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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to tell this man to STFU!!

28 replies

CheesecakeWarrior · 30/06/2016 00:24

Very outing. Probably.

Currently sat in a&e at children's hospital with ds1. We've been here 6hours now and only had the basic info taken by a nurse when we arrived.
A couple with their dd arrived not long before us and also still waiting.
There's been a major paediatric trauma incident which is what is keeping the doctors from seeing us.

My aibu. This guy has gone on and on and on ad infinitum about how ridiculous this is, he's not happy, he's making a complaint.... Non bloody stop!!

Yes it's late, yes it's been a hell of a long night but neither of us have a child in a critical, life or death situation unlike some other poor baby's parents. Surely a little empathy wouldn't go a miss?

I bloody want to go home but I'm also bloody thankful these doctors, nurses & all the other staff are here saving people. Worth a bit of a wait.

Just had to have a bit of a rant. Aibu to think this man is a prize prat?

OP posts:
laurenwiltxx · 30/06/2016 00:26

YANBU. I get annoyed at this. Moaning wont make it go any quicker.

BastardGoDarkly · 30/06/2016 00:27

Is it the Dad of the child in front? He's probably just stressed to fuck, do your best to block him out, hopefully he'll be seen soon.

Wishing your dd a speedy recovery Flowers

KoalaDownUnder · 30/06/2016 00:28

YANBU.

I once spent a night sitting in A&E of a large London hospital, and these pathetic attitudes were more trying than the wait itself.

BastardGoDarkly · 30/06/2016 00:28

Sorry, DS😊

TheWitTank · 30/06/2016 00:32

Can you move out of earshot? Yanbu, of course it is shit having to wait for hours, but some poor parent and child are suffering -it's not like they line jumped gleefully.

Original poster
CheesecakeWarrior · 30/06/2016 00:33

Yes he's the dad. I did think that. I should probably have more empathy for him too. It's so frustrating though. He doesn't appear to see any of the good going on, just his inconvenience.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheesecakeWarrior · 30/06/2016 00:36

Oh he just made a commitment in our direction about the cost of parking so I agreed but said I'd still rather that than be in a trauma situation with my child. He just nodded. Maybe he'll stop now.
I think I said it nicely Confused I hope I did

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 30/06/2016 00:38

YANBU. I once had a 13 hour wait in A&E when they'd had unprecedented admittance - 2 heart attacks and a 3 car RTA. I didn't mind waiting if it meant someone else lived but another there with a broken arm had brought his wife and FIVE children along (broken arm meant he couldn't drive) and he shouted and complained all night that he was in pain. A nurse eventually told him he was welcome to visit the next nearest A&E (about a 20 minute drive). He piped down then.

BastardGoDarkly · 30/06/2016 00:44

Well handled I think cheesecake Brew

ColdTeaAgain · 30/06/2016 00:44

I would of made a similar comment OP. Sounds like he needed reminding what goes on in ED tbh. I think so many people completely forget what sorts of things the doctors and nurses could be dealing with and how many staff one major trauma patient requires.
Hope your Ds is feeling better soon

WTAFisgoingon · 30/06/2016 00:55

YANBU!

Of course, in an ideal situation that hospital would have the resources to deal with everyone.... But the NHS is pretty fucked and there is clearly nothing the man can do about this by moaning.

LilySnape · 30/06/2016 00:58

I was sat in A&E for 6hrs with DP back in April having an Excruciating miscarriage and i didnt complain neither did DP there was clearly nothing the doctors could do to stop me miscarrying and i just had to sit and let nature do its thing all while people were having heart attacks in triage and there were about 6 staff in total on a friday night Hmm he sounds like a total tosser. Ive also been on the other side of the doors with a relative dying and doctors trying to save them and i definatly didnt que jump gleefully!.

BoatyMcBoat · 30/06/2016 01:02

OK so his child doesn't have her life hanging in the balance, but maybe she's in pain and scared, and her parents are scared and he can't do anything to make it better or go away. Maybe this is the third time this week.

Original poster
CheesecakeWarrior · 30/06/2016 01:05

Hallelujah! He's just been taken in & reassured the doctor that the delay was no problem Hmm

Alls well that ends well & all that.

Thank you, hoping we'll get patched up & avoid an admission

OP posts:
Original poster
CheesecakeWarrior · 30/06/2016 01:06

Good point boaty Sad

OP posts:
AnthonyPandy · 30/06/2016 01:26

But him shouting will only be adding to the scared feeling.

Noodledoodledoo · 30/06/2016 06:14

I had this when I was admitted for apendicitis at 15 weeks pregnant. Had spent 5 hours on early pregnancy unit then transfered to a&e for another 4 hour wait. They were rammed so just got on with it as not in huge amount of pain.

After I had been there about 8 hours in total a family came in with a poorly elderly lady. Started moaning instantly, colla red a poor nurse to chase when they would e seen. I loved this nurse as she went to check and came back and said fairly loudly - you will be seen soon but you only arrived 9 minutes ago!

I did have a smile to myself!

myownprivateidaho · 30/06/2016 06:39

I think you're being a bit harsh to imply he doesn't care about the child in trauma. Of course long waiting times are caused by prioritisation of the most serious cases - but they're also caused by understaffing. Wanting a better staffed nhs and thinking that it's not on that you have to wait for hours in a and e does not mean that you think very ill people should be chucked out of their hospital beds. It IS shocking that people have to wait 6 hours in a and e.

JennyBunn · 30/06/2016 06:50

Cheesecake we used to have that ALL the bloody time in the antenatal clinic (I'm a midwife). Patient's partners/husbands having a right go at us about waiting times when there was clearly nothing we could do to speed up waiting times, all patients were waiting to see doctors.

When they were called in to see the consultant, he would apologise about the waiting time to which the complainer would say "it's ok doctor, we can see how busy you are" HmmAngry.

froubylou · 30/06/2016 06:56

My dp had a heart attack last year. I arrived at a and e to find him queued up in the ambulance as there were no resus bays available.

In one was a pissed up girl who was throwing up everywhere. In another there was a pissed up bloke who was getting his head stitched up after falling down some stairs. This was about 7pm on a Saturday not 2am.

That was a bit annoying.

00100001 · 30/06/2016 07:06

I hate people moaning about waiting times in A&E. I had to take DH a few months ago with kidney stones. we waited 30 minutes, to go into a sub-waiting room, which were in for about 2 hours or so, when we were seen, and the nurse basically adinistered pain relief etc there. We were never given a bed, nor were others.

But we didn;t complain and moan and groan, because we were chatting to the nurses on duty and other patients, turns out the next nearest A&E were turning people away they were being sent to ours, and whilst we were waiting they closed our A&E and were sending them on.

Because for some reason there was a combination of huge patient numbers and short staffing.

We just chatted to people and had a quite nice evening in the end. People were being lovely, and it reassured me about our fellow man. They were offering each other to get drinks. Helping them stand up/sit down, making sure their wheelchairs were facing the "right" way (into the waiting room) etc. One man even went and got a lady a blanket as she was cold. It was nice, people were saying hello to new arrivals and people were saying bye as they left. Quite a pleasant evening really, (all things considered!)

Moaning, shouting and whining would not have helped anything. However I understand that's how some people react.

TheCrumpettyTree · 30/06/2016 07:27

JennyBunn that's one of the things I hate about my job. Families who are rude and sometimes abusive to us nurses and other staff but are charming as soon as they see a doctor. It's just not acceptable.

KoalaDownUnder · 30/06/2016 08:45

The people I saw being arses in A&E were waiting for their teenage daughter to be seen...for a suspected broken toe.

I know this, because the stupid loud-mouthed mother had trumpeted all over the waiting room about how the daughter had kicked a wall whilst playing football with the son.

Both teens were screeching up and down corridors and fighting at the top of their voices, while the mother went ballistic every time a staff member hove into sight about how much pain her daughter was in.

This was on a Friday night in a major London hospital, mind.

Meanwhile, I was waiting to hear whether a friend who had been smashed into by a car was ever going to walk again.

Am not a violent person, but could have punched that woman. Sad

I take my hat off to all hospital staff, I really do. I've never seen such politeness and professionalism in the face of complete idiocy. Flowers

bluebloom · 30/06/2016 08:59

Yanbu. People need to get a fucking grip. It's free 24 hour health care. People are so entitled, so used to a culture of customer service. Hope your DS is feeling better.

MrsSparkles · 30/06/2016 10:40

Hope ds is better. Friends who work in a&e always said you should be glad if you're waiting as it's not that serious. Worry if you get rushed straight in. I understand it's frustrating but moaning doesn't help.

I was in a&e Monday night with dd2 and we were rushed straight in (possible meningitis), and I could see people were a bit pissed off as it was a 4 hour wait. Still in hospital now - any tips to pass the time!

I think what you said was perfect.

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