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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to ban primary school sports day?

394 replies

namechangingagainagain · 29/06/2016 09:20

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

OP posts:
derxa · 01/07/2016 09:09

Princess Diana conveniently won the mother's race every time That's because she was good at sport.

ilovechocolate07 · 01/07/2016 09:27

One of my children hates sports day and it is painful for him as he tries his best and still comes close to last. My bugbear is how parents say 'aw' and cook at the child coming last.

ilovechocolate07 · 01/07/2016 09:28

Meant to say coo not cook lol

OVienna · 01/07/2016 12:11

Yes, YABU. For some children, this is their day to shine.

ASISAYNOTASIDO · 01/07/2016 12:35

YADNBU. I have had many the row about this - DS1 is 14 now but between the dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder school is a nightmare culminating in his own personal hell of Sports Day. School was insistent as it would 'toughen him up'. I had a ball telling the Principal that if he stood up in front of all the parents beforehand and sang a song (the ONLY thing in the world my DS can do at an average level) then i would get him to fully participate. He bottled it - natch, so off we trotted. The younger two just muck in. Should NOT be compulsory.

beautifuldaytosavelives · 01/07/2016 12:38

It's old fashioned and a real pain in the backside to attend if you work in education - parents and heads get remarkably po-faced about time off to go and watch your own child. My DD is averagely able in sports and can take it or leave it. I hated it and probably stayed off. Of course children need the chance to shine, but as other posters have said, if you come top in a spelling test no one puts you on a podium and cheers. I'm all for competition and learning about winning and losing graciously, but not sure we need to assemble in the field to support it.

Heatherjayne1972 · 01/07/2016 12:49

Hate it. It's an all day thing at our school parents are expected to bring a picnic and stay from 9.30-3pm
My kids don't mind but wish it was optional for them and us !

Sara107 · 01/07/2016 13:35

We attended our first sports day last year, when DD started school. It's a small school and the kids were arranged into multi-age teams and the team with most points on aggregate won. DD isn't especially sporty or not, but ran pretty fast in her sprint event and won it. When it came to the 'dribble the football the length of the course around some cones' event, she decided to barely move. Inching along at a snail's pace, minutes behind the other children, the encouraging clapping all got a bit strained. I was having to hold onto my chair to prevent myself dashing out and telling her to get a move on! She was clearly bored, and when I spoke to her afterwards she told me that the winning wasn't important as long as you did your best!

TheLionSleepsAha · 01/07/2016 13:45

Yanbu. It's embarrassing. I hated it as a child and hate it as an adult. I like sports, but it's not really about sports it's just a way of humiliating the physically poor.

OVienna · 01/07/2016 13:54

it's not really about sports it's just a way of humiliating the physically poor.

Seriously? You think this is what schools and teachers set out to do?

BolshierAryaStark · 01/07/2016 14:41

It really isn't designed to humiliate anyone Hmm
Some kids are bright, some kids are sporty, every child is good at something . As parents it's your job to explain this & deal with events such as sports day, DD managed to come 2nd in most of her events but I think she was most disappointed in my 2nd to last in the parents race which I found even more hilarious than the competitive parents taking it so seriously.

VioletBam · 01/07/2016 15:24

Bolshier YES and we've established the fact that "some kids are bright and some are sporty" BUT the difference is that the non bright kids are NOT expected to display that in public!

grannytomine · 01/07/2016 16:24

Statelychangers, thanks for that. I feel so sorry for him as he tries so hard. I hope senior school will work for him, I do think senior schools cope with lots of things better than primary much less cliquey with some parents much too involved. He was telling me about learning his tables one day when an alpha mum of an alpha child in his class said, "Yes but you need to learn them properly don't you x?" I rarely swear but I was so tempted to tell her to fuck off. I do hope her little darling falls flat on his face at sports day and we can all be condescending to her smug face.

BolshierAryaStark · 01/07/2016 16:25

Really? Do any of you actually pay attention to what the other kids are doing or just your own? Hardly public humiliation is it?

JudyCoolibar · 01/07/2016 16:31

It really isn't designed to humiliate anyone

Really? No child is ever conceivably going to feel humiliated by constantly coming last and being jeered by their peers?

BolshierAryaStark · 01/07/2016 16:37

Yes really.
Life is full of competition, lots of physical pursuits teach an element of this including sports day. Someone is always going to lose, doing so is something that again is a lesson.

BolshierAryaStark · 01/07/2016 16:38

I've also yet to see primary school kids jeered by their peers tbh, sports day at ours is a very fun themed event.

PizzaFlavouredCupcake · 01/07/2016 16:42

I used to hate sports days but YABU. I hated them as I wasn't sporty, (though i was in good shape for some reason) but that's like saying we should ban spelling tests because some kids cannot spell, stupid. You have to remember that sports days are some kids time to shine and are really looking forward to it. Kids need to learn its not all about them, and anyway sport isn't everything.

BurnTheBlackSuit · 01/07/2016 16:45

Having a child who has come last (by some distance) in ever sports day race he's ever been in and is highly unlikely to ever finish anywhere other than last, I hate this public humiliation.

I have the "it gives the physically able the chance to shine" and I also HATE the assumption that those coming last on sports day must be best at something else. Some children are good at sports and academically and some are bad at both. The difference between being bad at sports and being bad acidemically is that your lack of academic ability is kept private as much as possible whilst your lack of athletic ability is displayed in the most public way possible.

BurnTheBlackSuit · 01/07/2016 16:47

My son has learnt his lesson that he is the slowest runner by miles. He is used to loosing now, having been last for years and has no hope of improvement.

Can he stop having to publicly learn this lesson year after year after year?

BurnTheBlackSuit · 01/07/2016 16:50

Really? Do any of you actually pay attention to what the other kids are doing or just your own? Hardly public humiliation is it?

EVERYONE notices the poor little child who is finishing their race a distance after all the other runners. They start clapping and cheering for them in a patronising way that only emphasises how bad the child is at running compared to their peers.

OVienna · 01/07/2016 17:02

the flip side is, some children may discover that they are good at something they may have never been encouraged to do/had the opportunity to do before. I hate running with a passion but my dd is a great competitive runner and she got the chance to learn that through school events like this.

If sports day is really so painful that you as a parent would characterise it as a public humiliation of your child you should have the right to discuss it with the teachers in question and maybe not attend. I don't think it's right for everyone to miss out though.

Whilst grades aren't necessarily published I do think that children find out in other ways how they compare to other children, it's not as private as people on this thread have made out.

grannytomine · 01/07/2016 17:22

BurnTheBlackSuit, maybe he won't be well on sports day? With my kids/grandkids the sporty ones hated it as much as the non sporty ones. They all said its boring, a waste of time, people fall out about who let the team down. Its the end of the year, they are all tired, maybe everyone who hates sports day should go on strike.

When I look back I can't imagine why I didn't just let mine have the day off.

teacherwith2kids · 01/07/2016 17:33

IME, the children - and parents - who don't like sports day are those who are academically / socially / in performance arts very successful but not as good at sport, and who aren't as used to losing / finding things hard (or seeing their offspring being anything less than successful / having a starring role).

I always say to them that they have 194 days a year where they are doing things that they are good at. For some people, sports day is the only day they have in the school year that solely focuses on what they are good at, while the other 194 are difficult. .I say this as a life-long asthmatic who was ALWAYS last at sports day, for whom the 'used to being successful' tag was very apt.

In our sports day, everyone gets points for their team whether they are first or last, and many of the activities (we have a set of activities followed by a few classic 'races') are dependent on the 'team score' rather than the individual position.

teacherwith2kids · 01/07/2016 17:35

I also think that the 'carousel of activities' approach we take prevents it from being too boring. Throughout the 'activities' phase, everyone is busy pretty much all the time - working in small groups of 4 or so, either all busy at once or taking quick turns. Then everyone does 2 races each (from a classic sprint through egg and spoon to obstacle or skipping, based on trials that we do earlier in games lessons so everyone is matched for ability) and it's done.