To think this was rude?

[MrsNightOwl]

My friend has been there for me through thick and thin, and has helped me through many dark times in my life. Recently her car became a write off - she was upset because she needed it to get to and from work 30 miles away and couldn't afford to buy a new one. As it happens, I've been trying to sell my second car for ages (a cheap banger, but runs amazingly well) so to help her out I told her she could have it for nothing - she graciously accepted.

A week later, and I've just got a text from her asking for the tenner back that she lent me in the supermarket when I didn't have enough to pay for my shopping. I'd totally forgotten about it.

AIBU to be annoyed that she would ask, when I've given her a free car?

You did a really lovely, generous thing OP. I am sure your friend appreciates it and will never forget it. But I too think the money is separate. I have been so skint I have scrabbled around old handbags searching for loose change, and I would have been desperate enough to call in loans even from dear friends.

You two are great friends....don't let this very minor thing spoil that.

If she was skint skint she wouldn't have had a tenner to lend in the first place would she?

Quite

£10 might currently be everything to her and the difference between eating or not.

Whilst I think it was super generous of you to lend her the car they are two seperate things.

YANBU

Come off it, Really, there's a massive difference between having money in the bank and being able to spend it freely. I'm currently loaded. Except it's my rent, council tax, utility bill money. I could lend it to a friend but I'd bloody well need it back.

I also think you did a lovely thing but agree she must be so skint to ask you for that money back. She is obviously a good friend and worth you gifting a car to, so I think returning the £10 she lent you is only fair. After all, you didn't even remember because it probably didn't mean much to you whereas she has probably been expecting that money back each day and loathed messaging you to ask for it.

Sorry not with it today just seen you "gave" her the car... Umm not so sure maybe it is a bit unreasonable of her to ask for the money unless she is absolutely on her less few pence

As I always say with this kind of situation, you could just text back:"Lol."

How was she getting to work without the car?
I can see why you'd be cheesed off. Presumably the car had fuel in it when you gifted it to her?
I would pay her the £10 back though grudgingly with a smile

gobby Nothing wrong with the car, it's just an ancient old Peurgot 205 with a slight dent on the rear, and even though it runs great and has a new engine I suppose it's not aesthetically pleasing. I was advertising it for £200.

I do feel bad, I know she's skint at the moment.

She's not have eaten for a month if she'd had to buy a car. Text her back and say I'll bring you the tenner but I'll be leaving with car I gave you for free

So if you know she's skint why are you annoyed? While I think what you've done is lovely, she can't buy food with a car.

Also, if my friend had given me a car to help me out and then used it against me I'd be handing the car back. The car and the tenner are completely seperate.

Bright I was driving her! Which was driving me mad, and giving her the car seemed like the best option as it's just sat there taking up space on the drive.

I'd have to pay her
She lent you the money it's up to her to say don't pay it . It may have been earmarked for something
Very generous giving her a car though or is it a loan ?

So she had you as a personal chauffeur until you gave her the car? She sounds like a bit of a user. Who could be so skint that they can't afford the transport costs to get to work?

Tell her you left the tenner in the glove box of the car. You thought she would have found it by now.

Well if you know she's skint why are you getting all mardy

Clearly the car was not an outright gift but came with strings.

She's probably skint because she had to tax it as with the new scheme you can't let tax run from one owner to another

Most people wouldn't ask in such circumstances unless they REALLY need of it - for fear that you'd react exactly as you have.

Guess you just need to decide how much this friendship means to you .......or not.

No, not a loan, I gave it to her. To get to work she'd need to get three busses and wouldn't be there on time (we live rurally)

I'm actually amazed how many people think it's OK not to pay back a loan if the other person can afford to take the loss. She's probably trying to get through to payday at the end of the month.

I think it's separate, sorry.

She's not half as skint as she would have been if she'd had to get the bus to work.

How much would the three busses cost?

YANBU to think this is rude. It was. If she really needed the tenner she could have at least acknowledged your recent kind act with a "I know you've been so good to me and I hate to ask, but I'm really skint and need that tenner..."

However, giving her the car was a selfless act, no? So there should be no expectation of what she gives you back in return.

It sounds like she's been a great friend to you in the past. Chalk this one up and focus on helping her through this rough time she's having and enjoy what, for the most part, sounds like a mutually beneficial friendship.

Is someone has GIVEN you a £200 present, asking for £10 back seems petty, ungrateful and rude.