AIBU to be upset at DM's reaction to new DD's name

[Ladyonashortfuse]

We had great trouble picking a name for our new DD - she was actually nameless for a week while we trawled through 4000-odd names on the Internet, books etc. I mentioned some of the shortlisted ones to DM the other day: her favourite was one DH didn't really like and she said something quite rude about the one we have now chosen, which I sort of ignored at the time. When I told her (on the phone) the name we had eventually chosen there was a silence, then she said, 'You're joking?' And then, 'Oh, well, I'm pleased she's got a name at last anyway.' She is now persisting in calling her Baby so as to avoid saying it. Am feeling oddly hurt. It is a relatively unusual name in England, but it's quite pretty (I think) and not like we called her Moon Unit or anything. Should I have taken her preferences into account?

[Numberoneisgone]

I love MIL and we have DD2 her name as a second name. When we told her what we were calling her, thinking she would be chuffed at the recognition, she said would you not call her -my name- as a first name that name is awful. We just

[MajesticSeaFlapFlap]

You can't win sometimes, we called ds1 Ben and my mother pulled a face and called it dull.

[Roobix04]

My dd has an unusual name. When we text dp's nan while still in hospital to let her know the name all she text back was "I'll get used to it I suppose." Dp had to wrestle the phone off of me so I didn't send back some choice words!

[Lovewineandchocs]

No. Her "preferences" don't matter. Your DD is yours, not hers. She'll look pretty stupid after a while calling her "baby" in front of others and what's she going to say if she takes her out for a walk? Someone says "she's gorgeous, what's her name?" Is she going to say "baby"? Leave her be, don't discuss it. She'll get used to it congratulations

[PotatoBread]

It's none of your mum's business. She's entitled to her opinion but should have kept it to herself. Your baby, your and your DP's decision as to what to call her

[Roomba]

I'm sorry, OP. I know how upsetting this is as my DM did exactly the same. Said 'You are joking, aren't you?' when I told her DS's name, then when I said no she said 'Well, I think it's absolutely awful - vile name' and sulked for a week. It was the first in a long list of things she disagreed with after DS was born - I'm now convinced she was jealous and felt left out of it all.

You need to tell her the name is chosen now, you love it, it isn't her decision and she needs to get used to it asap as it isn't being changed!

[ConcreteUnderpants]

YANBU.
It really is nothing to do with her.
When I named my eldest, my family rolled their eyes and my mom went "oh no, poor child". I just ignored them - she was my baby, not theirs. Now, they can't imagine her being called anything else.

[Lunde]

She has no say as it's not her baby - she had her turn to choose. However I always found it unwise to survey family/friends on names as people think they are being asked to give input and are then upset when their personal choice is not selected. Better just to announce the name without letting people know the alternatives not chosen.

[TaliZorahVasNormandy]

Need to know the name before I could possibly comment.

[TheHobbitMum]

Don't worry, it's her issue and shes rude! Your baby, your name choice.

When we named out last baby (Tabitha) my SIL was disgusted as apparently it's a "Black" name wtf! She's from an African country where racism is very much prevalent (shouldn't be and isn't supposed to be!) She was gobsmacked and shocked that a white couple would ever use the name. So glad she's a 12hr flight away

[LittleCroxley]

Procrastinator - it absolutely does depend on what the name is. We only have the OPs word that it is an unusual but pretty name, for all we know Grandma may be trying to prevent her granddaughter from being set up for a lifetime of ridicule.

[chocolateworshipper]

What a thoughtless thing to say at such a happy time! Congratulations and ignore her

[Fairylea]

It doesn't matter what the name is. The couple could name her Hamburger and the principle is the same. Unless it's something deeply offensive then no one has a right to comment.

[GrumpyMcGrumpFace]

yeah but one person's idea of a name leading to a lifetime of ridicule can be very different to another's, so I still don't think that's relevant.

Congratulations on your lovely baby girl OP

[FuzzyOwl]

Congratulations on your baby daughter.

I find people can be really unnecessarily rude about other people's choice of name for their child. It might not be to their taste but so what.

[KurriKurri]

Ignore her - everyone will think she is bonkers.
A woman I know didn't like the name her DS and DDIL chose for their baby boy. She kept on and on about it, and how he'd always be called an embarrassing nickname, and how she felt embarrassed saying the name. I(and others) told her I thought the name was fine and all that mattered was that his parents loved it.
She's got used to it and is fine with it now.

(The name was Cole and she was worried about him being called 'Coley' (like the fish) - he never has been - he's about fourteen now.)

[CointreauVersial]

She's just in a huff because she didn't get her own way. Your mistake was running some options by her in the first place.

[Foslady]

Another one saying stuff her! I admit there's been times when I've been told a new baby's name and inside though 'Really????' - but I keep those thoughts inside because that's my blinkered view. Instead I smile and say how different that name is, how I've never heard it before, that it's a lovely name - because I'm sure people probably did the same when I named my child, and quite frankly I don't care - they named their children what they wanted, I named mine the name I wanted

[LittleCroxley]

Of course it is relevant - some names are just plain daft no matter how much you try to fluff them up.

[Stormtreader]

Normally Id say "its your choice" but I'm more wary after a previous poster called their daughter something like "Slimey"

[WeekendAway]

It's a relatively unusual name in England

Where is it not an unusual name? Is it American?

[AgnetaTheViking]

What's wrong with Moon Unit? That was my grandmother's name.

[GnomeDePlume]

This is why you dont talk to anybody about names before hand. All you do is introduce the child to GP and say 'here's your new grandchild, her name is Moon Unit'. That way it is a done deal. Opinions not sought or needed.

Our DS has a very unusual name. Nobody had the bad manners to say anything about his name to our faces.

Congratulations on the birth of your DD.

[Ladyonashortfuse]

Feeling a bit better now I've got it off my chest! ☺ DD's name is Eleri (traditional Welsh) btw.