To be really angry at the letter received from nursery?

[Pinkbabe1]

DD goes to nursery twice a week, mornings only and I collect her at 12.30

Today I was 6 mins late picking her up as my son had a massive shite explosion 5 mins before we were due to set off and it took me a while to clean him up, hence being 6 mins late. This is the first time it has happened in the whole time she has been there apart from when my son was first born and I told them on dropping her off I would be late collecting as he had his injections (was told no problem)

Anyway, got to the door and was promptly handed a letter to which i read when I got home. It was a "late collection policy" letter which basically said that for every minute you are late collecting there will be a £1 charge in future - fair enough. However it then went on to say that as I had been persistently late (!) this could be considered neglect and abandonment in extreme cases!!! I was absolutely flabbergasted and immediately emailed the nursery. I am yet to receive a response.

I have since spoken to another parent at the nursery who said they received the same letter after being 2 mins late to collect their daughter, therefore a generic letter.

AIBU to think this is really a harsh thing to put in a letter?! I don't think it was at all necessary but maybe I'm wrong and this is normal?!?!

It's bonkers to think SS would care about occasional (or even persistent) lateness alone BUt as a FT working parent I spend my life dreading being late (or even getting there are 6pm closing time) for nursery.
I spend my working life worrying about it. So I am quite taken back that you seem quite relaxed at the 5 mins late, but I suppose 2 mornings a week isn't proper childcare so maybe you don't take it as seriously as me

It would be better if generic letter just outlined nursery late policy, tbh it just sounds like bad wording. You can't expect nursery staff to write individually tailored letters though - they have enough things to be doing in the day than to faff about doing that. I'll agree with a pp - late pick ups aren't just inconvienient. By you being late they have to keep more staff on. By the time your child has been handed over, the day explained to you, any messages given, they use the loo/nappy changed, bag and coat and other drawings etc given, that could easily be another 10 minutes. Which could mean a member of staff finishing 15 minutes later than they should have, but they won't get paid that 15 minutes. And there's a need to treat people the same and not use discretion because different practitoners have different opions.

What I did find odd was that the letter said "this applies to 3.15 and 5.30pm collections" I collect my DD at 12.30 as she only does a morning session

then it doesn't apply to you anyway and you have even less reason than you thought to be so outraged.
Take a chill pill.

Just say next time you've given me the wrong letter, it must've been meant for someone who was late in the evening

Btw if you book you daughter in for, and pay for, extra hours, you're not late when you pick up

I wouldn't be at all outraged. I know that being even two minutes late causes our nursery all sorts of problems in terms of insurance, good practice, not to mention that is two minutes the staff probably desperately need to live their own private lives and perhaps collect their own children. You have obviously been late more than once, OP, and this is the standard letter telling you what line they take. And it's a standard line to take.

Calpol - where have I said that I was relaxed? I practically ran to the gates! I am always early to collect her so certainly don't make a habit of strolling in relaxed about it. Also, not proper childcare?! Out of interest what determines what is "proper childcare?" I pay enough in fees out of my wages to feel that it is proper childcare.

Not sure where the comments about me being outraged have come from yes I'm upset about it and was looking for views on whether its standard to put the line about "neglect and abandonment" in letters as I thought it was OTT.

Manaboutadog - if you read my posts it's the first time I've been late since she started there apart from the once I paid for her to stay for lunch.

Accusing you of being persistently late when you haven't been. There's a word for that. Is there not.

It puts pressure on them if you are late as they have to have the correct staffing and allow for breaks. When I worked at a pre-school we had a couple of persistent offenders. A letter was sent out to all parents saying a charge would be added. They miraculously managed to be on time then. I can't abide lateness and I am always early.

2 mornings a week isn't childcare, no. More like pre school light.

By relaxed i meant the sorting out explodapoo first. Honestly the bloody car could explode and I'd think twice about letting it make me 5 mins late. Nursery comes first!

Bye lateness doesn't cause Insurance problems. That's a MN myth

Don't be a prick calpol if her child is in the care of a registered childcare or establishment it's proper childcare no matter if it's 1 hour or 40

Haha ok calpol! Silly me sorting out my son that was fully covered in shit! Terrible excuse for a mother! Also terrible that I only put her in 2 mornings a week because her grandparents want her the rest of the time whilst I am at work. Should put her in full time really

Well it's just a little visit. Like an extended baby group

There's always one calpol. You are the type of mother that I can't abide at the nursery - stuck up their own ass Good to know you would carry a shit covered child to nursery and drive home with them and you covered in it. Says a lot about you bleurgh

I think the letter's completely over the top.
For me this would suggest that the nursery management don't have good judgement -- if you can't tell the difference between 6 minutes late and "neglect and abandonment", how do you have the good judgement to make good childcare decisions? And I want to trust the judgement of the people who take care of my DC.
I get why places have a fee for late collection. I think they should be nice about it in the case of real emergencies, or maybe have one freebie a year, or whatever - our after school club has a very steep fee but didn't charge us for example the day DH had a cycle accident. If too many parents take the piss they have to do something about it, after all.
But threats veiled in child protection language? It's just bad on so many levels. It's manipulative, it's fear-mongering, it's hiding behind SS / child protection and it shows poor judgement!

I've been late once in 3years (amazing as I rely on a train to get me out the city centre) but they staff were very understanding and realise as a parent shit happens and you can't plan for someone leaping in front of a train etc. Most of the parents are in the same position relying on public transport. Yanbu at all to be furious to receive a letter like that. Surely they have some flexibility. What if you had been rushed to hospital. I'm actually fuming for. You

Nursery staff have lives and responsibilities of their own too. If parents are late picking up, staff can't get away to do what they need to do. It's bloody inconsiderate. At least nurseries can charge people. I work in a school and there are a couple of parents who think they can swan in 10 or 15 minutes later. There is absolutely nothing the head can do except tell them off when they arrive. They never listen. Also Op, you can't just 'tell' the nursery you will be late. You need to ask them or make alternative arrangements. I can't believe you got away with it then.

Bestthingever - I didn't "tell" them I asked them when I dropped her off and they said she could stay for lunch (to which I paid for her extra stay). Like I said previously, had they of said no I would have cancelled my sons jabs and waited for another slot. I certainly didn't expect them to keep her for another half hour and I paid for the extra time anyway.

£1 a min is cheap,some charge £30, and after half an hour they can phone socail services.

I don't dispute the £1 per min charge I think that's fair. I know one of the mums constantly turns up late at 5.30 collection which must be terrible for the staff that want to get home. I just wasn't keen on the wording of the letter and would have preferred the communication to be less harsh. Was wondering if all nurseries use this approach - that's all

Haven't read all the comments so maybe repeating. As a nursery nurse with four children of my own, I am often late collecting my own children because parents are late collecting theirs. Parents who think it's OK to arrive to collect their child at 7.10 (we close at 7) and then want to know about their child's day, how they've been, what they've eaten etc. This means we don't leave before 7.30. We didnt get paid for this overtime. We now charge £5 per 5 minutes or part thereof with the first 5 minutes free. The fines pay the staff who have stayed. It has cut down on the amount of parents who are late.

The fact that you are usually on time and have only been late twice does make the letter seem harsh. Our parents get a letter if they are late 3 times in a week or 5 times overall.

Just talk to the head about your concerns or email him/her. Redrafting the letter so it is less harsh for invalid offenders would be a good step for them - as well as making sure people know how to contact them when unavoidably late - but clearly you can't do that while driving. But clearly they need to rein in the parents who continually take the mickey and put the whole nursery in to jeopardy.

No point being furious if its generic. Sounds like its badly worded.

Just email them to set the record straight in writing. Make the statement that you have never previously been late and that therefore their letter is inaccurate. You can also say that you acknowledge the penalty charges.

Deathtoheadlice I couldn't agree more with your post. SS would laugh in the face of a nursery calling them to say a parent had been 6 mins late on one occasion and like you I would be seriously concerned about the ability of such an agency to make good decisions in relation to the welfare of children in their care. Handing out standard letters is fine for non-emotive issues (which this most certainly is not) but good practice now a days is for all agencies and organisations providing care services to operate in a person centred manner.

On another note I am disgusted at how the OP has been treated by some on this post. I think it was clear from the original post that she was mortified and panicked at being late, and I'm sure stressed out after dealing with the shite situation, and had no issue with the late fee whatsoever. However some people seem to feel it is acceptable to come on here and berate her for being late. The OP sounds intelligent enough to understand the implications of late pick ups in the nursery hence her warning them (and paying in advance!) on the previous occasion so I am sure didn't need the lengthy explanations about why she was being charged the late fee (SHE HAD NO ISSUE WITH THAT!!!!). These people make me stay away from mumsnet but it's them that should be ashamed and staying away!

I am a nursery manager and I think the letter is OTT. We have a published late fee, (not used it in 5 yrs). Parents are late, our main customer base comes in on the train so it's unavoidable. Staff are paid 15mins extra to cover the 'there by the skin on their teeth parents' and get lieu time for late stays.
We have an uncollected child policy, where we state we will call Ss if child is there an hour late and no contact can be made with any if the named individuals on their form.
Persistent late collection from Nursery along with other problems could be construed as a safeguarding issue but we are taking about regular very late collection with other issues too.