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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

turned away from beauticians because I had my baby with me

257 replies

PattyO46 · 27/06/2016 15:03

I have just been turned away from a beauty salon because 'we don't allow children '. Not only do I not have childcare but my baby is so exclusively breast fed. I feel so upset, humiliated and angry. Is this a commonly accepted practice?!

OP posts:
shrunkenhead · 28/06/2016 22:37

Raaah I wasn't being deliberately inflammatory. I breastfed. I just didn't feel the need to tell everyone or expect to be able to take my baby everywhere.

Mumofonesoontobetwo · 29/06/2016 19:27

I go to a beauty salon to relax and have a massage which are not cheap and would be really annoyed if a baby cried throughout my child free time. Would always book a mobile therapist if I had no sitter as I wouldn't want to disturb others treatments.

NotYoda · 29/06/2016 19:36

Just one thing we need to know: did your treatment involve sitting in a pool?

needanewjob · 29/06/2016 19:38

Most beauticians near me won't allow children. I actually prefer it like that as when I do (very occasionally) get a chance to treat myself it's nice to be able to relax in a serene environment.

RhodaBorrocks · 29/06/2016 19:49

My boy comes with me to the hairdresser and when I get my eyebrows done, but he is older now and sits quietly with his Kindle. He is so well behaved that he is always fussed over and gets a drink or a lolly from the salon ladies.

BUT I was thinking about this only the other day, I would never take him anywhere where there's fumes as strong as a nail bar. I don't worry so much about hair dye as it's no worse than in my tiny bathroom after I've been at the bleach! I also wouldn't take him anywhere where I'd be in a treatment room etc as that wouldn't be relaxing.

When he was a baby he was looked after by family when I had hair cuts etc. And if he wasn't so well behaved (not bragging, I really lucked out with him) he still would be!

EttaJ · 29/06/2016 19:49

Not only are YBVU but also you're an entitled woe is mum. Ugh.

First of all its not a suitable environment for any children. For their sake and the sake of other clients. Secondly there are insurance policies. I have managed to attend every hair and beauty appointment I've ever had , child free.

I guarantee if you had bothered to read the website it said no children allowed. In fact you probably did read it and just ignored it because of your entitled attitude.

People pay a lot of money for treatments and peace during them and they get even their own children looked after for their beauty appointments. What makes you think they want to listen to your child crying because you thought you'd just take your baby anyway ?

As for refusing to say what treatment you were having , that tells me you're either making the whole thing up OR you know full well it was not appropriate. A spray tan with baby there maybe. Hmmm.

bubblegurl252 · 29/06/2016 19:58

Well I really feel like going for a treat and peaceful adult time now

Banderwassnatched · 29/06/2016 19:59

I remember not getting my hair cut for years because i couldn't bring kids in and the kids where always with me- it sucked. Eventually i went in when i only had one baby to deal with and asked the stylist if she was happy for my baby to be there. She said it was fine and 'Can't imagine why people would mind'. We all know that they do. But it really is crap that you end up excluded from nice, normal things becayse you have kids with you all the time. So i sympathise, OP.

Banderwassnatched · 29/06/2016 20:02

Oh, and the frequent refrain of 'chemicals' is amusing me. Chemicals what? Chemical fumes? It was my understanding that a beauty salon with dangerous chemical fumes is a dodgy salon using dodgy solvents. Don't take your kids to the dodgy salon, obvs.

DailyMailEthicalFail · 29/06/2016 20:04

"Get a hold of yourself woman. You couldn't get your nails done or whatever, Rosa Parks you ain't"

sorry but that was funny! Grin

NeverNic · 29/06/2016 20:08

Do you know, I have fairly often taken my son to the hairdressers with me. I now have a good hairdresser who comes to my house (he does it for his long term regulars, but is normally salon based) but before he did that it actually never occurred to me not to. I've also taken them to a nail bar (which is not fumey - I'm asthmatic myself so loads of those places are off limits to me), and parked the pushchair near windows and waited for nap time or saved his milk for the appointment. Somewhere like a real spa, then I absolutely wouldn't have the children there. Somewhere that offers massages, then I wouldn't. If I was having a spray tan or tinting my eyelashes - then no, because I wouldn't be able to watch / see my child during a treatment. To be completely truthful though, I would never think to check first, would also be surprised to be turned away (even though now I think about it, it's obvious why you would be), and on the occasions I've had something done and I'm without the children, I wouldn't be upset that there was a baby / child there. Babies do exist and sometimes mums have to bring them along to things if childcare plans have fallen through.

Kimbrookes85 · 29/06/2016 20:11

I go to the same salon every 4 weeks for an eye brow wax and they tell me off if I don't take my baby but it's not like it needs to be a relaxing environment or there's too many chemical smells. I have a mobile nail person 😀

stressedinsurrey · 29/06/2016 20:13

I went to have my hair highlighted recently. 2 hours in the salon, looking forward to some relaxation and time to myself. Someone brought in a baby for theirs and literally an hour of that time the baby screamed. It ruined my morning. I felt for the mum but it did strike me that it wasn't a great idea to bring it along! If you can't get childcare then the mobile therapists sounds like good advice.

PovertyPain · 29/06/2016 20:17

When my husband was very ill, my dsil paid for me to take a very well earned massage. It was pure luxury and I would have been thoroughly pissed off if I had to listen to crying babies, children running around or even be made feel obliged to make baby talk with a small child, while waiting.

Am I being unreasonable to ask if there is ANYWHERE that some breast feeding mothers feel is alright to refuse children?

K1eszczu · 29/06/2016 20:21

Nail vanish fumes are dangerous for little ones so is big amounts of hair spray etc to they might have done you a favour. Also most of people expect piece and quiet in a beauty saloon.

Gallievans · 29/06/2016 20:24

Wouldn't take a baby to a nail bar, our local spa/gym has set hours when babies/children are permitted. Depends really what else is going on. I can see their (spa) point if they are doing nails & perfectly reasonable to have child friendly / free times so perhaps change if poss?

MrsPoldark · 29/06/2016 20:24

Woah! My eyes are still watering at thought of a 2 hr waxing appt - I'd need an epidural if it took that long. My few & far between salon visits are sacrosanct - total me time. I'd be peeved if I had to listen to anyone else's dc's!

kimhp · 29/06/2016 20:27

I used to work at a hair salon and there was nothing worse than someone bringing their baby in. Not only are others trying to relax whoever was cutting/colouring hair was forever trying to not get hair and what not over the baby and 9/10 the baby would get passed around to assistants (like me) to entertain. Do you know how hard it is to entertain a child that isn't yours in a non child friendly environment for up to 3 hours?!

user1465823522 · 29/06/2016 20:42

if they don't allow kids then they don;t allow kids.

belgina · 29/06/2016 20:48

This is probably the most horrible thread I have read in ages!

I have 4 dcs. Admittedly for long treatments I don't take them along, but I have gone for eyebrow/leg waxes many a time with a baby in tow. Strapped into a buggy they are pretty unlikely to start touching equipment. It would honestly not occur to me to check if children were allowed in.

My husband works away from home a lot & I have no family nearby. So haircuts did use to happen in the week when I only had the baby & not the other children. No hairdresser ever complained and they generally just get lots of attention. Of course again, I would stick to cut & blow dry & not a long winded colouring job.

A breastfeeding mum & baby are actually a biological unit. It may sound a bit woo to most MN, but from a biological PoV when baby is still fully BF, they are a unit. Not all babies are easy to leave behind. Dc4 was one of those. We had 1 attempt at 6 weeks where I fed her & went for an hour. She spent the entire time screaming. After that she really went everywhere I went until she was on solids.

PovertyPain · 29/06/2016 20:56

So the fact that this is possibly the only quiet time that some adults get, doesn't matter because mothers should be permitted to take their babies anywhere they want?

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 29/06/2016 21:07

Oh god! we've found another one who HAS to bring her kids to the salon… cause going to the salon is such an unavoidable necessity!

claireehmurray · 29/06/2016 21:15

Good grief ladies! Get a grip!!!
Life does not stop just because you become a mum!! I've had 5 children and have 3 step sons also and have never ever been turned away when needing treatment of any sort - that includes waxing and acrylics (I've even breastfed during drying polish)
As long as you take a break when you need or when small person needs then no one should get upset.

But please, for the sake of all that is fair, do not start to shun mums at a time they most need a little tlc...

Just imagine how you'd feel if someone told you that YOU couldn't come in to a public arena just because there was a chance your small child might cry...

PS that cap about health and safety is exactly that. CAP.

Floggingmolly · 29/06/2016 21:19

Public arena?

Kennington · 29/06/2016 21:19

I checked first and get my brows done with my dd. But it is done in a private room and takes 10 mins.
Nail bars are inappropriate because of the fumes.
I wouldn't routinely unless it was a super fast appointment and I would also check first.