AIBU to want to not be friends because she's so stupid

[EveryCloudhasl]

I have a 'friend' who I met through previous job which tbh I cannot stand purely for the fact she is completely and utterly thick. I know this sounds really harsh but everytime I see her she says something else and I just get so irritated. It wouldn't be so bad but she clearly has no idea and can be quite outspoken at times (even when she is completely wrong). I would give examples of stupid things she has thought or said but it would probably get me found out but for one a couple of days after the referendum I expressed my view about it and she said 'what is it' like she genuinely had no idea what it was, didn't know what the eu was, didn't know people were voting..then went on to say 'oh well I probably would have voted such and such (opposite to me)'. I try to be polite but I just want to scream at her. She contacts me at least twice a week to meet and I don't know how to stop..

I have no issue with thick per se. I think the combination of loud and opinionated would push me over the edge. Most people I know who aren't clever tend not to spout off. The ones who think they're bright are the worst and also the ones that really are and don't dare to listen to anyone else because they're always right and more intelligent than you insufferable tooo

Yes gamdalf

gandalf!!!

Okay I realise how harsh my post sounds. It's not that I feel superior to her at all, I have been known to be pretty ditzy myself at times! I think ignorant may have been a better choice of word. She can be really offensive and just not seem to even notice ie. I am a single mother and had to leave my last job due to childcare issues and she has came out with things like 'I don't understand why you don't just get a fulltime job and take her with you' like she genuinely believed you can just get a job in an office and bring your toddler with you. And she openly says how she doesn't like children even 'I'd rather die than have a child' I find things like this so offensive. And slagging a different colleague off for not wanting to carry heavy things whilst being 6 months pregnant because she thinks she was just being lazy (I had to explain that pregnant woman shouldn't and then she felt bad for being mean). And how can you not even be aware there was a referendum?! The thing is she has no idea she's been offensive because she really just lives in a bubble and doesn't understand things. We go to a yoga class together hence why I have still been seeing her. I guess it probably is time to distance myself because I am just losing respect for her..

Yeah.

In the same breath, you are being 'thick' to not know what to do in this situation. Not nice to be called 'thick', is it...?

OP she probably doesn't want to be friends with somebody who is so judgemental.

Sounds like she has some form of social communication and understanding issue.

Maybe she doesn't like you op and is being deliberately annoying in the hope you'll leave her alone....
I think a lot of people in this thread are confusing thick with a) being interested in popular culture and b) not knowing everything about every subject. Such and such is highly educated but didn't know where x country is - so what. No-one knows everything. Even people with fantastic general knowledge will have areas they are clueless about.

You could be highly educated in every area except South American geography asaic. Or do you not think people can be less knowledgeable in one subject whist excelling in others? I think I'm fairly intelligent but there are areas that if I spoke about them to people who are knowledgeable in that area I would sound highly ignorant. I know sweet fa about a lot of sports for example. Wouldn't appreciate people who do know being all 'how can you not know that!' about it.

You say she is your friend but you cant stand her how can you be her friend you mean she is somebody you know ? Saying somebody is thick is really unkind she is better off without you as a "friend" tbh

Really wish Zoos had wolly mammoths though

Or unicorns. I'd like unicorns.

Tut wooly* years ago dd2 said oo look mummy a unicorn was an antelope

Mrs DeVere Ok I shall agree with you that everyone should have a basic knowledge of absolutely everything and if they don't they are thick. And anyone who doesn't agree is silly. Happy?

YANBU. As Luciain says, it's exhausting. There has to be common ground, shared interests, often shared levels of intelligence. I have friends then acquaintances.

My sister is thick... Really thick .... Her mates are thick too ... I have no beef saying it

Unicorns, antelopes, what's the difference? Four legs, skip about. I always thought unicorns would be a bit bigger though. But who knows, eh?

Everybody is different. I know more about some subjects than DH, there's some subjects he knows more about than me.

I hate social situations where heavy subjects come up because I get anxious and worry about getting confused and saying the wrong thing and being judged as "thick". I much prefer writing because there's no rush and I can make sure I make sense.

A question is only easy if you know the answer.

It's fine to not want to spend time with someone - you are not compatible. We can't get on with everyone. Spare time is precious I also wouldn't want to spend it with someone who was thick. You can't have a proper conversation.

I used to work with a woman who annoyed the fuck out of me to the extent she nearly caused me to have a nervous breakdown in the six months running up to my wedding, years ago.

She is what I would term wilfully ignorant. She only ever thought of money and spending money and that because her DP inherited a lot of money it made her better than people like me who worked full time. She was all about brands and quite happily admitted she had no interest in anything outside her narrow selfish world.

One of her classics, when she had not long started with us and she was 22 was "I've done my fair share of working full time- I won't do overtime regularly."

She was a compulsive liar, gossiped constantly and loudly, would give customers incredibly incorrect and potentially dangerous information, and used to trail everyone else around while they did their own work and did none of her own. She was also quite happy to admit that her DP was caliming JSA when he was working cash in hand for her brother as a brickie.

To be fair I don't know her in real life, we met online through a group for a shared interest, but I did just delete a Facebook friend for posting:
“Shut up about Britain leaving the EU!! No F*cks given, seriously stfu right now, jaysus!!”
I can't believe that she doesn't understand why it might be an important issue for people and I admit the spelling and punctuation were also factors. I wouldn't judge someone for having a different level of intelligence or education but wilful ignorance and thinking it's cool is different. It made me realise we had nothing in common and I suspect that now you and your former colleague don't work together you have realised you have nothing in common either. If you are not really friends with this person then stop pretending to be, you'll be doing both of you a favour.

Nothing unreasonable about not wanting to pursue a friendship with someone who you have little in common with. If this person genuinely is just willfully ignorant, as it sounds she is, then I wouldn't want to be friends with her either, because I'm not convinced we'd have much common ground. No doubt she wouldn't want to be friends with me, which is fine too. So you're both probably better off knocking this on the head.
I recently discovered that a friend's child didn't know what I meant when I referred to the 911 attacks. Then I mentioned the attacks on the world trade centre, in case they were just unfamiliar with 911, but they still didn't know what I meant. This person is 18, so not a little child. I was staggered. How can this have escaped anyone? They're an example of someone who is perfectly capable and bright, but sadly just willfully ignorant and a bit vacuous.