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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to ban primary school sports day?

394 replies

namechangingagainagain · 29/06/2016 09:20

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

OP posts:
derxa · 29/06/2016 20:15

not organising running in PE lessons Running is a skill which is taught in lessons.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 29/06/2016 20:17

Lol don't you 'run' in football?

derxa · 29/06/2016 20:23

No you don't run in football. You career around like a headless chicken.
Running is a skill. You run differently for long distances than in a sprint.
Why do athletes bother having coaches if running is not a skill?

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 29/06/2016 20:31

running is available to everyone. Yes you absolutely do 'run' whilst playing football

I run. I don't have or need a coach! I run 5k,10k, half marathons and full marathons. No major skill involved. At all

They are primary kids, not athletes

YesThisIsMe · 29/06/2016 20:33

It's only bloody running. I used to do the Mum's race every year when my DC were at primary school. I kicked off my shoes, ran my little heart out and finished dead last behind a bunch of keen mums ten years younger and six inches taller. My DC have never been any cop at running, and they have never shown any sign of being remotely bothered by this, but have just read Harry Potter on the grass and made daisy chains until it's their turn to come in a plucky last.

I would be very wary of any school where children were genuinely upset by failure at sports day (unless they were realistically expecting to win but tripped and fell at the last moment). Surely that's a school that's got something badly wrong.

NotYoda · 29/06/2016 20:35

I always thought sports day was fine until I had a deeply un-sporty, non-competitive son. Not enjoyable for him, and lots of gritted teeth for me

I don't think it should be banned though. Most children get at least some fun from it; for many it's the highlight of their year

derxa · 29/06/2016 20:51

Yes you absolutely do 'run' whilst playing football I know. Sad

derxa · 29/06/2016 20:54

They are primary kids, not athletes They should all be encouraged to reach their potential whatever that is. Same with every other subject on the curriculum.

Swirlingasong · 29/06/2016 21:08

My reception child has absolutely no awareness of being better or worse academically than any other child, which is great and as it should be at that age. People would be up in arms if there was the merest hint that a 5 year old was told that they were the worst at counting in their class, let alone told in front of others.

We went to sports day the other day. Yes, they ran in small groups; yes, they competed as part of a team; yes, everyone was cheered ; yes I got up and did the mum's race. But you know, my dc is not stupid and can work out perfectly well that they were the last in each race. Normally my child is incredibly enthusiastic about any school activity whether they are good at it or not. After sports day, all I was told was 'I'm slow and not so good at running'. It breaks my heart.

Children do have to learn about their strengths and weaknesses, about winning and losing, but it seems to me that those who are not sporty have to learn about that an awful lot sooner than others.

EveryCloudhasl · 30/06/2016 17:41

It's funny I was having this debate yesterday. I'm all for sports days. Yes they can be hard on children but they do teach valuable lessons. I HATED them as a kid and used to try and skive and felt rubbish when I didn't win anything (I particularly remember as a 6/7 year old them playing Queens 'we are the champions' to the winners and feeling terrible). HOWEVER to the 'losers' it teaches you can't win everything and sometimes life doesn't go your way. To the 'winners' it teaches if you put effort in you can achieve something that makes you proud. A little bit of competition never killed anyone.
To me ban something just because it is emotionally hard is just another way to encourage producing a generation of spoilt wimps and my LG is wimpy enough as it is Grin

Greenyogagirl · 30/06/2016 17:50

My ds school do a round of activities like obstacle course, egg and spoon race, sack race. They all go round the route. Drinks and snacks are there. Parents are there to cheer/comfort their kids. All the kids win a medal too. It's less competitive and more a fun day. If your kid doesn't want to do it then don't do it but i wouldn't say get rid of it. Kids might develop a love for athletics or competing or whatever and it all stem from sports day!

Craigie · 30/06/2016 18:12

YABU. Get a grip.

Mummylamode · 30/06/2016 18:56

YABU If your DC won would you want to ban it? No you'd love it so get off your high horse and let those who enjoy it have their day. Teach your DC resilience and how to learn from failure. JS

hks · 30/06/2016 18:57

my daughter is partially deaf ( unilateral hearing ) and in certain situations cant hear very well Like noisy sports day's ....She didnt hear them shout GO so was last to start running .... she came fourth but could have came f 1st / 2nd / 3rd if staff had gave her a cue they were ready to go

falange · 30/06/2016 19:08

YABU. If your children can't cope with not winning that's something you have to sort out and ask yourself why they can't cope. Sports day is a good thing, competition is good.

CatsNOwls · 30/06/2016 19:12

I don't agree with banning it, but I don't think it should be compulsory for all students.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 30/06/2016 19:14

It's all about how the school run it imo so Y(may not be)BU.

Our school have heats in PE lessons just before sports day so that they all run, jump and throw in similar ability groups. They do each activity as a class but there are 1st, 2nd and 3rd place stickers and points in each ability group.

They do running (longish distance and a sprint), long jump, obstacle race, javelin (foam javelins) and ball throwing.

Loads of parents go to cheer the kids on and I can honesty say that I enjoy it and the kids seem to as well.

TheJediSmurf · 30/06/2016 19:14

My two stayed home every single primary sports day

CatsNOwls · 30/06/2016 19:16

Fal - It doesn't sound like losing is the problem, it sounds like the reaction is. I remember always getting bullied for losing and parents clapping me just made the bullying worse. Like, I was embarrassed enough, I didn't want them to reacting to me coming last (mainly races, as my asthma meant I couldn't run as fast or for as long while not being allowed my inhaler).

I never cared about sports. I like them on my own but not competitively. I never cared about the losing but the sarcastic sounding clapping (or worse, the claps that sounded like they were just pity) drove me nuts.

fryingtoday · 30/06/2016 20:29

What sad posts. Just attended DD's first sports day and it was wonderful, all eager and excited no matter where they came.

knitpicker · 30/06/2016 20:38

Have RTFT but keep them home if it's really a trial

Swirlingasong · 30/06/2016 20:48

The thing is, frying, you don't necessarily know that. My DC appeared fine. It's only me that has heard anything about the terrific confidence knock received. I really don't think the last few weeks of reception is a good time to do that to a child.

To the pp who asked would I ban it if my dc won, yes, I would. I would hate to see any school event that made a child highlight their weak points in a competition. I would find it very uncomfortable to watch.

hazeyjane · 30/06/2016 20:53

It is about how it is done. My Ds can't run or climb but he loved sports day!

vienna1981 · 30/06/2016 21:00

Our sports days at primary school were always behind closed doors, i.e. no parents in sight. I still had no time for it as I was never a sports fan (still not). And three years on the trot I was picked to partner the class drip in the most humiliating event of all, the wheelbarrow race. Total fuckaround it was. Made my contempt for sport and enforced participation all the stronger.

I seem to remember whenever Prince William or Prince Harry's sports day was featured on television news, Princess Diana conveniently won the mother's race every time. Such sycophancyAngry.

Beeziekn33ze · 30/06/2016 21:08

On Monday 27th June I noticed a great deal of pupils screaming and teachers bawling from a nearby school.
On Tuesday afternoon this came through the door :

'This is a polite notice to inform you that the school will have some upcoming events that may use a PA system and have music.
Monday 27th June - Friday 1st July, Sports Week
Friday 17th July: School Festival
We apologise for any excess noise or inconvenience that may be caused'

Sports WEEK??!! Sorry to admit a little smile to myself when the heavens opened on Wednesday!