AIBU to want to not be friends because she's so stupid

[EveryCloudhasl]

I have a 'friend' who I met through previous job which tbh I cannot stand purely for the fact she is completely and utterly thick. I know this sounds really harsh but everytime I see her she says something else and I just get so irritated. It wouldn't be so bad but she clearly has no idea and can be quite outspoken at times (even when she is completely wrong). I would give examples of stupid things she has thought or said but it would probably get me found out but for one a couple of days after the referendum I expressed my view about it and she said 'what is it' like she genuinely had no idea what it was, didn't know what the eu was, didn't know people were voting..then went on to say 'oh well I probably would have voted such and such (opposite to me)'. I try to be polite but I just want to scream at her. She contacts me at least twice a week to meet and I don't know how to stop..

user146 people could also be thick because of educational difficulties. not because they are lazy.

You quoted half of my point there user. People tend to be brought up to take an interest in things like politics. To be taken to museums and libraries, to travel. People who haven't had those opportunities could well be viewed as 'thick'.

What do you think your OP says about you as a friend?

My dd9has ASD and learning difficulties which means she finds understanding, remembering and retaining information difficult, this thread has made me feel sad, that in life people could see her as thick and stupid like the op .

Talking about fake eyelashes and Ibiza is FINE, but not if that is ALL you can talk about. I have a member of the extended family like this. He is a very close-minded person. He does not follow the news or current affairs. He does not travel. He has an occupation which is not intellectually challenging and which does not require him to interact with other people. He has no idea about how business works. He barely ever leaves his home town. He does not play sport or have any hobbies. When we see him, conversation is very difficult as literally all he knows about is Gogglebox, and Blackburn Rovers football club. He is wilfully ignorant and as such comes across very poorly and yes, as "thick".

Someone who has never heard of the EU until this year is similarly wilfully ignorant - it has been everywhere! Even if you don't watch Newsnight or Question Time, the referendum has been discussed ad infinitum on the main news bulletins since the turn of the year.

luna that is fine if he wants to live his life like that, its his perogative, I have a basic knowledge of politics, and take an interest in a superficial level, as I find it difficult to understand and boring. Nor am I interested in the Kardashians et al.

Much better thanks Lauder and I can laugh at a lot of it now thankfully, though I wish I'd continued my ignorance past the EU

Jeez oh Luna. You sound exactly like the kind of person I'd avoid.

Why the hell does it bother you so much how others choose to live their lives? Your relative is probably blissfully happy and not ranting on the internet about how other people do things.

The thing about politics is that it shapes the world we live in.
Politics is about power, who has it and what they do with it.
Political decisions made by other people have an actual tangible impact on our lives.
Showbusiness, for example, does not.
Maybe my attitude is sneery and superior, but I cannot help feeling that people who can, but don't, engage with subjects that materially affect their own lives are, well, ignorant.

As someone who is interested in politics, I agree with you "Lauder" but I have know people who have been amazingly ignorant of things to do with politics, things that even uninterested people know, who, at the same time are incredibly able in other areas. They are just people who only apply themselves to what interests them.

Janey, this made me really laugh, especially the first and the last:

"Are Mr Kipling and Aunt Bessie related?" (She actually thinks they are real people).
Is Malaysia a real place?
What date is Halloween this year?
Robins only come out in the winter.
The Duke of Edinburgh and Prince Phillip are twin brothers.

I hate this creeping "micro-aggression" that is creeping into society where you can't say anything about people without being criticized. Why is everyone so offended all the time?

Some people are thick. They read nothing, know nothing and think nothing outside of their own orbit. Some of them are kind, some of them are selfish. It doesn't change the fact that they are quite thick. It's great that they are thoughtful and kind and lovely. But they can still be thick. It used to be a cheerful thing to call yourself a bit thick. In a an old-fashioned way, it almost meant you were practical.

In the 'olden days' of the good ole 80's, people cheerily admitted that they sent their kids to private schools of privilege because they were thick and it was there only chance in life. Remember Tim-Tim-nice-but-dim?

My point is: stop silencing micro opinions with blah blah blah .....

I don't think YABU as it can be very frustrating but, Could I just say of my own experience. I am not stupid or thick but i do find it hard to communicate the right words or what I am trying to say sometimes. In fact I don't really like socialising in big groups because of it.
I know people could think of me as being a bit slow but trust me my mind is going all the time!
I just really struggle here.
Mind you i don't say silly things like the above, I just get stumped and think for way longer than I should.

Posts OP four hours ago.
Hasn't been back since.

Totally above board, yeah

Vaga surely by saying that you're attempting to silence people's opinions too? People have the opinion that the OP has come across nasty, people don't agree with others calling people thick or other bullying names (because in this context it is bullying, it's being deliberately nasty about someone) and that's their opinion. And you telling them not to speak that opinion is trying to silence them too.

We live in a very diverse world and unfortunately the OP has encountered a lot of people that don't hold the same opinion as her. If she'd posted elsewhere or at a different time she may have found people who were happy enough to see someone being so blatently nasty about someone else. Name calling and all.

It's completely different calling yourself thick, I will frequently do it if I've done something or said something particularly idiotic. However I wouldn't be at all happy with anyone else calling me thick. I'd be quite upset because overall I'm not thick and just because that's the opinion that person has of me doesn't give them the right to belittle me and make me feel any less intelligent or worthwhile.

inarms that is me too, someone will say something to me and my mind is whirring over all the different responses and I can't pick any one in particular. I end up trying to say everything at once and come out with something along the lines of "I like purple"

I can be a bit thick.

When I met DH I told him I met the Pope in Asda.

Turns out I meant the Mayor

He has never let me live it down.

but I can't cope with people who are either illogical (know all the relevant data but still come to a provably incorrect conclusion) or who are slow joining the dots (get to the right conclusions but only after painfully slow re-evaluation of all the facts or weeks of dithering).

I consider it a character flaw in myself - particularly the difficulty interfacing with people who don't like to think on their feet....because getting there with slow consideration is just as valuable and more often leads to a better answer than speed thinking.

IceBeing, while I get that you do consider this a flaw, and am therefore not getting at you personally about this, I find it truly terrifying trying to interact with people who have this attitude. I would love to be able to 'think on my feet', whatever that means. I would love to be able to think faster, talk faster, be confident enough for fun debates, and not disintegrate when facing awkward questions on the spot . But although I am intelligent enough on paper, and express myself pretty well in writing, I can't reproduce it face to face under pressure. I um and ah and stammer while trying to make sense of all the rubbish going on both inside and outside my head (a hearing impairment probably doesn't help this process). In short, I look like an utter thicko. As I'm a perfectionist, this is painful. I would rather have an undemanding natter about the weather than a debate with someone who is unconsciously marking me out of 10.

Why are you friends with someone you don't like? You meet up often, why? You don't like her. Just say no. It's really not hard.

Isn't it a bit stupid to keep on meeting up with someone you don't like?

I'd rather be 'thick' than a two-faced b!tch.

She could have additional needs. If that's the case, she may have no clue that you're not such a great 'friend' yourself.

OP - You don't seem very friendly!

Calling somebody 'thick' doesn't make you sound great friend material to be honest.

...also I wish our local zoo had mammoths...