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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to ban primary school sports day?

394 replies

namechangingagainagain · 29/06/2016 09:20

I HATE sports day. I REALLY REALLY hate it!
Don't get me wrong as a child I was sporty. I did well at sports day and loved it.

However now I'm a parent Ive had to drag DS6 to school this morning. I have 3 school age children. They are all competitive but only the eldest is good at sport. He liked sports day. The other 2 found it the most painful day of the year.

Don't get me wrong they can all play a board game and lose without too much bother. They are all active and fit. They just hate sports day..... the sitting around...... the cheering parents...... DS aged 9 said " I hate it when they clap you and you're last.... it's really humiliating....."

It seems once you get to high school it's more opt in... which is fine.
FWIW I'm not anti-competitive at all but it just seems to me when they are little they don't have the emotional intelligence to cope with it ( or maybe it's just my children...)

( and yes I probably just should have let him have the day off in hindsight )

OP posts:
derxa · 29/06/2016 14:18

Any adult on here over 45 was probably slapped at school Not really.
I'm amazed at posters' attitudes to 'the bad old days'.

grannytomine · 29/06/2016 14:20

Sports education is so poor in this country at state primary level. Why the hell would you want to ban the only day of the year where the school community can celebrate sport competitively together?

Because it puts some off for life?

CoffeeAndOranges · 29/06/2016 14:25

I was crap at sports, but actually I quite enjoyed sports day. I was the class brainbox and always felt self conscious when I was the one who got all the answers right, the one who came first in spelling etc (to the extent I used to get things wrong on purpose sometimes) - sports day meant that someone else did the coming first and I got to be one of the rest. Plus it showed me what it was like to struggle and not be able to do something. We were all in teams and you had a points card that added on to the team's grand total- so even though I wouldn't win, I was still contributing.

Hated PE all the way through secondary school and only as an adult discovered I could enjoy getting fit - turns out it was team games and anything to do with balls or public humiliation I was crap at.

It's a rite of passage, plus it's a day off lessons.

derxa · 29/06/2016 14:47

Sports education is so poor in this country at state primary level
It really isn't. It has changed out of all recognition. Many changes in the last decade.

Andrewofgg · 29/06/2016 14:57

If you want to use schools to make children fit it needs to be by making everyone welcome, mixed ability, playing down competition, and leaving the future stars to the sports clubs.

If there must be a sports day there should be a teachers' sack race and s parents' egg and spoon race. Make the adults make tits of themselves!

OddBoots · 29/06/2016 15:00

Sport is hugely celebrated in schools - there are constant assemblies where those who have represented the school in this that or the other are praised. my dd's school proudly lists on the website those regarded as gifted and talented in PE (but makes no mention of any other subject) and over half the awards at the annual awards evening are for sports things. It is very clear that sports are a very big deal.

derxa · 29/06/2016 15:02

and s parents' egg and spoon race They're not allowed to do this by many schools worried about health and safety.

itsmine · 29/06/2016 15:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AvonleaAnne · 29/06/2016 16:15

I really think that people are over-feeling on behalf of their children! Most kids just have fun sat on the grass with their mates and having a day out of the classroom.

My Dad refused to come to any of my sports days because he said it was too embarrassing watching me come last. I still loved sports day and supporting my school house. Children do seem to be more sensitive these days.

My son and daughter will be keeping up the family tradition of coming last next week but I am confident they will do it with panache. Grin

I just asked my children whether they would be humiliated when they come last at sports day. The smallest one just laughed, the older one said "no, I'm not competitive when it comes to sports".

OhBrother1 · 29/06/2016 16:22

Just because your kids don't like it, Ban it!
My son hates salad let's ban that. My DD hated art... Ban that. Other son hates exams ok no problem ban them!!!
YABVU!

gleegeek · 29/06/2016 16:26

I think it does very much depend on the approach from the school. Dds infant school was very much about effort, all taking part, fitness and fun. Lots of novelty events, team games etc so great memories of having fun with her friends.
Junior school was the complete opposite! Just running race after running race, all about the winning, the sporty ones, etc etc but they did finally recognise a couple of years ago that the children who really struggled were being humiliated and not taught lessons in resilience and they got to help run the day instead.
Secondary it's very serious. With the sporty ones shouting at the less sporty if they don't win their race and get points for the houseAngry Dds aim for the day is not to get noticedGrinGrin
I don't think sports day should go, but some schools should have to take a good look at how they run theirs and make sure it's more inclusive and a positive experience for all.

Itriedtodohandstandsforyou · 29/06/2016 16:30

Love it..I was holding the finish line ribbon this year (for 3 hours!!)

Hiddenaspie1973 · 29/06/2016 16:40

I wish they would ban them. Not for my child, she's neither one way or the other. For me! Numbing numbing!

Sitting in the rain waiting to start - 45 minutes
Athletes parade - 10 minutes
Races on the field - 40 minutes
Get up and traipse across to the playground 10 minutes
Watch a load of kids with no aim try and get a ball in a hoop - 20 mins
Ditto cricket - 20 mins
Walk to another playground - 10 mins
Watch a snaking line of fed up kids kick a ball nowhere near a goal -20 mins
All the time cheering and smiling......🙄
So this year I left at half ten. I cheered on my child at the sprint relay, job done.

2nds · 29/06/2016 17:36

Hiddenaspie my cheeks are sore I laughed that much at your post.

Summerwood1 · 29/06/2016 17:44

Our primary school has never done a sports day since the day it opened. I'm quite happy about that as I hated sports day as a child.

thatsforsure · 29/06/2016 17:59

i found alot of school came very easy to me but I was crap at sports - did me good to be crap at something to be honest - I remember a kid who was always in trouble at school swimming butterfly in the school swimming gala - he was amazing and everyone was literally open mouthed - there is no way he should not have had that moment

Topseyt · 29/06/2016 17:59

I hated sports day as a primary school child and hated PE at secondary school. Both were rituals of abject misery and humiliation.

When my DDs were all at primary school I disliked having to go and watch, but I did go. The problem mainly was that their school did infant sports day in the morning and juniors in the afternoon. For a number of years I had a child in each, so would end up having to spend an entire day there. I never did fathom why they did it that way, but they persisted even though it definitely wasn't popular with parents who had more than one child there.

My youngest is almost 14 now, and secondary school is much less "in your face" with that sort of public display plus teenagers don't often want to be seen with embarrassing parents.

CoffeeAndOranges · 29/06/2016 18:52

I think the way I remember it at primary school was what made it good for all. The whole school was split into 4 teams (imaginatively called red, yellow, green and blue), and the whole school was then split into small groups, a couple from each class all mixed up. We'd then do a carousel of different activities (I can remember those smelly rubber quoits, hopscotch, doing 'stilts' using old sma milk tins etc - this was the mid-late 80s!), getting points for each. I think there must have been races too, but think they were just part of the activities. You did one and then moved on. Call it early circuits if you will!

It meant there weren't always people watching you, it wasn't always about winning (but sometimes it was), and your points all added on to your team's score so even if you personally were crap and hadn't won or come first in any of your activities, you might still be on the winning team.

I think my fear and hatred of sport only came later at secondary school- remember the awful bleep test?

Northernparent68 · 29/06/2016 19:07

The obvious solution would be for participation in sports day to be optional

The trouble with some sports days are that they are competitions in events that are not taught in the school, ie a running race despite the school not organising running in PE lessons. And why are not the PE teachers addressing under performing children prior to sports day

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/06/2016 19:20

I find the Dads' race quite terrifying to watch. They're all so competitive.

The last time, all the dads went thundering down the 100m track, two dads collided, and one lay on the track screaming because his shoulder had dislocated. An ambulance was called, he was stretchered away and the whole sports day was brought to a close. Shock

As we were leaving in shocked silence, an argument broke out between 2 dads claiming they had won the race.

Glassofwineneeded · 29/06/2016 19:21

For some dcs it is the public humiliation of coming last in every single race, year after year. And then all the parents think it's great to give them extra encouragement and clap extra loudly at them.
For some children they are never going to be first at sports day, never going to win the reading challenges or writing competitions.
For some children the whole of school life is a struggle and they do not shine in sports or academia.
You are not being unreasonable at all. We all want to protect our kids from humiliating situations.

derxa · 29/06/2016 20:01

The trouble with some sports days are that they are competitions in events that are not taught in the school, ie a running race despite the school not organising running in PE lessons. And why are not the PE teachers addressing under performing children prior to sports day That wasn't true in my lessons. It's called differentiation.

ForalltheSaints · 29/06/2016 20:03

Sports day without parents would be the ideal for me. Children need to be able to learn about winning and losing.

Cantusethatname · 29/06/2016 20:06

I hated sports day (uncoordinated, slow, couldn't see anything without my glasses). I was rubbish at every single sport I tried and this has stayed with me.
However, as an earlier poster said, for some kids it is the best day of the year, and I have managed to produce a son who wins every single race. He doesn't do well at school generally so this is a great day for him. I am so glad he gets his glory.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 29/06/2016 20:08

We need to ban all the dull 'music' concerts the schools insist on putting on too

Duller than a dull thing