To ask what words or phrases you never hear outside of MN?

[Fratelli]

Many a time I have been reading a thread and thought "I've never head anyone say that in real life".

oldbird perhaps its to distinguish it from a flying fuck? There must be subspecies...

Hobby, hobbies

Bat shit crazy.

Also Wendied. At Uni that meant drunk to the point of being incapable.
Fanjo.
Putting 'much' at the end, e.g. Friendly, much?

Only ever heard "duvet day" on here.

Fuck off to the far side of fuck and when you get there fuck off some more.
One wise poster said about Cameron.

Oh oh I've thought of another one! When people say "funds" or "spends" instead of saying money!

Ugly cry!

Vanishingly unlikely. It makes me irrationally annoyed!

old gimmer makes my teeth itch because a gimmer is a young sheep not an old one.
'Gimmer' means female and 'shearling' means a two-year-old sheep. So a gimmer shearling is a two-year-old female sheep. Since sheep usually give birth to their first lambs when they are two years old they usually have their first lambs when they are gimmer shearlings.

I have quite a few gimmers here on my sheep farm.

I think a lot of these terms, including my pet' hate 'Triggers', (gnashing my teeth just writing it), come from the bloggesphere?

i never heard of goady till i came here

I've never heard anyone described as NT in real life.

I do say makes my teeth itch though, nothing to do with mumsnet.

San pro is just terrible. Tbh not something I discuss much in RL.

"think" before something that is almost what you mean but not quite:

I have a daughter with a fairly common name, think Olivia.. (but not that)
We live somewhere fairly expensive but not as bad as London, think Guildford (but not)
We had fruit for breakfast, think strawberries (but not)
I own a popular breed of dog, think Labrador (but not)
She competes at a sport at a high level, think swimming (but not)
He has an expensive hobby, think golf (but not)
I have a favourite flower, think tulips (but not)
I work in a make dominated industry, think IT (but not)

Why do people do that?

'Goady' Never heard that word before Mumsnet! Or 'bun fight'

There's a few things on Mumsnet that I don't say in rl for fear of people finding out I'm on mumsnet, stalking me and eventually outing me- goady fucker, hoiking my judgy pants, and generally mentioning that I use (and love) my mooncup all come to mind.

I should probably just invest time in name changing...

Oh and I fucking hate lighthearted

'Chocs' and 'veggies'. Never heard anyone say those in real life.

Fanjo
Norks
Disingenuous - who says this in RL?
Cocklodger
Stealth boast - DH actually thinks I invented this.

SanPro

Peri-menopausal

Here, have a grip.
Go get yourself a grip.
Hands grip...
Cocklodger
Cockwomble (although I was delighted to read this on some of the tweets to Donald Trump after he congratulated Scotland for voting leave in the referendum)
Wankbadger (this is a personal favourite)
Lighthearted - can't stand it
Boils my piss
Fanjo - never heard it until here
Narc
Hoiking judgy pants
Going NC

Grabby

Never heard it used in RL, only on here

'Marking my place'

Always makes me think of a dog cocking his leg against a lamppost.

"Self-entitled"

Those bizzarre scripts that people type out when trying to instruct someone what to say in a tricky situation. The language and tone used would just make the recipient piss themselves laughing.

Getting incidents 'logged with the police'. Can you even do that in real life?