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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be upset at DM's reaction to new DD's name

252 replies

Ladyonashortfuse · 20/06/2016 17:14

We had great trouble picking a name for our new DD - she was actually nameless for a week while we trawled through 4000-odd names on the Internet, books etc. I mentioned some of the shortlisted ones to DM the other day: her favourite was one DH didn't really like and she said something quite rude about the one we have now chosen, which I sort of ignored at the time. When I told her (on the phone) the name we had eventually chosen there was a silence, then she said, 'You're joking?' And then, 'Oh, well, I'm pleased she's got a name at last anyway.' She is now persisting in calling her Baby so as to avoid saying it. Am feeling oddly hurt. It is a relatively unusual name in England, but it's quite pretty (I think) and not like we called her Moon Unit or anything. Should I have taken her preferences into account?

OP posts:
readytorage · 20/06/2016 17:50

OP tell us the name otherwise how are we meant to give you an answer? For all we know, your MIL could be right Wink

FuzzyOwl · 20/06/2016 17:50

I agree about some names LittleCroxley but I think you only view your opinion if you are asked for it. If you are being told the name of a baby, it is polite to just smile and either make a nice comment or say nothing at all.

Greenyogagirl · 20/06/2016 17:50

need to know name Wink

LadyReuleaux · 20/06/2016 17:50

We gave DD an unusual name – a real name though and not ridiculous, though many people haven't heard of it.

My mum snorted and said "You can't call her XXXXXX!" in disgusted tones.

I stayed calm and said "I think you'll find I can."

(In fact I was secretly happy she hated it, as that's the stamp of good taste :))

Of course you don't have to take her preferences into account. Did she take yours into account when she named you? No.

KurriKurri · 20/06/2016 17:51

That is a beautiful name - congratulations on your new little girl Flowers

readytorage · 20/06/2016 17:51

Oh I've just seen you've posted above! I'm in Scotland (Glasgow) and the the way folk would pronounce Eleri would put me off but it's a nice name

Furiosa · 20/06/2016 17:51

Thats a beautiful name Smile

Paniniswapx3 · 20/06/2016 17:51

That's a lovely name - just do your best to ignore & enjoy your new baby! Congrats!

JudyCoolibar · 20/06/2016 17:51

I think that's a lovely name. Tell your Mum she's daft.

And many congratulations on Eleri!

NavyAndWhite · 20/06/2016 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJoeyMaynard · 20/06/2016 17:53

It's not up to her. She got to pick her DCs names, you get to pick yours.

And as for maybe she's worried about a lifetime of ridicule - when we were expecting DS1 about 5 years ago, names my PILs were convinced would lead to a poor child being mercilessly teased included such outlandish names as Isobel, Arthur, Amelia and Jack. Their acceptable name views were firmly stuck back in the era their DC were born in.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 20/06/2016 17:53

Lovely name! Congratulations Flowers

FranksBobot · 20/06/2016 17:53

Ignore MIL she's a knob Wink
Eleri is a gorgeous name and I'm not just saying that because I'm Welsh!

QueenArseClangers · 20/06/2016 17:53

Is it Balonz?

MrsJoeyMaynard · 20/06/2016 17:54

X-posted.

Eleri is very pretty.

dowhatnow · 20/06/2016 17:54

I like it. Do you pronounce it phonetically?

cupofrooibos · 20/06/2016 17:54

Beautiful name OP SmileFlowers

HelsinkiLights · 20/06/2016 17:55

Eleri is a beautiful name. It was on the list (of around 30 names) for DD1.

Queenbean · 20/06/2016 17:56

Is it pronounced Eleri to rhyme with celery?

spankhurst · 20/06/2016 17:56

Eleri is beautiful. I was thinking it might be Y'hyness, which I saw somewhere recently.

thebestfurchinchilla · 20/06/2016 17:56

YANBU, only you and your partner have a say, so long as the baby won't be embarrassed or ridiculed, she has no right to comment. Often GPs have pet names for the child, which is fine but she will have to acknowledge her real name. Ignore her and enjoy your child. Don't let her attitude overshadow this time.

DotForShort · 20/06/2016 17:57

YANBU. The appropriate response to being told a baby's name is, "Oh, how nice." At a pinch (if the name is truly horrendous), one could say something non-committal, e.g. "I've never heard that name before" or "How did you choose the name?" Obviously, not in accusatory or sarcastic tones!

Like most people, I have opinions about names, and I find some choices a bit eyeroll-worthy. But I would never, ever express any negative opinions about a baby's name to his/her parents. Your mother should mind her own business.

thebestfurchinchilla · 20/06/2016 17:57

Oh just seen name and I like it. Nothing offensive or silly about it. Now forget it!

Paniniswapx3 · 20/06/2016 17:58

For info though Op, my DM calls my youngest 'Baby' & it's nothing to do with not liking his name, just her habit (& a N Ireland thing too maybe!).

user12785 · 20/06/2016 17:58

I love Eleri. Congratulations on your new daughter and ignore your mum, she was very rude. If she continues to be rude I would start practising your best hard stares (like Paddington Bear). (Obviously this won't happenw or on the phone Grin )

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