AIBU or is "Well Done" an inappropriate thing to say re pregnancy

[MrEBear]

Well Done just seems wrong to me. It felt like they were saying "Well Done" for having sex!

AIBU?

I think you all know it's not about well done for having sex. It's about the pregnancy. Well done for making another human. Not my choice of way to say congratulations but God, people are so pass remarkable these days (...on Mumsnet). There's often no one right way of doing/saying things and yes, some things are better said in some ways than others but people seem to go out of their way to pick at every little thing other people say/be offended. Ultimately having a good sneer at the speaker.

YANBU. It could be worse though, "Well done" was DH's response to me when I told him I was pregnant. I did look at him a bit as I'm fairly sure I didn't do it all by myself!

Or it could be 'well done on being pregnant' as in it's not always straight forward to be pg in the first place (ie it can take a lot of time, effort etc etc)

It's a verbal minefield.
Safest option is to say nothing and just give a blank stare .

If having sex was all it took to conceive, carry a pregnancy to term and have a healthy baby then I think there'd be a lot less heartbreak in the world. "Well done" might not be my first choice of congratulations but it's basically harmless. YABU.

When I got pregnant, long time ago, I had an old GP. He wore those glasses on the end of his nose and peered over them when he was talking to you. I remember him looking at me, smiling and saying well done. It still makes me smile.

I don't see any real difference in well done or congratulations. People are happy for you, isn't that a good thing?

It was my FIL who said it, directed at DH. This is an IVF, 4 years of trying baby. Ok ILs don't know about the struggle but it still seemed completely cringe worthy.

If I've learnt anything over my years on mumsnet it's not to joke around pregnant women, only ever say things from a pre-approved list of options

Of course my last post actually proves that I haven't actually learnt anything from mumsnet. Congratulations OP.

"Well done" is the only polite thing I can say to Leave voters ATM.

"Cringe worthy"? Really? Massively overthinking it. They're just pleased for you.

I had the new car salesman who I'd met half an hour before say to my boyfriend 'that's the best and easiest 2mins work you've done in your life mate' when he found out I was pregnant so would have welcomed a well done!

I don't get why people try to take offence at comments that - whilst maybe not what you would choose - are just people trying to be nice and happy at your news?

The correct response to comments of this kind is "thank you we're really happy" and then don't give it another thought

I say "oh lovely"

I don't think anyone ever said well done over my pregnancy. My childbirth yes but not pregnancy.

It seemed appropriate post childbirth through since it was bloody hard work!!

I'm not sure if I've said "well done" before! I've probably said it and also other silly things. I'm more like to say "OH my god! That's fabulous news" or something.

But I second a PP I have never said it congratulating the sex (I've never congratulated my friends for having sex). It was the conception angle....

I don't see it as inappropriate. People are just congratulating you on becoming a mum which if you think about it, is something amazing and definitely worth congratulating you for. You shouldn't overthink it too much.

i said "are you happy" once
stupid stupid me

People are saying something nice because they are pleased for you.

What bastards you should call them inappropriate cunts then punch them

My middle aged, male work colleague wrote "Great escape plan, will try to copy" on my maternity leave Leaving card

Which was better than my MIL phoning me up at work to ask if it was planned

People say the oddest things ! I do like the escape plan card though

My lecturer said to me "oh it never rains but it pours"

I found only a few mainly men said "well done" to DH

Can't say it really bothered me I was pregnant and happy and nobody means any harm by saying well done

Congratulations and if not already stated When is eta? which is what you should say and all you need to say.

I assumed it was a regional thing. When we announced first pregnancy to family and friends in Somerset they ALL said well done. I showed how grown up I was by privately sniggering at being told well done for having successful sex