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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset at DM's reaction to new DD's name

252 replies

Ladyonashortfuse · 20/06/2016 17:14

We had great trouble picking a name for our new DD - she was actually nameless for a week while we trawled through 4000-odd names on the Internet, books etc. I mentioned some of the shortlisted ones to DM the other day: her favourite was one DH didn't really like and she said something quite rude about the one we have now chosen, which I sort of ignored at the time. When I told her (on the phone) the name we had eventually chosen there was a silence, then she said, 'You're joking?' And then, 'Oh, well, I'm pleased she's got a name at last anyway.' She is now persisting in calling her Baby so as to avoid saying it. Am feeling oddly hurt. It is a relatively unusual name in England, but it's quite pretty (I think) and not like we called her Moon Unit or anything. Should I have taken her preferences into account?

OP posts:
WeeWaspie · 21/06/2016 18:30

Sounds like my DM. I can sympathise. Every name i suggested she made obviously clear she hated, in the end i kept them to myself until DS was born

treacletoffee23 · 21/06/2016 18:39

Lovely name op. I know an Eleri she's 25 now. Great Welsh name.

Planty18 · 21/06/2016 18:50

Your child, your choice. Our first daughter's name was unusual at the time and was greeted with "oh, well I am sure we will get used to it" and honestly, I found it quite funny that a family member would be so rude. It's now in the top ten.

Planty18 · 21/06/2016 18:52

Ah just saw the name, so pretty Smile

AliceInUnderpants · 21/06/2016 18:53

I am very disappointed with your name choice.

I was really hoping to hate it and be able to take the piss, but I think it's very pretty Smile

Lovewineandchocs · 21/06/2016 19:01

Beautiful name-I'm half Welsh but hadn't heard of it-it would definitely have been on my shortlist and I'm a bit jealous as I hadn't heard of it when DD was born. We called her Maya though, which I love so can't complain 😀 congratulations again Cake

ample · 21/06/2016 19:02

Congratutions on naming your baby Flowers
YANBU. It's none of your MIL's beeswax (or ours for that matter). As many have said, she's had her turn.
My MIL had a foot-stomping paddy in my hospital room when we told her DD's name. She's okay now though but it did take a few months, possibly the entire first year.

I do think discussing names you had listed but didn't choose is not going to do you any favours. There will always be at least one person who will ooh and ahh over a name you didn't 'go with' and ask why.

Want advice? Call your DD her name every chance you get - baby will love hearing it, especially from her Mum & Dad and it will piss your MIL right off Grin.
MIL will settle down eventually. And if not hopefully your DD will correct her Granny one day. I can tell you from experience, that witnessing such an occasion is absolutely priceless Halo

ample · 21/06/2016 19:04

Beautiful name by the way Smile

lilywillywoo · 21/06/2016 19:10

Love Eleri, pretty and unusual. My DM didn't like the version of the name my DS called her DS, and would call him the full name at first, but she got used to it and now wouldn't call him anything different

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/06/2016 19:14

Pookie Noodlin Pearly-Gates?
(yes I know that its been posted just wanted to post the name)

2rebecca · 21/06/2016 19:16

It's unusual and pretty but won't she end up being called celery?

chalky3 · 21/06/2016 19:17

Ignore her, she's being very rude by not using your new dd's lovely name.

DS has an unusual Scottish name, I've only met one other person who has it. But we love it and don't care if others don't (not that anyone has ever said as much!)

ShelaghTurner · 21/06/2016 19:18

Skimming to the end as I have nothing to say except beautiful beautiful name. Your MIL is interfering and it's none of her beeswax. Did I say beautiful name?

Furiosa · 21/06/2016 19:25

2rebecca doubtful as it's pronounced nothing like "celery".

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 21/06/2016 19:38

Love the name!

I think your only mistake was involving your DM while you were considering names. My MIL asked what names we were thinking of for DS2. I told her, then every time we saw her she put us under pressure to choose her favourite.

When DS2 was born, we had decided we liked MIL's favourite name, but DH told MIL he was going to be called Tyrone and she didn't even try to hide her horror, which annoyed me because what if we had really called him that?!

I think it's easier not to discuss names with anyone else at all until you've chosen one, you'll always have at least one person who hates the name you love.

Chrissy1982 · 21/06/2016 19:40

Eleri is just a lovely name and the MIL is being ridiculous,

Overshoulderbolderholder · 21/06/2016 19:41

That is a very pretty name.. As is my daughters, ( I think) I got a hmmph.. What? How do you spell that from my mum. The ???!! lasted about a week. As previous posters have said ,, your DM had her turn on baby naming....it'll all come out in the wash but YANBU ... Congratulations Flowers

Binkermum29 · 21/06/2016 19:42

One of the loveliest people I know is called Eleri.
Which only makes me love it more.

mammamic · 21/06/2016 19:43

It's your baby - you get to pick the name.

Congrats on Eleri - it's a lovely name because you and her dad chose it for her especially. That's all that matters really.

I'm not a fan but it's personal. If we all liked the same names, how boring would the world be. I did so many rhyming, shortening, nick name tests to name our DD. My initial thoughts for Eleri is that it rhymes with hairy, lairy and she will go through life having to tell people how to say her name but this could be a good thing. Our DD is old enough now to love that her name, in the UK, is very unique. In Italy its extremely common/popular (male and female version) so she gets the best of both experiences.

Your mum will get used to it and in a few months, it'll be as normal as the next name.

Overshoulderbolderholder · 21/06/2016 19:43

Sorry MIL

P1nkP0ppy · 21/06/2016 19:44

YANBU, it's a beautiful name.
My MIL, on hearing DD's name said 'i hate it' and called her 'It' until I said to DH I'd hit her if she ever said that again (the name was nothing unusual at all)
But then my mil hated me from day 1...... and made sure I knew it - she never, ever called me by my name in 32 years......

Overshoulderbolderholder · 21/06/2016 19:44

Nope DM.. Goodness threads change like the wind

Troika · 21/06/2016 19:49

MIL hates dd's name. She pulls a face whenever she says it and makes a point of telling everyone she doesn't like it. I don't particularly like one of her dd's names either but I wouldn't dream of saying so because I am not that rude.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 21/06/2016 19:51

I actually think you've put her in an awkward position by asking her opinion on potential names in the first place.

Now that you've actually chosen one she said she didn't like, back when it was just a ???, she can't very well take that back can she?

Why did you ask her opinion? particularly if you were going to be upset if she gave the wrong answer about the one you eventually chose?

GabsAlot · 21/06/2016 19:51

i love eleri dh is welsh so ive heard it a few times alot of welsh names are lovely i think

zippy thats awful does she really point at your ds and say that one?

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