To think this was rude?

[MrsNightOwl]

My friend has been there for me through thick and thin, and has helped me through many dark times in my life. Recently her car became a write off - she was upset because she needed it to get to and from work 30 miles away and couldn't afford to buy a new one. As it happens, I've been trying to sell my second car for ages (a cheap banger, but runs amazingly well) so to help her out I told her she could have it for nothing - she graciously accepted.

A week later, and I've just got a text from her asking for the tenner back that she lent me in the supermarket when I didn't have enough to pay for my shopping. I'd totally forgotten about it.

AIBU to be annoyed that she would ask, when I've given her a free car?

How was the text worded? Was it something like 'I now you've just given me a car but I'm absolutely flat broke. Is there any chance I could get the tenner back I lent you last week. So sorry having to ask.' Then I could understand it a bit. If she's just asking for the tenner with no acknowledgement of how you've helped her I would be a bit

OP I wouldn't be too quick to judge her as rude. It is excruciating having to ask people for money they owe you. She probably hated asking but simply needed the money and that is entirely different from how she will view your kindness with the car.

Cough up the tenner and move on.

I have been so skint I have scrabbled around old handbags searching for loose change, and I would have been desperate enough to call in loans even from dear friends.

I think this is what's happening here. It's a bit brass necked to "call in a loan" from the person who just gave you a job-saving £200 present, but maybe she's desperate. If this is the only odd thing she's done (in this vein) over the course of your relationship, I'd send on the tenner and bite my tongue.

No idea Jolly but probably not that cheap.

I've text to say I'll give it back to her tomorrow. I suppose it was just the way she asked "have you got that tenner I lent you?" However, I'm going to try and get over it and not take too much offence.

I think its too separate issues.

Your post leaves a bad taste in my mouth OP. This is your friend. You know she's skint. That £10 must really, really matter to her. Does it really matter to you? I suspect not.

I hope she doesn't stumble on this thread because she'd feel lousy. That's not how you treat a friend. You did a nice thing, a very nice thing in fact - but somehow you've cheapened it.

Tbh if she can afford tax, petrol, insurance and an MOT when it comes around, she can't be that skint. Skint people can't afford to run cars, they are bloody expensive!

Just give her the £10 she must be desperate.

Nobody here knows what friend can afford and what she can't. OP might have a better idea but still perhaps not know the full extent. What friend is doing is so crass given the gift of the car that there must be a real need for that £10. That's what feels so pointed.

Knee jerk reaction is that yes, she's being very rude. I'd be slightly agog if I'd received that text too.

However I think, after giving it some thought, that it isn't about her being brass necked but agonisingly skint. Give her the £10 back.

'Skint people can't afford to run cars, they are bloody expensive!'

They find a way if it's how they can get to work. FFS. I've gone without food to keep my car on the road because then I'd have been really fucked with no fucking job.

I think the friend is getting an unfair slating here. Yes giving her the car was very very generous and a lovely thing to do. But she cant eat the tyres if she gets hungry. She might not be able to afford to borrow a tenner off anyone else, and if the OP hadnt given her the car, she would still owe her a tenner.

I think this is the sort of occasion where a phone call would have been better than a text as it can avoid misunderstandings. If the friend had rung and said " hey, I know you gave me the car, and I will be eternally grateful, but I cant afford to get any shopping at the moment, could I get back that tenner please."

Last week the friend had no car but lent OP a tenner, fully expecting to get a tenner back which she may desperately need. She cant make a tenner out of the log book.

Tbh if she can afford tax, petrol, insurance and an MOT when it comes around, she can't be that skint. Skint people can't afford to run cars, they are bloody expensive!

This.

How do you know she "feels lousy" Lying? Always surprised at how people fall over themselves to find excuses for people on here. It might be that shes a real brass necked taker or a saintly person who is really broke we dont know. On the face of it its shocking no wonder OP taken aback.

There's a saying 'asset rich, cash poor'. It might apply in this case.
Those of you saying she's not broke if she can afford to run a car - seriously?! Can you not conceive of a situation where you have spent your last penny on your transport to work, as being without cash or food is less important than being without a job?
Think on would you!

I actually can't believe the people that think despite the OP giving her a car they should still repay a tenner because she is skint!

If she was that skint it would have been cheaper to get a season ticket over buying a new car, tax and insurance. Skint or not skint, she is taking the piss. A good runner for £10. Bargain.

I personally would be so annoyed I would ask her to meet me to give her the tenner and ask forte keys back.

You are soooooo not being unreasonable OP!

She'd feel lousy if she recognised herself from this thread, Kerala. It's not a question of making excuses for somebody; OP has said that her friend is skint. So that's known.

OP said this friend has seen her through thick and thin over the years. Unless you subscribed to the notion that OP is an idiot then her friend can't really be 'brass necked' can she?

You're right, it's shocking. That's what makes me think that friend is really desperate for that money. If one of my friends would have done this, after my initial 'shock', I would have got in touch with her to check that all was well and (if I could afford it) whether she needed a bit of shopping to tide her over. It's nothing to do with falling over myself to make excuses, just would be reading between the lines... if it was a friend.

To add, where gas thisnotbeing able to afford yo eat gone front ffs? The skint friend lent it yo the OO when SHE hadn't enough for shopping, the friend presumably had enough to lend!!

Friend lent £10. Nobody knows how much she had, presumably she was happy to be able to lend it to OP. That was then, this is now, situations change.

Good grief I hate my iPad. Where has the "not being able to eat come from"? It was the skint friend that lent the ten pounds to the OP. At this point the friend had sufficient funds to lend the OP.

Don't care what anyone says but I think she is not so skint, she is tight and has too soon forgetten about the OP's VERY generous gift.

'Let me know when you're giving the car back, then when it sells I can give you the tenner.'

"It was the skint friend that lent the ten pounds to the OP. At this point the friend had sufficient funds to lend the OP."

And the friend acquired a car which she wasnt expecting to get, which would need taxing, insuring, petrol etc.

OP, just as a separate point, I hope you didn't just hand over the keys - I assume you actually signed over the car properly and sent the forms off to the DVLA - because if your friend cannot afford £10 then she may not have taken out tax and insurance etc and if the car is still in your name you could be responsible if there was an accident or something.

So OP is a sucker then and you know the true situation better, Murphys? This is a good friend of the OPs, one who has stuck with her through 'thick and thin' over the years.

If she is that skint tell her you better have the car back as she obviously can't afford the MOT road tax insurance fuel etc etc!