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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to ban primary school sports day?

394 replies

namechangingagainagain · 29/06/2016 09:20

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

OP posts:
Greenyogagirl · 30/06/2016 21:17

'I would hate to see any school event that made a child highlight their weak points in a competition. I would find it very uncomfortable to watch.'

Wow. Let's just not get our kids to participate in anything at all. How about 'no you're not the best at running but you are a brilliant artist' for example rather than 'if you're not the best don't bother trying' sheesh.

yvet · 30/06/2016 21:28

In my dcs school (in Ireland) they make sports day really fun. As well as races etc they play lots of games and have obstacle courses and bouncy castles. The best thing though is that the parents are not invited, it's a day for the children only. All of the children get a medal for competing and the emphasis is on fun rather than competition.

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 30/06/2016 21:33

Ours is tomorrow. I'm praying for rain.

However, I did win the mum's race, the only time I entered it. That was a proud moment but I was gutted not to get a sticker.

Statelychangers · 30/06/2016 21:40

A very dull afternoon, kids didn't like it, didn't teach them much, I'd happily see it banned. The kids who excel at sports do district sports day, only attended by the best from each school - is that not enough?

spankhurst · 30/06/2016 21:43

I have mixed feelings. Weak readers aren't told to read aloud in front of loads of parents. And lots of kids who aren't great at sports also aren't great at academics. It can be quite a stressful day for a lot of kids. (I teach primary age kids)

spankhurst · 30/06/2016 21:43

There's a lot of 'kids' in my post..

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 30/06/2016 21:46

I still have the certificate for when I won the egg-and-spoon race at school in the summer of 1967. One of my proudest moments Grin

Believeitornot · 30/06/2016 21:49

Sports are generally done in front of other people unless it is a solo sport?

Sport is good for everyone. I know people will disagree but it is because it is exercise. If children are taught a sport properly they'll find one that they like (hopefully) which will give them confidence which then spills out in to other parts of life.

Unfortunately most state schools do not have the time or money to invest in proper sports teaching across a variety of disciplines. So sports day becomes a bit of a silly spectacle.

YABU OP. Sports day is about getting active - I wholeheartedly support that because our children are getting fatter. can't deny it.

Statelychangers · 30/06/2016 21:50

I don't think kids should cop out of sport just because they struggle with it but competitive sport put me off getting and staying fit - not everyone needs or wants to compete with anyone other than themselves. Trying to compete with your own PB is enough for me and I'd soon get disheartened if I was forced to race against my fellow boot campers and only the fastest were rewarded. Instead we all race against our PBs.

MrsMac74 · 30/06/2016 22:38

Are school sports days like they used to be in the '80s - egg and spoon, sack race? Or have they gone all-out super competitive? I'm sorry your children hate it so much, but do agree with those who say it's a good day for not so academic kids to shine. I was awful at sports, still am, but I managed not to see sports days as a personal failure. I can still laugh about it now. I was good at art and music, I knew my strengths. And was brought up to be kind and gracious enough to see that alot of my classmates enjoyed sports day and it just wasn't my thing. No biggie. I've managed pretty well in life despite still being unable to catch a ball.

grannytomine · 30/06/2016 23:06

MrsMac what about kids who aren't good at academic subjects and sport? Not only do they cope week in week out with the struggle to keep up with all subjects and then just for a bit of light relief they get humiliated in front of their classmates and all the parents. Such fun.

grannytomine · 30/06/2016 23:10

To the 'winners' it teaches if you put effort in you can achieve something that makes you proud. A little bit of competition never killed anyone.

Statelychangers · 30/06/2016 23:12

Agree Granny - my dd said to me she was rubbish at everything at primary school - sports day included! I would rather have a voluntary sports day - take part of you like - the rest of us can just go on automatic clap when required!

grannytomine · 30/06/2016 23:14

To the 'winners' it teaches if you put effort in you can achieve something that makes you proud. A little bit of competition never killed anyone.

Don't know why that posted so fast?

What would you say to my grandson who I picked up from school today. He struggles at school and it is made worse by having a high achieving academic brother. He came out of school looking down, held it together till I got him in the car and then said, "I'm rubbish. I've done really bad in end of term tests. I try so hard and i just want to be like everyone else. Why can't I do it."

So do tell me how I can arrange for him to achieve that considering he is already putting in alot of effort. His teachers acknowledge he tries really hard, he isn't even in double figures yet and he is totally convinced he is rubbish. He told me he will never have his photo up like mum and dad, he means their graduation photos. I am so looking forward to your magic formula.

grannytomine · 30/06/2016 23:17

Right I am leaving. I am actually in tears thinking of my grandson who is a lovely child. For all of you who think children should just suck it up if they aren't good at something I hope you have a great day at sports day.

grannytomine · 30/06/2016 23:17

Statelychangers, it is horrible isn't it. Poor kids.

beardedladydragon · 30/06/2016 23:21

Weak readers aren't told to read aloud in front of loads of parents
No but the strong readers are by getting selected to do readings in assemblies or by getting parts in the school play. Just like those who are good at art or music also get to showcase their skills in maybe an exhibition or a concert. Their skills are given an audience and positive reinforcement. If a child's only opportunity to shine is at sport it is a shame to take that away.

Statelychangers · 30/06/2016 23:22

Granny - If it makes you feel more reassured we have found Secondary school is much better all round - no enforced sports day and dcs are often better at spotting their talents amongst a much wider curriculum, where the emphasis on Sats subjects Numeracy and Literacy isn't quite so intense.

deathtoheadlice · 30/06/2016 23:31

If it builds resilience and is all ever so supportive then why would it be so bad to have spelling, maths, poetry, music, reading and art competitions?
Another brutal thing about sports especially in secondary is the aspect of changing in front of your peers, coupled with the humiliation of publicly failing at something everyone values and celebrates.
Imagine: strip & change in front of other teenagers. do maths in public. get chosen or not for maths teams. get mocked for wrong answers/ slow responses. oh - but not parts of maths that have been taught to you! just, you know, general maths ability.
If it's ok, good even, with sports, why isn't it ok, good even, with maths?
Why should actual achievement rather than effort and improvement only be ok to celebrate in sports but not in anything more academic, that we actually teach kids?
We have to drop this idea that, oh, but not achieving in maths might make dc feel bad (whereas of course public non-achievement in sports is culturally just neutral, no problem, no one would feel bad about that...)
Ridiculous.

JudyCoolibar · 30/06/2016 23:45

If a child's only opportunity to shine is at sport it is a shame to take that away.

I would have no problem with that if primary school sports days were run more or less the way secondary ones are, i.e. with only the best children selected to compete. The trouble with primary school sports is that they tend to make every child take part, with the result that for some it is public humiliation after public humiliation, interspersed with long periods of utter boredom. It bears no comparison with good readers being chosen to read in assemblies etc, because at least those who struggle aren't being forced to read out loud publicly.

OlennasWimple · 30/06/2016 23:55

Because there's no problem with only selecting the best kids to take part in sports day? Hmm

Sports day is like a school concert: they are painful apart from watching your own child; some are naturally gifted and shine; some struggle. Only letting the good ones take part would be unfair. Banning them altogether would be completely wrong

JudyCoolibar · 01/07/2016 00:12

Selecting only the best kids to take part in sports day is easily done by a teacher who knows his or her job.

If it's unfair only to allow the good ones to take part in sports day, how come that's the way secondary sports work? And, after all, it's also how things like school concerns work, and no-one complains about that.

OlennasWimple · 01/07/2016 00:39

Of course it's easy to pick the good ones - but what does it say to those who don't get picked? What a great way to turn kids off sport, at an age where they maybe haven't found what they are good at or haven't grown as fast as their peers Hmm

JudyCoolibar · 01/07/2016 00:53

Speaking personally, I was utterly delighted not to get picked for races on sports day. And it hasn't put me off playing sports now.

Lozzamas · 01/07/2016 08:55

I tend to subscribe to the suck it up its good for them view. As one of the tubby kids at the back, sports day expectations spurred me on to be fitter and thinner.
Life is humiliation - no one is good at everything, at work I have an annual appraisal and 360 degree feedback where I have to take on board anonymous comments on various aspects of my performance and be scored. Dependent on this is my pay for the next year - not some hurt feelings. So it's good I can take failure/criticism/public humiliation! God we even have a compulsory company inter department sports day at a local private school, pitch and put, 5 aside etc. So get used to it it goes on forever.
My kids both went to Uni did well but still both ended up with crap jobs- hey but they're happy that's what coming humiliatingly last in every race does for you, other than sports days where else are you going to rehearse that??