/2016 15:32

Venting on here is very useful it gets it out of your system.
it's Cornwall not Mars LOL.

hellsbellsmelons · 07/07/2016 15:42

Whinge away, that's what we are here for.
You have made me LOL though.
Try to keep off of the wine until midday and then she can't complain!
I hope you do have a nice time.

minipie · 07/07/2016 15:55

If you don't want to go then you need to tell your DH that.

If you do want to go then go...

Assume you are feeding yourselves and toddler, so bring food or expect to buy it there
Assume there are stairs, so take stair gate if you can't cope with supervising him
If you want to know about ponds, local facilities etc then look the place up on the internet

I'm a planner too but it's really not that hard.

scaryteacher · 07/07/2016 16:45

We have Tesco, Sainsbury and Waitrose in Cornwall, plus Morrisons if you are desperate. We have wine, tea bags, and some of us have managed to live there and raise our kids without too much inconvenience.

I wish I were going home to Cornwall instead of stuck in Brussels marking GCSEs. I'll trade you?

Noodledoodledoo · 07/07/2016 17:16

Use doors instead of stair gates, I am sure most cottages will have a room with one on you can keep toddler in.

We have a similar aged child and managed to stay at my Dad's for a week and just kept toddler busy - easy with two of you plus other adults and the stairs barely even got noticed except when we were going up or down them.

Personally I can't be bothered with lugging a stair gate around with me if we go away! If it causes an issue put something in front of it toddler can't move!

FoxyLoxy123 · 07/07/2016 17:23

You sound like you need to get out more to be so het up about something like this. I like to plan too, but you can't plan everything to your standards all the time. Just ask her, better yet, next time, ask her before the very last minute when she's probably really busy sorting stuff out.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 07/07/2016 17:25

I've been to Cornwall many times. They have shops there. In fact we once went there with toddler twins and survived. We even managed to buy food and nappies; oddly enough Cornish children also need these. Make up an itinerary as you go along. Go with the flow Smile

Don't bother with a stairgate. Drag a heavy piece of furniture across instead.

Or maybe this thread is actually a joke?