So far this year, Mumsnet has taught me.....

[YouAreMySweetestDownfall]

Fanny is a very naughty word in Scotland,

That loads of people hate the expression 'little man' (guilty)!

That there are other toddlers out there that refuse to go to bed and actually for many parents there's fuck all you can do but ride it out.

Mumsnetters can offer a wealth of experience, advice and hand holding and it can make a massive difference in your life.

And loads more things but wanted to keep it lighthearted. How about you?

That grandparents are regularly banned from seeing a newborn for at least two weeks because it would stop bonding and they all want waited on hand and foot.

Oh true MrsJayy and if they play outside they're in mortal danger

I wouldnt let my dd say fanny its not a really sweary word but its along the same lines as arse or fart

Some people have separate towels for different family members

People share towels??! OMG.

I've become more assertive because of MN.

I've learnt that some people get offended as a hobby. About everything.

That toilet brushes are a big NO-NO. Would never occur to me otherwise.

Oh and that if you don't shower/wash towels/change bedding/drown everything in bleach daily then you're a filthy minger.

Some people do not own a loo brush or pegs.

Flannels are verboten, too, DJBaggieSmalls.

Oh yes, I've learnt I'm a filthy minger in all toilet brush/shower weeing/not changing sheets threads. I knew this already though

About comma splices.

I've learned that some people think...

-That caring about your sons' wellbeing is wrong and against feminism. Apparently it makes some MNetters "teeth itch" when they hear mums worrying about their sons.

-That little boys are obviously predators for being JUST AS curious as girls are (example, getting changed for PE or in the female changing room at swimming. You get my point)

-Little boys aged 5 should go and get changed on their own in the men's changing room.

-Only teenage boys are interested in sex, not girls. Girls have it forced on to them, obviously.

Yeah, some pretty gobsmacking stuff so far this year....

Fanny isn't that bad a word in Scotland - as well as being the equivalent of willy for a female, it's also used as a semi affectionate insult, meaning idiot. That's why it's not suitable as a name.

Things I learnt from MN: that twat is a really bad insult in some parts of the UK. It's just a mild insult meaning idiot in this part of Scotland.

That deferring school entry because your child wasn't ready for school just meant skipping Reception and going straight into Y1 - still the youngest and now with a cohort of kids who've been at school for up to a year . It took me a while to get my head around that one as in Scotland deferral means deferral: you put off starting in P1 one year and start in it the next year. (I know that that has been relaxed now but in some areas it seems to be a major fight)

That Fruit Shoots are the work of the devil and that if you occasionally give your child one, you are a baaaaad mother

That some people take their children with them when they go to pay for petrol at petrol stations. Never seen it happening nor done it (no longer an issue as ds is 15! )

MeandMy3LOvely Oh yes that strange sort of feminism annoys me too.

paxillin I should have known. I'n doing it all wrong.

Yer a Fanny is a term of endearment but so is how are yi ya cunt 😂

Fanny is a bit rude across the UK, isn't it? Or is that just because it's not generally polite to talk about yer minge?

I've learnt that if your DD likes to wear sparkly pink princess dresses and tiaras, you have completely failed as a parent.

If your DS likes to wear sparkly pink princess dresses and tiaras, you can take a Mumsnet medal and relax in the knowledge you're a fantastic parent.

worra

Oh yes, the famous Mumsnet double standards.

If a woman is a SAHP, she is a stay at home parent and the male partner should still do half of housework, cooking and childcare while he is not at work. He should still do night feeds on his work nights even if his job requires him to be awake and competent, eg airline pilot, surgeon, lorry driver etc

If a man is a SAHP, he should do all childcare, cooking, cleaning etc, otherwise he is a lazy arse.

Urgh worra another frothy rage thing for me I think its anti girls all the glittery bashing that goes on

If you own up to something a bit odd a hundred people will heave a huge sigh of relief and carry you around the room on their shoulders while cheering 'me too!'.
Or point at you and shout 'no its just you'.

Worral

And men should breastfeed as well of course, it's nothing to do with not having the required biological equipment. They just don't try hard enough

I've just learnt through this thread that people share towels. Ugh!

I never knew having a toilet brush was disgusting, how else are you meant to clean a toilet? I'm not sticking my hand down there.

I have also learnt that not all women know you shouldn't flush tampons down the toilet.

Same about the wee, I had no idea adults thought you wee from your vagina.

The biggest thing is that most MN children are genius's. My children are pretty bright and in the top few of their classes, but come on here and read about reading levels/swimming stages/anything else and they are actually crap compared to MN children. Was looking for information on swimming stages the other day. DS is 8, coming to the end of stage 7, I'm not sure whether he needs ro carry on, he is one of the younger ones and they have said he's quite far for his age, yet on here children seem to do a stage every other term and be on a high stage at 5/6 years old. And be free readers in year 1 (although our school does a completely different bookband scheme so our free readers wouldn't mean the same as any others).

I feed the kids Spag Bol or Chicken Noodles as a typical meal.

Thread either becomes hotly competitive who feeds the most quinoa with rocket and a carrot for pudding or it becomes competitive junk feeding, whose kids get the most McDonald's with Coke and boiled sweets.

I think it depends on the first few posts which one it is.

Oh and a woman who wants a bit of time to recover and gather her dignity after giving birth is a special snowflake who shouldn't consider herself important in anyway shape or form. She's only squeezed a melon out of her chuff ffs (or been sliced open in major surgery).