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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask whether your other half tries your patience in the car.

30 replies

Houseofmirth66 · 03/07/2016 14:41

Every car journey with my husband is filled with a non-stop rant about the traffic. I have pointed out that we are in a car and therefore are the traffic but he seems to expect the streets to be cleared, as if for a Presidential cavalcade, before he sweeps, unhindered, to B&Q. I've heard it thousands of times and am starting to fantasise about pushing him out of a moving vehicle.

OP posts:

Thecatmademedoit · 03/07/2016 14:45

Oh my goddddd yes.

Mine is the same but does over dramatic sighs regarding traffic.

Also comments on my driving until I tell him to shut up.

"Oh you were close to the kerb then !"

"Yes, however I am FULLY aware of the spatial dimensions of my car"

Bloody back seat driver.

EastMidsMummy · 03/07/2016 14:52

Please don't operate the 'fantasy brake' in the passenger footwell, you twat. Who's driving this thing?

peppercold · 03/07/2016 14:55

TheCat I get that, too close! Right full lock on, turn!

Thecatmademedoit · 03/07/2016 15:01

I also get "you started your car a bit quick then, heard it struggle a bit, pressure on the engine" - cue my death stare.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU START A CAR TOO QUICKLY?!

As a side note, my partner is not a mechanic. Just a pain.

Pico2 · 03/07/2016 15:13

Yes, even though he won't be driven. He is just full of rage at times. Though he is better than he used to be. I once nearly got him to drop me to a station when we were about 5 hours from home because he was being such a twat.

Stylingwax · 03/07/2016 15:15

I won't drive when my DP is in the car any more as he stresses me out so much commenting (or not commenting with meaning) that I actually become a dangerous driver.

lljkk · 03/07/2016 17:03

Mine wont' stop twitching if I am driving. Total plonker behaviour.

Witchend · 03/07/2016 17:03

Df's expressions while driving have often been quoted:
"Caravans should only be allowed to be driven between 2 and 3 in the morning" (when we're stuck behind one)
"Did you see that? Our relative speeds must have been nearly 80mph" (dm points out that df is going 50mph-the speed limit, which means the caravan would be around 30mph ie quite slow for the road)
"Should be shot" (minor driving infraction)
"Peddle a little harder"
"The accelerator's the one on the right."
"Oh look! They've discovered third gear."
"Are indicator's rationed?"
"Which way? Which way? Oh I'll just turn down here then..."
"Must be a quicker route. I'll try down here."
"This is the scenic route." (said after the latter two)
"I'm not paying a toll, we can avoid it this way" (said toll was 5p, yes 5p. We went 20miles out of the way to avoid it... more than once)
"Shouldn't be on the road..."
"Why does everyone want to go the same way as us?"
"Move over. Don't they know we're in a Volvo?"

They're (mostly) said with good humour and when he's driving. He's actually a good driver.

Eminado · 03/07/2016 17:09

thecat

"I also get "you started your car a bit quick then, heard it struggle a bit, pressure on the engine" - cue my death stare"

😂😂😂
How is he still alive?

chinam · 03/07/2016 17:12

I've told DH if he presses imaginary pedals again I will kick him out of the car. Amazingly, I am a fabulous driver when he wants to have a few drinks...

ShatnersBassoon · 03/07/2016 17:16

DH is a good passenger. He has accepted that I'm a better driver than he is.

Playduh · 03/07/2016 17:19

We have an understanding. If he feels the need to comment on my driving, I'm very happy to sit in the passenger seat, possibly sleeping

mogloveseggs · 03/07/2016 17:21

Nope
He doesn't drive so isn't allowed to criticise and the he wouldn't dare. 4 year old ds however is a real back seat driver

Pinkheart5915 · 03/07/2016 17:24

My DH doesn't tell me how to drive my car, he'd be walking if he did because I know I'm the best and I don't say anything about his driving when in his car either.

Topseyt · 03/07/2016 17:31

DH and I are not made to get on in the car. We are just total opposites there.

I think he drives too fast and will say so, he thinks the opposite of me. There is no middle ground. I grin and bear it when I must, and he has got generally better as he has got older.

He does seem to think that he should never have to stop anywhere when driving. If we were going somewhere we haven't been before I would be reading the road map (I am talking pre satnavs). If we had to stop somewhere like roadworks or traffic lights, or got behind slow traffic then he would almost immediately start with "there must be another way", and it would drive me nuts. Yes maybe there would be another way if we drove through the middle of a field and got stuck!!

I was always enjoyed reading road maps, got well used to them and didn't make too many mistakes, but the frustrating thing was that whilst DH wanted me to navigate, he often did not want to listen to his navigator. More than once I wondered why on earth I bothered and almost asked him to drop me at a station so that he could get himself lost make his own way to wherever we were going without me.

Rinoachicken · 03/07/2016 17:31

Yep! I don't drive so my husband is always the driver. He also used to be a driving instructor. Which means I have to sit the a CONSTANT running commentary of him moaning and botching about how all the other drivers are idiots/breaking the rules of the road etc.

Does my head in massively.

Stiddleficks · 03/07/2016 17:34

My dh doesn't drive but still manages to think he's better than everyone else. A quick reminder that if he knows so much he can just book his test is usually enough to stop him. That or I pull into a lay by or side road and refuse to drive us anywhere until he stops overreacting.
I have twice driven off without him so he had to get a bus or walk home

MrsPear · 03/07/2016 17:57

I don't drive but I have driven h mad many a time. Mainly by taking sharp intake of breath or suddenly gripping the door handle or going 'ahh' as he goes over a bridge or some such when my stomach hits my mouth. I asked my dad one Christmas, a driving instructor, to go with him for fags to see if it is me. H didn't know dad was judging. My dad said his style was not smooth and a little too fast. I'm glad it is not just me. He also talks / texts and checks his phone.

sugarapplelane · 03/07/2016 18:02

Yes, but he also says the same of me

MissCalamity · 03/07/2016 18:04

DP & I have just had a bit of a nightmare journey home from the park, him saying my driving is aggressive. To be fair I was getting a tad annoyed with the Sunday driver in front of me straying over both lanes & driving 25mph. I still gave them plenty of room, but was muttering under my breath.
Then we were waiting to turn right & the lights turned to red but the car in front of me didn't go so we were blocking the other side of the traffic, so I beeped twice, and he accused me of driving up her arse, surely you just get out of the way as quickly as possible? (plus I was only up her arse to turn)
We're not speaking now

Huldra · 03/07/2016 18:11

My husband gets really stressy about cars not letting him in when he needs to change lane. BUT his hand is ready by the indicator to start indicating as he pulls out. The amount of times I have to tell him that they can't fucking mind read and if he indicates they will know what he is trying to do. All they see is a scowling man who is randomly speeding and slowing down.

Laiste · 03/07/2016 18:12

YANBU

DH has zero, and i mean ZERO tolerance to the slightest hold up longer than apx 10 seconds. Straight into 'Oh my god what a waste of my day why did we decide to do this' mode. Dramatic throwing himself about in the seat and huffing and puffing.

As for back seat driving, 9 times out of 10 he's fine. My driving is very good and he will happily say so.

ONE time though - oooohhh and i haven't let him forget it - he decided to wave the traffic on across my path from his position in the passenger seat and then did the 'that's ok' hand signal thing when they thanked him! I was like Hello!? Driver here! Am i invisible?!

Betrayedbutsurvived · 03/07/2016 18:28

ExH once put the car in neutral as I was driving along a duel carriageway at 60. I had no idea what had happened or why the car was slowing down. His excuse that I wasn't using the gears as I should, and therefore might as well be in neutral. He really was a cock of the highest order.

lljkk · 03/07/2016 22:28

It has to be almost pitch black outside before DH will turn on the headlights. He goes with running lights from dim to nearly pitch black conditions.

If you held a gun to his head he would never put full beam on because someone 6 miles away might see it.

Let's just say we don't often go anywhere together.

yolofish · 03/07/2016 22:32

mine breathes very annoyingly, and that is enough to make me incandescent with rage. but also seems to tolerate my driving when he wants to drink... worst is that DD1 has now had a whole TWO driving lessons and is a complete expert. I change gear wrong apparently, after driving for 30 years.

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